November 03, 2009
I have 9 goals that I mentioned in my first post. They are pinned up right in front of me so every I look up from my computer I am reminded of them. I want to add a new goal to the list.
I am the type of person who wants to be the best at most of the things I do, but, not everything. I get bored very quickly but as long as I enjoy it and I am passionate about it I will get after it. Poker is one of those things in my life that has stuck and I will not EVER be satisfied unless I accomplish my goals.
While thinking about this lately I came to the realization that I shouldnâ€™t be going down this path unless I absolutely do everything in my power to become one of the best in the world. I donâ€™t think you can be hands down the best player ever or in the world in poker. Itâ€™s not like sports where there are clear cut best players ever like John Elway in football or Michael Jordan in basketball. The nature of the game just doesnâ€™t allow it.
Upon first discussing my goals with Kai I told him I just wanted to be a world class tournament player and be sufficient at 400NL. After everything I have learned up to this point it would be criminal to sell myself that short. I feel like learning cash games can translate into winning tournaments much more seamlessly than the other way around.
So, new goal: Become one of the worlds BEST poker players and try to sustain that title for as long as possible. The time frame for my new goal will be by the time I am 30, which gives me 5 and 1/2 years to accomplish.
In other news my GF and I have broken up officially. Iâ€™m sure many of you know how hard it is to actually end things, especially living together. Well it was cemented when I told her I was moving to LA with my backer and another one of his students.
She feels like I am running away from her and school which isnâ€™t a totally unreasonable thought. The bottom line is that we always fought and as time went on it became harder and harder to see a future together. When I felt that it was completely over I thought it was a perfect time to chase my dream. That is why it appears that I am running away from her.
The next step was telling my family what I was doing; Quitting school, moving to LA with my backer to play poker full time even though Iâ€™m not a winning player. They didnâ€™t really like that idea. My GFâ€™s parents think I am having something like a midlife crisis LOL. At 24 Iâ€™m am having a midlife crisisâ€¦.My GF called me a coward for running away. The hardest thing is that I still have 2 months left in the leaseâ€¦â€¦
I think I am the opposite. I am grabbing my balls and following through with what I have always wanted to do. I am not going to wait until its safe. Iâ€™m sick of putting my dream on the shelf to do what other people think is the right thing. I say, go after it now and do everything later. I refuse to wake up when one day, 35 yrs old with a wife and kid and say â€œI wish I had tried harderâ€. I want no regrets. I could give a fuck if I fail. Fuck, if I fail I hope its miserably because at least I will learn something.
I guess Chamillionaire was right in his song solo, the closest people to you do hate on you the most. Your family, your friends will sit there and tell you what they think is right. Maybe they know, maybe they donâ€™t. In my experience they donâ€™t know shit. Iâ€™m out to prove everyone wrong and discover new things about myself.
So, I can promise you all this. I will do everything I can to become the best in the world. I will be as honest as I can about everything I do, all the steps I take and all of my failures. This could go either way. 6 months down the road I could be broke, depressed and kicking myself for leaving school and my GF behind.
Or, I could be balling out at the WSOP and a consistent winner at 200-400NL. Itâ€™s both exciting and scary at the same time. What will happen to me? All I ask of those who follow my blog is to hold me accountable for what I have said. I want you to criticize me.I donâ€™t take it personally; I use it as fuel to become a better person in the long run
Anyways, I appreciate anyone who has followed me so far. There will be much more exciting content in the coming months, I promise you all that.