I am writing this topic because I am very concerned about my poker game and even maybe about myself.
I started playing online poker about 20 month ago, and I usually start very neaty a new experience: got a lot of ebooks, forums and so on. I learned about bankroll management, progressive play, TAG ...
I usually deposit ~50$ / month and so far I tried a lot of poker variants: NL, FL, SNG, MTT. I failed in all of them. Why?
I start with 50$, or 100$, and 2 or 3 days I play cool , in bankroll, cash or sng or mtt. I am winning. After a few days, I Kaboom and go with all the bankroll at a higher stake, or I buy in a MTT with the whole bankroll. I do it, I lose it, and say next time I will not do this again. Next time cames, same s***, different day :-).
Recently I watched Pokersense series, and learned about neuroticism. I reviewed my poker play and even my life from this perspective, and I am quite sure that my personality has a high neuroticism. Several tests confirms this.
- I started guitar many years ago hoping to be a rockstar. I reached a semi-pro level, I never touched the guitar again
- I started piano 2 years ago. Exceeded the teacher expectations (learned very good Fur Elise in 3 month), never touched the piano again
- I started aqauarium hobby, was like crazy for 1 year, then suddenly quit. Still have the aqaurium, but only feed the fish
- Yesterday I lost my 100$ bankroll playint an 11+R MTT after some cracked AAs on 2NL (before that I was running very good). So I am a tilting donk.
Is there a cure for this? If it is not, I fear that I will ever be a winning player. In real life I can cope, I am quite a funny and social guy, but when coming to goals, dreams ... they go down the drain after a while.