December 13, 2009

Oh dear....I got bored

And when I get bored I usually do daft stuff like this….

UFO Enemy Unknown starring DC members!!!!!

Now I tried this idea before but video only really doesn’t work so this time it’s a screen shot attempt which is easier to get through.

For those who haven’t played this game, just go on Steam and download a copy for $3 or something….


Jan 1st 1999:

Alien craft spotted over Earth, abducting people yadda yadda, nefarious schemes, what do they want etc. Supreme Commander Boomer and his squad of DC coaches and members to the rescue…maybe.

We plonked our first base in Europe (German Border) becasue:

1) I live near there
2) Although the Americans are the biggest contributors they’re only 1 country as opposed to the many of europe…DEAL WITH IT! I’ll stick a base there assuming we survive that long.

Of course any army needs weapons and the Rifles and Pistols we got from Busto Army Surplus™ aren’t really going to cut it, so….

Oh baby.

We found our first UFO pretty quickly but our Interceptor pilots were a bit careless and all we ended up getting from it was the knowledge that nuclear tipped warheads were fine for blowing up Alien ships that were all of 10 feet in diameter…great going chaps.

But then good news!!

Umm yes…do that

However as seems to be the case these days, every time there’s a good message it’s time for someone to piss on my bonfire.

Great, on the deck and entreched.

Oh well here we go.

No I’m not bloody ready but we’re going to do it anyway. I’ve tried to filter out the worst of my starting soliders but nothing is perfect…hopefully they’ll be ok.

MISSION 1 – Small UFO – Landed and Intact

Attending X-Com Personnel

BigBadBabar (In remote command of Tank due to excellent pre-game testing…or maybe it’s the fact that if I get him killed I’m never going to here the end of it)
Joe Tall
Ms Bungle

_BBB: Well we managed to land right next to it so good start guys

PygmyHero: Yeah fine for you with your titanium armoured Death Mobile and remote control back at HQ, what about us in what appear to be hand-me-down flak-jackets???

BBB: Ooooh I’m a Rocket Tank and I’m OK, I roll all night and I pwn all day

PygmyHero: Boomer are you sure this is a good idea?

Boomer: No…get going._

_BBB: Found one.

Boomer: Guys I want you to take down as many as you can to gain combat experience, the tank can’t ever improve and can draw fire due to it’s thick armour so…

BBB: Umm did you say draw fire??

Boomer: oops…

BBB: Awwww look at it. Ok guys I’m gonna drive by this knee-high wall that appears to block vision, can one of you guys come down and snipe my kill?

Danza: I’m all over this one…

Danza: ARRRGH!!

BBB: Uh, the Rifle shot bounced off it that can’t be too good.

Ms Bungle: DANZA NOOOOO! I’ll get that little freak I swear I….

BBB: Oh my god!!

Boomer: stunned silence


Boomer: Fortunately it also has been folied by the knee-high wall. WILL SOMEBODY KILL THAT THING?!

Sushi: I’m on it

Pygmyhero: Holy Shit Sushi, your Rocket lauchers fires flaming death skulls!!

Sushi: Uh…dibs on “I’m not getting the bill for damage caused”

Pygmyhero: Oh…

BBB: Got another round here and no more Mr. Nice guy…they’re all going down!!

BBB: That’s more like it…I’m gonna go off exploring.

Entity: Hey mike and DD. About that 44 hand we were discussing last night what do you think about the 3-bet pre from the BB….

Boomer: Uh oh…everyone off the Skyranger and into the fight, prepare to breach the UFO.

BG: I’m in position

PygmyHero: I will support you from over here…

BG: Where??

BG: O RLY?!!

Lysistrata: Ew 2 bodies :( Don’t need me to tell you what they died from I guess.

Boomer: Oh I’m sure we’ll find some way of getting them back on board

Lysistrata: but they’re…

Boomer: There’s ALWAYS a way

Lysistrata: You’re getting a pysch evaluation the moment I get back.

BG: I’m close to the door

Boomer: Good, I think we’ve got the exit covered.

Joe: pant stupid…heavy…cannon.

Pygmy: I’m here.

Mikel: I’m just not sure it’s a profitable 3-bet although maybe vs…..

Boomer: Why me? Hey BBB you seeing anything out there?

BBB: uh kinda…

BBB: Oh you ain’t waling away in shame this time…that almost scratched my paintwork!! Say hello to my Little friend!!

Warning: Extreme Flash Photography here…look away if you have epilepsy

BBB: I think it’s dead

Boomer: You really think so?? How am I going to explain THAT to the local farmer??? Sorry Mr Giles but we decided that we were going to test a new ploughing technology and it went a bit wrong?

BBB: It’s not THAT bad

Boomer: ahem


BG: Going in guys

BG: I has a pear!!

Boomer: That’s not a good thing BG. Get Outta there.

BG: Wait if I cap the one I’m next to I can get behind the engine ftw!

BG: Not…quite…according…to….plan

BBB: Did he just miss from 6 in…

Boomer: YES!!!

BBB: And the alien across the room 1-shotted….

Boomer: YES!!!!

BBB: OK I’m gonna finish this…

Boomer: Wait, there’s too much valuable stuff in there to be torching it. Joe if you can make it in we’ll have Pygmy and Lysistrata cover you

JT: Got it…btw where’s DD?

DD: i think it can work though and here’s why….

JT: Oh forget it!

JT: I’m going in

JT: The aliens appear to have adapted the incredible tactic of standing with their backs to the only entrance to the craft

Boomer: Do what you can Joe

JT: Holla


JT: Remind me next time not to use a Heavy Cannon less that a foot away from my enemy…I’ll never get this out now.

Boomer: Lysistrata, the way’s clear go and save Joe

Lysistrata: On it!

Lysistrata: Uh oh

Boomer: Joe…ok we’re defintely going to have to find a way of getting him back…

Lysistrata: But….

Boomer: ALWAYS a way, besides without him the amount of HORSE content goes down…can’t have that ever. Pygmyhero can you please deal with that thing.

Pygmyhero: Sure…

Pygmyhero: And THAT’S how it’s done!!

BBB: ahem…who has more kills sir??

Pygmyhero: When I get a weapon big enough to dent that tank’s armour it’ll be me

BBB: Haha…Big weapon

Lysistrata: Hey guys…I can’t hear anything…I think we’ve won. wait I can hear something….

Entity: But taken as part of your whole range…

Boomer: Let’s go home people

Boomer: It was a decent raid considering the ship was intact. Loss of life was high but we’re hoping to prevent that in the future and maybe even find a way to help our fallen comrades using alien tech.

Lysistrata: Psych evaluation NOW!

Sushi: SHIP IT!!

_Well that was a lot of fun for me and I may do more in the future, until then back to the SN grind and Premiership football :)

Posted By Boomer at 03:17 PM


Tags: X-Com


ohjoy posted on December 13, 2009 at 19:25 PM



Entity posted on December 13, 2009 at 23:13 PM


I have no idea what is going on here, but I love it.

Lysistrata posted on December 14, 2009 at 01:27 AM


LOLOLOLLOL!! ::heart:: Checked out your PTR during study break. Sick, imo.

Ribbo posted on December 14, 2009 at 08:52 AM


So this is why you were off skype all week huh?

deadguy posted on December 14, 2009 at 10:15 AM


UFO: Enemy Unknown. They dont make it like this anymore. Obv the bestest game ever =)

Boomer posted on December 14, 2009 at 17:51 PM



To those wondering wtf:

The game is UFO Enemy Unknown, also called X-Com UFO Defense, released in 1994 and pretty much the best game of all time. (IGN said so twice)

It basically comes in 2 parts, Geoscape when you base manage/research etc and tactical where you fight the invading aliens. One of the redeeming features is that you can edit the names of the soldiers under your command and given how brutal the game can be at times it made me "care" more about them than the standard lemmings you sometimes get in RTS's.

Plus it's Turn-based which makes it better imo, this type of game just doesn't work in Real Time as Real time lacks immersion hugely due to the "Pause and Cheat" feature in most of them whereas Turned based leads to you being much more careful.

The re-naming feature and general incompetence of your beginning grunts also makes the game great for playthroughs since it never plays the same twice and doesn't resort to a gimmick to do that, just randomish maps, a storyline which advances based on what you do rather than a time-stamped progression and not a lot of interference from the PC, you just have to put up with the consequences if you screw up.

@Ribbo: actually this only took about 2 hours includign the playthrough...I spent most of last week playing Homeworld and working :(

@Lysistrata: LOL don't believe everything you see on Tableratings :). If you're on Skype at some point I'll show you what HEM thinks of PTR :)

@Deadguy: Yup. You ever played it multiplayer?


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