May 28, 2011
In the last 2 days I have managed to blow all of my winnings at 4nl in two monstrous sessions. It seems that I have developed several severe leaks in my game which need plugging. The biggest one appears to be arrogance. I admit that I have a tilt problem, but I'm too arrogant to do anything about it. I know that I need to study my hands, but I'm too arrogant to sit down and actually do it. Ultimately, I deserve to have lost, because I wan't putting in the work required to make me a winner.
So, I have decided to start this blog. I've always wanted something to write about, and now I've got something. To start with, I'm going to take 30 days off from playing poker, and spend it studying poker. It seems extreme, but bad habits are like addictions, and when I quit smoking, I only managed it because I quit cold turkey. Cutting down just never sufficed.
The first step is going to be detaching myself from my losses. I'm fresh off the second bad session, and feeling pretty sore about it, but in order to be able to go back to my session and review the hands tommorrow, I need to level my head. I think I'm going to do this by doing some mindful walking. I'm feeling pretty hungry, so I could go to supermarket and by some rolls, practice my mindful walking as I'm doing so. The tommorrow I'm going to begin looking at my data base, and try and see where it is I'm going wrong.
I'm also going to post a blog entry everyday for the next 30 days, as a way of holding myself accountable. Discipline seems to be something I lack, too often being a creature of impulse, so by doing this, if I fail, I'll be broadcasting my shame to the DC community.