Aggressive Certainty

I'm still not playing poker, and the US online scene is looking pretty sad these days. But in spite of all that, I've started tightening up my finances in anticipation of pending legislation and/or my next deposit. Yup, I'm a total degen. Woteva (as those English kids love to say). I was reading this thread about Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover on 2+2 the other day (when the forums were still up before it got hacked), and it really got the old gears turning. I have about 5K in credit card debt, so I worked Excel and figured that can be cleared with just a bit of budgeting in about 5 months. Yeah, and I've had this revolving debt for about 10 years now... doh! (Don't go for the free t-shirt and credit card offer in college, kids!)

But really thinking about my finances opened up the floodgates: Debt, Savings, Retirement, IRA, Taxes, Bonds, Equities, Keynesian economics, Austrian economics, aggregate demand, malinvestment, animal spirits, and on and on. I'm reading multiple economics and investing books (from all perspectives) and watching multiple documentaries at the same time too, and I still can't get no satisfaction. It's kind of gotten out of control. It's pretty weird cause I never cared about economics before. Anyway, I already posted this in the Awesome Links thread, but it's pretty cool so I'll put it up again:

This vid really hits on all levels, great production value and intellectually stimulating. You can go to the website and wiki all the terms and it checks out as legit economics terms. It's about the coolest, geekiest video I've seen in years. 

As for where I lean theoretically, I'm still not sure yet. I'm in total belt-tightening mode right now, so you could say I'm more in tune with the Austrian school, but maybe not since this lifestyle is only temporary to pay off the credit cards. Keynes is kind of a balla'... anyway, peace!

It's time to face up to reality. I'm on a break. Losing my 2nd online roll on the Everleaf Network has left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. Even though I had a distributed bankroll strategy for awhile, I started playing higher and that strategy went out the window. 

So while I'm rebuilding (saving money, not grinding nanos), I'm going to be mastering a few things I've wanted to for awhile, starting with car maintenance. For the last week, I've been on a research and shopping spree to change the oil and transmission fluids and the spark plugs in my car. Watching Youtube tutorials, comparing parts, etc. is always fun. I got some pro tools headed my way, and my car's going to be purring like a kitten soon. Also, I'm super psyched about putting a Fumoto valve on my oil pain. Just doing stuff with my own hands gives me a deep sense of accomplishment, so I'm really looking forward to it.

But I can't change my oil every day, so for item 2 on my list, we're taking Linsanity (or a renewed interest in the NBA, I'm pretty sure Linsanity is over) to the virtual courts! I used to be a PC game fanatic from the Wolfenstein 3-D days, but I put off all videogames once I re-focused on poker a few years back. But now that I have the time, I'm ready to play. However, I'm not going to do that thing where you play a whole bunch of games and be like, "I'm tired of this game, next." You know what I'm talking about? It's like you collect games but don't really enjoy any game. Nope, I'm not gonna do that. So we're sticking to one game, and that's going to be NBA 2K11.

If you can't tell, I love sports. But in actuality, I only like the idea of sports, and I find following sports in real life tedious and pointless. I'd rather play myself. But since I never got to play sports as a kid, I learned to love sports videogames. Poker is kind of like a sports videogame I think, and maybe that's why I love it so much (and why I use so many sports metaphors to motivate my poker game).

I fell in love with sports videogames back in 1993 with Hardball 3 for DOS. Some of my all-time favorites are Tiger Woods 2004 and MVP Baseball 2005. I don't discriminate against any sport (I've even played some hockey games in my time, and I don't even know the rules) as long as the game itself is solid. But I've never played a good NBA game. NBA 2K11 has been hailed as one of the best basketball... no scratch that, one of the best sports games ever made, and quite possibly one of the best videogames ever made. Now that's pretty impressive. I'm going to learn it inside out. Learn the strategy, practice, practice, and practice some more. We're mastering it, baby.  

Lesson 1, grasshopper: Eurostep, Hopstep & Spin Drive Layups

Not playing right now since Everleaf shut out US players.

Whatever.

So anyway, I was researching LCHF eating which led me to a page about cold showers which led me to a page about becoming a pimp. Oh Internet. In the pimp article, they make a comparison between the mindset of a diamond thief and a skateboarder. Then it struck me that being a good skateboarder is similar to being a good poker player. 

As quoted from the Shy Guy II article:

The most important difference between these two paradigms is one of focus: both
men voluntarily engage in dangerous behavior in the pursuit of a singular goal,
but the way that they interpret their actions could not be any more different.

The thief is fixated on outcome, whereas the skateboarder lives for the process.
He enjoys every aspect of what he does, so much so that he subjects himself to
all the types of torture that the urban terrain can muster.

Sure, the moment of flawless execution is breathtaking, but it is always fleeting;
luckily for the skate rat, it is the process, with every experience that it entails,
that enthralls him. He’ll be out there in the cold, battered and broken, yet still
ecstatic. He has made an art of the minutiae. ‘Success’ isn’t the outcome, it’s
engagement in the activity. The same could never be said of the thief.

Obviously, only one of these mindsets is conducive to long-term happiness and
sustainability ‘out on the grind’; the grind can no longer be seen as a grind.

So, like it says, don't try to be the diamond thief, become the reckless skateboarder. Just have fun out there, brahs.  : )

Interestingly enough, I have a skateboard video on my blog, but I've never skated in my life (other than THPS). It just seemed to fit the mood I was trying for at the time. 

Now I just gotta figure out where to play. Is this blog kind of boring? I think it's kind of boring. 

Have you ever felt like this during a session?

 

I used to just snap like that. I'd start going allin every hand like a maniac until my account was empty. But doing things like this is not a death sentence. Today, I won more in a single session than my biggest tilted chipdump ($200 back in 2007 playing 10NL and 25NL) in what I will call my "dark ages." If you want to change, you can, and you will, if you only set your mind to it. 

"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. "
- Niels Bohr

"Ruin and recovery are both from within."
- Epictetus

If you believe this, and don't lose hope, and be honest with yourself, no matter how bad it gets, you will overcome. Don't give up on yourself.

We, the grinders, for the purpose of effectually robustoing it up and ballin' til we fall, and as the best means of ensuring an expeditious and easy journey do ordain and establish,

"The falseness of an opinion is not, for us, any objection to it. The question is how far it is life furthering, life preserving, species preserving and perhaps species creating." - Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good And Evil


And so established, believe,

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...you're right." - Henry Ford


As it was said,

"It is not terribly difficult to be successful. Only two things are required. First, you must decide exactly what it is you want to accomplish--most people never do that in their entire lives. Secondly, you must determine what price you will have to pay to get it, then resolve to pay that price." - H.L. Hunt


As it was shown,

"The man saw what was necessary to his purpose and he never hesitated before it. His courage was steady--and his faith in his ideas unwavering. He simply knew what was the thing to do, and he went ahead with the serenity of the man who knows." - Ida Tarbell, The History of The Standard Oil Company


And thus, we resolve,

"Don’t try." - Charles Bukowski


And we proclaim,

"Go all the way or go the fuck home."

1-second

2-minute

That wasn't so bad now, was it?

Currently, I'm deleting some of the random, less performance/poker/gambling-related entries on my blog. Aggressive Certainty is not my facebook, and wallowing is not productive, and my inner speech was wrong in those posts. In essence, this is my mental performance log which I hope to use later on to help others. Yup, pretty boring. 

FOCUS!!


I'm just happy to be here, and I hope I can help the ball club. I just wanna give it my best shot, and good Lord willing things will work out. You got to play ‘em one day at a time. 
- "Nuke" LaLoosh, Bull Durham

It's clobberin' time!

And goal-setting time!

(With all due respect to Derek Sivers and his TED talk, I have to tell people my goals. I think announcing our goals, even though sometimes we may give less effort in achieving them, is just one part of the puzzle. We're social creatures. Whether we like it or not, we need other people. A lot of times, the motivation to set a goal in itself comes from wanting to impress others. Without this desire, the goal may not even get set. So setting a goal to tell others and giving suboptimal effort is better than setting no goal at all. )


A-B-C. A, always; B, be; C, closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action.
- Blake, Glengarry Glen Ross


Attention:

I am not a poker player. To call oneself a poker player, one has to actually play poker. So I'm nothing. No, a worse than nothing, I'm a bullshitter, a lousy, good for nothing faker. There's no need to stress myself about this anymore. So I can go home tonight and just do whatever I want -- play videogames, get drunk, whack off, whatever, and feel no guilt whatsoever. 


Behaviors are a reflection of a players desire to become a champion, not words.
- DK @think2win

Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.
- Jim Rohn

Anyone who says he wants to be a writer and isn’t writing, doesn’t.
- Ernest Hemingway


Interest:

Why am I learning poker? I want money. No, I need money to live, but I don't want to work for it. Because I don't want a normal job. Because I don't want a normal life. I know what I DON'T want to do. So I chose poker.


Decision:

I CHOOSE YOU Pokermon!!!!!


Action:

Play every day. Even if it's just for 5 minutes. I don't care if I'm hungry, sleepy, tired, hung over, woke up with a face tattoo in Bangkok or what, I gotta start sessions and get in hands, no matter what. That's priority #1. Everything else is secondary. If I don't play, I have nothing to worry about. Like Mikey says in Rounders, "you can't lose what you don't put in the middle, but you can't win much either." So because I'm such a ritualistic nit, instead of playing, I just talk big and give vague advice in the General forum and call myself a grinder on a break. No more!

I MUST PLAY EVERY DAY!  I WILL PLAY EVERY DAY!


Winners learn to accept the swing they bring to the game at any given day and to score with it.
- Dr. Bob Rotella

I try to write a certain amount each day, five days a week. A rule sometimes broken is better than no rule.
- Herman Wouk

A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?
- Blake, Glengarry Glen Ross

I made a Twitter account yesterday. There are no plans to use it socially, however; it's just a realtime news ticker onto the pulse of online poker which, hopefully, by the grace of fsm, I can avoid checking very often. 

So to commemorate my entry into the world of Twitter, here's my favorite aphorisms (or tweets whatever) from the always interesting yet sadly defunct Nassim Nicholas Taleb account:


"I trust those who earn their living lying on their back more than those who do so sitting on a chair (hint: I read in bed)"

"Preoccupation with efficacy is the main obstacle to a poetic, noble, elegant or heroic life."

"You will be civilized the day you can spend time doing nothing, learning nothing & improving nothing without feeling the slightest guilt."

"If you know in the morning what your day looks like with any precision, you are a little bit dead -the more precision the more dead."

"1-Knowledge is subtractive not additive; what we subtract (reduction by what does not work, what NOT to do) not what we add (what to do)"

"2-Corollary: The best way to spot a charlatan: someone who tells you what to do instead of what NOT to do. (Stockbrokers Consultants...)"

"I may forgive someone for harming me; I can’t possibly forgive anyone for boring me."

"The characteristic feature of the loser is to bemoan mankind’s flaws, biases & irrationality -without exploiting them for fun and profit."

"A good foe is far more loyal, far more predictable, and to the clever, far more useful than any admirer."

"Greatness starts with the replacement of hatred with polite disdain."

"Your reputation is harmed the most by what you say to defend it."

"Charm lies in the unsaid, the unwritten and the undisplayed. It takes mastery to control silence."

There will be no more goal pimping on this blog (after this one obviously). No more "gonna do this, gonna do that." The Mornings Are Win entry was a total fail. I played 3 morning sessions then stopped playing poker entirely. My motivation fell off a cliff.

I've fallen into the announcement trap. What. The. Mother. Effer. I fell for the announcement trap. 

Hey Dave, remember that video clip you saw a few months back and talked about on your blog?

www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html ?

Yeah, that one.  Hellooo, McFly?!

This blog is now for brags, beats, cryptic musings and lolcats.  And dreams.  Big dreams. The bigger the better. But the goals to achieve them, the details, the process, the secret recipe, that's being kept in the lab for now. I can share the awesomeness of it all in a well post or something once I make it.

Here comes a monster quote,

"To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day." 

    Lao-tse, Tao Te Ching

Bam!  I'm going to the moon, bitches.