May 19, 2011

Gambling Story Part. 4

On some level I knew that continuing to play was bad, but when in the frenzy the logical straight thinking person doesn't have a say in the matter. I spun long enough to lose $3k putting me at $15k even and forced myself to take a break, so I could think about things for a moment. It was no use to try and think logically about it. I was going to play, and that was it.

It took me about 15 minutes to lose $14k, and for some unknown reason I felt fine about it this time. I did not feel sick or bad, I just felt numb to it at this point. I only had $1k left on Party Poker and in a weird way I was relieved because I knew I was almost done. I decided to make my last two spins by wagering $500 per number, on one number per spin. I clicked the $500 chip and laid my bet on number 17, which I lost. For my last and final bet I clicked the $500 chip and laid my bet on number 7, which also lost. I was not mad, or unhappy, I knew this was inevitable. I decided I would ban myself for 30 days in hope that I would be done with my gambling binge by then. I poked around Party's software trying to find the self-exclusion option. I sifted through about 3 different sections of their software with out finding it, when I noticed I was eligible for a no strings attached instant $50 bonus. I accepted the bonus and figured I may as well spin it. I sat down with my "free" $50 and decided to place $25 bets on two numbers. I chose the numbers quickly, numbers 2 and 25. I hit the spin button and sure enough number 25 was the winner, which paid $900. I did not flinch, by this time I had wagered so many large bets that a $900 win didn't even feel like a win (which is crazy). 

I figured I should go for all or nothing with my new found $900. The first bet I placed was $100 on four numbers, with plans of betting the remaining $500 on one number the next spin. Spin one was a loser, and I remember having this strong "good feeling" about number 1. I remember thinking " I wish they would let me bet more because number 1 is gonna hit". With no hesitation I plopped my last $500 down on number 1, and hit the spin button. The wheel came to rest, and as if I were Nostradamus himself the winning number was number 1, and just like that I won the $18k back. I was almost frustrated to win because once again I had a lot to lose. The sick feeling I had grown a custom to was back, and it was worse than ever.

I sat for a few minutes pleading with myself to just book the win and move on. To this day that is one of the strangest experiences I have ever had. Talking to yourself in that way doesn't seem possible?, but it is like I am 2 people. Person 1 is a calculative, logical person who always tries to better himself through solid decision making. Person number 2 is a balls out psycho when it comes to risk, and he just wants more and more, regardless of the  inevitable -EV ending. The psycho in me usually wins these battles, and he just won yet again, I was spinning in less than 3 minutes of my self forced break.

Thousands of dollars were changing hands every minute. By the time I had lost $8k back I began to realize how ridiculous everything had become. I started to accept the fact that I may have developed a problem, and the spins came to a halt. I began running through a checklist of things I would have someone else do if they were uncontrollably gambling. The best first step seemed to be killing the enabler, which right now was Party Poker. I closed the table as fast as I could and desperately tried to find the self exclusion option. Eventually I found it, and before I excluded myself I cashed the remaining $10k to moneybookers. I decided to exclude myself for 3 days in case I had to login to send documents, or in case I had to login again for other reasons related to the cash off. I was finally banned from all sites, and all things gambling, and it felt good.

The Aftermath

The ordeal ended with me winning somewhere near $35k playing roulette. I can report that I have not faltered since that final spin on Party Poker, and I hope I never play again. To all who read this I would say DON'T GAMBLE. No sports, roulette, blackjack, dice, or any other game of chance. It is just not worth it. It can lead to serious problems very easily, and without you even realizing it. There is just no god that can come from wagering on games of chance. You will lose. I don't want to get preachy, but I really believe it's an easy trap to fall into, especially if you are a poker player who plays on sites where these many games of chance are offered. That is all I have to say, good luck to everyone.


Posted By WaLkOfLiFe at 01:45 PM



sandr1x posted on May 19, 2011 at 14:58 PM


born with a silver spoon in the mouth ;)

WilsonChiang posted on May 19, 2011 at 16:00 PM


Its gonna happen again.

Makaton posted on May 19, 2011 at 16:18 PM


But you won 35 Ginos!!!


I play live poker in our local casino on average about once a week at the $200 level. The rest of my poker time is spent grinding the online micro and small stakes during the week after work. I'm slowly building my BR and dream to one day be able to make a living playing poker (don't we all?). Some friends of mine would say "gambling for a living are you crazy?!"

Each week after playing live for about 8 hrs and usually a winner almost every session I decide it's time to quit and go get a beer. Walking to the bar with the extra money in my pocket is always a good feeling. Feeling like I deserve this I belly up, order my beer, take a couple of sips and look around at everyone while thinking to myself "what a bunch of suckers!" From there I like to just walk around in a very relaxed state sipping my beer and go watch them gamble. I'll find a spot at the craps table, move over to the roulette wheel and then maybe spot a couple of cuties playing blackjack. Until I finish my cold one and head for home its just a fun place to be.

As poker players hopefully we never stop thinking such things as 'my pot odds' and 'my implied odds' etc with every decision we make. I made a decision about a year ago when I first started taking poker kinda seriously to not ever gamble in the casino as long as I'm there to play poker. Sure it's fun say, once or twice a year if for example on a fun date to say to oneself "I have this much to blow on the games but I'll quit when it's gone" and that's what you stick with. Online casino's are simply anathema to me. As long as you know the reality on gambling you'll be ok. When gambling in a casino for example you will never be in a position where your pot odds are greater than your chances of winning. Absolutely never, or you'll be banned..LOL. The house always wins over time and that's as sure as death and taxes. So I never bother with it.


elorean posted on May 19, 2011 at 20:05 PM


I work in a casino and your story typically is that one of a gambling problem, I see it all the time especially after people score their first big win.. after that you know they return multiple days a week until they've lost all they once won and then some more,

one advice to all: stay away from any -EV games.. they're very addictive and there's simply no skill involved.. just dumb luck

good to hear you resigned from roulette with still some profits and didn't blew your poker bankroll, hope you learned to stay away from roulette and I appreciate that you had the guts to tell the story, took quite some courage I think.

GL hitting the poker tables!

I_am_fish posted on May 22, 2011 at 00:00 AM


Maybe you are infected with these things:

Infectious Zombie Brain Parasite: So you think you know why you take risks?
By Julian

Are you a zombie controlled by a brain parasite? How would you know? Welcome to the terrifying world of toxoplasma gandii.
Note: No reputable scientist would joke around with a term like ‘zombie’ like I do. They have better things to do with respect to this serious subject matter.

Toxoplasma gondii (tox-o-plaz-ma gon-dee-eye) is a protozoan parasite that traditionally infects the brains of rodents, on it’s way to the guts of cats. Toxoplasma gondii has a fascinating, specific effect on rodent behaviour: it makes them attracted to the odour of cats. Instead of avoiding the scent of these vicious predators, rodents seek out felines, and get eaten. It does not make them less fearful of other things, like open spaces or of unfamiliar smelling food. It just makes cats smell dee-lish!

There are many examples of mind-control between species, often involving plants altering insect behaviour through chemicals, or parasites altering animal behaviour from within. This one is of particular interest because toxoplasma gondii infects about 25% of the human population, and there are indications that it has an impact on human risk taking behaviours. See the wikipedia article at for an overview of the little critter, and How different strains of parasite infection affect behavior differently (cited below) for a recent study on what it may do. I wonder when insurance companies will start to use toxoplasma gandii infection as a risk factor in your car insurance. I can just see the questionnaire: “Are you a zombie under the influence of a brain parasite (Y?N)?”

While we humans are profoundly ignorant of the things that influence or modify our own motivations and behaviours, brain parasites is a particularly creepy one that to add to the watch list. Anchoring and prospect theory (related to loss aversion) really don’t hold a candle to it.

I_am_fish posted on May 22, 2011 at 00:04 AM


Thanks for the great story btw. I have enjoyed the read. :)

cam167 posted on June 13, 2011 at 21:43 PM

Dv av1

Damn Jo, this is some concerning shit, hope you are all right, and that it wont happen again.

Epic read though, you had me literally shaking my head, and holding my hands to my face.

Okay, i'm of to the roulette tables, ttyl :D

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