November 08, 2010

Dog is Dead


at the age of 24, it's my first real experience with death.  I'm not looking for sympathy but rather I thought I'd blog about such a unique experience.  She was my best friend and I loved her from the bottom of my heart.  My dog's name is Hawk, and she lived up to her name.  The very first night I brought her home, she caught a rat in my courtyard. Ironically, she lacked the balls to seal the deal and end the rat's life.  My dad had to do the good dead instead.

She was my best friend and my love.  If I were to be reincarnated into a dog, that's how I would've turned out.  I taught my dog a few tricks, but I never disciplined her nor did I keep a collar on her.  She was a free spirit and while I would've liked to have a disciplined dog, I loved her for who she was.  She was the type where as soon as she saw a chance to escape the house, she seized it. But I never worried too much because she always came back in 10-20 minutes, either it was out of love or to get a drink of water :)  It's very like me.  IT's hard to trust those types of people, the ones who won't listen but claim you can rely on them.  I knew my dog very well and I could always trust her so I never had a problem w/her shenanigans.  In the end I was her best friend.  


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It is really weird to lose someone you love.  I can't complain, I'm 24 and this is my first real first hand experience with the loss of life.  I don't think I could ask for more, she died in my arms on the way to the hospital.  She started with me and I came back in time for her life to end with me.  She had a good run and I will miss her so much, it pains me to write this.  I personally feel miserable.  It's on and off again, I feel fine for an hour or so and then it hits again.  But I must be very fortunate for this to be my first hand experience with death at 24.  I mean, the world is a pretty fucked up place after all.  

If you are a sci-fi kind of person or someone w/a scientific mind, you should have realized by now whether you believe in God or not, we are made from stardust.  Stars that die and give birth, that's how we've been conceived.  It's theorized that OUR universe (Multiverses are the new theory) started from a tiny incredibly dense mass and what caused the big bang is gravity.  Because of gravity, our universe exploded and expanded.  It's from this explosion, from deaths of stars, that Life had the chance to start.

I guess I'm trying to rationalize all this, this after all is my first hand experience with death.  My beloved dog, my companion who demonstrated loyalty I will never know from a human being, died in my arms on the way to the hospital.  I will love her and miss her and I as of right now I feel guilty because I know I cannot return the same devotion she showed me.  This might be incoherent and I can expand on it later but I have a headache.

One of my favorite movies is The Fountain by Darren Aranofsky.  It has to do with buddhism principles but also the fact that life is neverending.  This is all cyclical.

I'm taking a few days off from poker before I hit the grind machine again.  I love you Hawk, you were truly a man's best friend.

Posted By Syous at 04:38 PM



TecmoSuperBowl posted on November 08, 2010 at 17:10 PM


Sorry to hear that man :( Make sure you remember the good times and celebrate having had the opportunity to know and love her!

KRANTZ posted on November 08, 2010 at 20:15 PM


sorry to hear about Hawk man. life, death, that is constant - the memories are what we can take along. she'll always be with you where it counts.

Boutch1988 posted on November 08, 2010 at 20:46 PM


sorry for your friend, i can imagine how hard are the moments you live, but just keep in mind how happy you made her by letting her live has she wanted and by trusting hawk. Keep it up

DiggerTheDog posted on November 09, 2010 at 10:29 AM


Nice post OP.

Indeed you are fortunate at 24.

QuVa4 posted on November 09, 2010 at 15:07 PM


Sending you good vibes from this part of the world.

TheGfactor posted on November 09, 2010 at 17:12 PM


It is really tougher than you think at first. Life can be tough at times, remember the good ones!

goldseraph posted on November 09, 2010 at 21:38 PM


Syous - my heart goes out to you. I lost my beloved cat to a tragedy a few months ago, it was also kind of my first experience with that kind of loss. I am 30 and never had anyone near or dear die, only very old great-grandparents and relatives I hardly knew.
I would try to focus on that Hawk got to live such a long, full life with a cool family and people that loved her and let her be herself. And of course all the great memories will stay with you. Maybe work on a little scrapbook or photo album. And when you're ready, give that love to another animal there are many out there who have nobody and nowhere to go.

Sneakers posted on November 10, 2010 at 05:01 AM


Time to get another dog....a new beginning.

Here is a book that I hear is really good for people who have lost animals.

Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover's Story of Joy and Anguish

"The author will donate a portion of his proceeds from the sale of this book to animal shelters."

4.5/5 stars 424 amazon reviews

One review: I could not stop reading this great book, and finished it on the day I received it.

It was very therapeutic, and I wish I would have had it a year and a half ago when I lost my beloved companion "Rover." Any animal lover who has been through the anguish of a sick pet would benefit from this book, and you know you are not alone in your anguish...

By the the video series. You guys are great. Always look forward to seeing it.

Sneakers posted on November 10, 2010 at 05:04 AM


Sorry about the link above. 10 minutes of trying to edit....I give up. Really wish somone would fix this.

Anyways, the book I heard about was
Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover's Story of Joy and Anguish
4.5/5 stars on Amazon.

Love your video content!

bferst posted on November 10, 2010 at 19:20 PM


im sorry, she looks and sounds beautiful.
darren aronofsky is my all time favorite director (although chris nolan will probably soon overtake him) and i know that in another life, and always in your heart, hawk will be with you in one way or another.

BoomBoxx posted on November 12, 2010 at 03:48 AM


Thoughts go out for you man, I remember when my dog passed away. He too was my best friend and was my first real experience with death. My dog, Riley, was by far cooler than most of my human friends haha. Just be comforted to know that things will get better and that the good memories will fill your mind when you think of them over time rather than the bad ones. Sorry for your loss

saibaba12456 posted on December 03, 2016 at 10:25 AM


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