July 31, 2012
crossroad
i'm at a crossroad in my life.
I feel so confused as to what to do.
i tried (and failed at) poker, in the end it wasn't the dream scenario - I would attribute naivety and life leaks to that. I went to Korea to work as an English instructor, fell in love with a girl here -but i am absolutely bored here in general.
I feel like I don't know what the best plan is for my future. By all accounts anyone who has met with me on a personal level just says 'you can do it' or 'you are gonna make it', but i'm now 25; no savings, no real plan, aside from 'keep travelling and see the world then make my mind up when the time is right'.
now i've heard myself say that dozens of times, it just sounds like a convenient excuse.
at the moment i plan on working online as an instructor for a Korean tutoring company. Thing is though, I don't have a big plan yet. It's just (again) so convenient. Give it twelve months and will I be satisfied? I doubt sincerely.
I need a goal, a vision, a mission, a purpose so to speak. It's a mixture of apathy and regret and potential yet unfulfilled that i'm in this state about, soju doesn't help the matter either.
this is a TL;DR but should you happen to cross this part of the interwbs, give me your perspective. Or just trololololol
5 Comments:
delcrossb posted on July 31, 2012 at 20:25 PM
Do you have any skills or education? Have you ever found anything that you enjoyed and succeeded at?
8fold posted on July 31, 2012 at 22:39 PM
Hey man!
I've just made this account so I can give you my perspective.
I found your blog two years ago, read it then (was a good read) and subscribed via googlereader. And now, just before going to bed the only item was your post. And it hit me.
You are not the only one in this situation. I'm kinda in the same boat as you are. I started playing in 2005 (man the games were soft) and became a pro in jan 2006, and made a killing till 2009. You can check my blog at cardrunners (search for INSPIRON). It was one of the top member blogs there.
I'm at the crossroads too. Except i'm 4 years older than you are. Recently i've spent one hole month thinking about a definitive major purpose in life. As the month went by, i came closer and closer to my answers.
Finally, this is what nailed it. A very smart question:
"What would you do if you had all the resources available in order to succeed?" - its purpose is to help you align with what's truly important for you, to find your direction. And btw, my definition of success is "giving my best and learning from the experience, disregarding the actual result".
Follow up question:
"Why would I want to do that?"
This is a very important question. This will help you understand the true motives/reasons for doing it, and see whether you are capable of achieving the same thing in a more efficient way (by doing something else). Also, if it's a strong "why" it can also help you keep motivated when the going gets tough.
And finally you need to imagine yourself already there, and already doing it (for some time now) and see how it feels. You can ask yourself a few questions:
"Will this activity bring happiness or suffering to others?"
"Will I keep on doing this if it is my last day on this world?"
These will show you if it's worthwhile.
Good luck! Hope it helps. Keep us updated, or reply here. I'd feel better if me writing this was not a waste of time.
8fold
rrumsey posted on August 01, 2012 at 04:52 AM
sorry to hear this man sounds like your in a rough spot. Just remember that when you really hit rock bottom you will default to your passions and what makes you happy. Steve Jobs was broke, sitting in on classes at university, and he basically dreamed up what became everything "apple" there. Stick to what you have a passion for, whatever that may be.
Mullanimal posted on August 01, 2012 at 11:43 AM
I met you and some DC guys the first time I passed through Thailand and have followed your blog on and off, nice blog btw, I actually have some of your notes saved to a pdf.
I think its hard to give advice without knowing you well. I will say a little over a year ago I was probably in a somewhat similar situation, little savings not sure what I wanted to do etc. But things have turned around quite a bit over the past year. I don't think I did anything specific, just what I wanted to do became clearer over time.
So biding your time tutoring for a year may not be the end of the world, as it gives you time think of what bigger picture plans will satisfy you.
I hope what I'm saying is slightly different to, 'keep travelling and see the world then make my mind up when the time is right'.
:)
corkeye posted on August 05, 2012 at 21:35 PM
how old are u?
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