Back To The Trap House

Like many of you I hated school. I hated scan trons, tests, grades and teachers. I always felt like I could be doing something more productive with my time.

In my eyes I would happily sat in a library for 8 hours a day reading whatever I was actually curious about rather than some stupid geometry class. I did the bare minimum to get by and the majority of my time was spent drawing pictures in the back of the class. Every once in a while I would blurt out some smart ass remark and get sent to the deans office. When my parents would get called in it was always the same story, that I was a smart kid but I didn't care or try. I could give 2 shits if some teacher thought I was smart or not but at that point I would try, pull off a hail mary pass and turn my grades around just in time for the semester to end.

When I went home my back pack hardly ever opened. When I got a car it usually just stayed in the trunk. I had a locker I never used. I just left books in there. When I got home I would either play video games until night or draw.

I used to draw for hours on end. The entire day sometimes. I loved drawing and wanted to be a cartoonist when I grew up. Somewhere along the way I got lost and kind of just stopped drawing as much. I didn't want to be a cartoonist anymore and I didn't like the idea of it any longer. I still doodled on my homework but never really cleared time to actually dedicate to it.

Well, after doing some soul searching I've decided to do go back to school and pursue a degree in design. I never knew there were so many things you could do with that degree. I enjoy the culture and the people in it as well. I just want a job I enjoy going to.

Things are going a little better at work as well. I am moving away from sales and more into the marketing side of things. Once I finish my degree I will have marketing experience and will have a good chance of getting hired!

I am still chasing that dream of people a great poker player but with a slightly tweaked mind set. To make sure I think more in the long term I have decided to refer to it as my retirement fund. Retirement is very far off for me of course but this way I won't be so desperate to make money which will in turn help me make better decisions.

I am also going to make another blog. The original purpose of this blog was to express my feelings and get my thoughts out. I've been really open about things that I would have a hard time being open about to people I know or in person. I would like to be even more open but some of the stuff I talk about I don't necesarily feel comfortable sharing because I know some of you now. I don't know if I will tell anyone about my other blog. I want it to be for me but at the same time it would be interesting to get feed back on my thought processes.

Most of the blog will consist of my struggle with addiction and never ending pursuit of attaining balance. Some of the things I have talked about in this blog have rubbed people the wrong way. I would like to avoid that since I will be posting on the forums still.

I will also talk about woman a lot and my approach. I am constantly tweaking my game and have been studying and thinking about it for a very long time. I changed my approach over the past year and it has been working great for me. I just realized today I haven't been aggressive enough. With a little more aggression I should be able to do much better. My general approach is to just chill back and let situations present themselves.

I have decided that I will NEVER deposit another dime onto an internet poker website. I am going to challenge myself to turn $0 into a bankroll. This is how a lot of players got there start. I think there are some valuable lessons I can learn through this challenege that I would never learn unless doing so. I will continue playing live because it is so soft and also document my $0 challenge. I think I will try it on Carbon poker. They have $200 free roll tournaments running. Cake poker as well and when other websites come back in I will try them too!

Anyways, I appreciate anyones feedback and the people who have read my blog. I will continue blogging here but keep it more poker related. The other blog will be more so about my life.