How to Deal: Big Wins and Big Losses

To many of you on the outside, a professional online poker player’s lifestyle looks glamorous: we work from home, have a lot of money, and can wake up at 1pm on any given day and not have to answer to anyone. We have it easy.

This article is for those of you on the inside, who know that we don’t.

Don’t get me wrong here - there are many privileges we’re thankful for in avoiding the grind of the 9-5. But I posit that our grind is far more brutal on the mind and our boss cracks the mother of all whips. We are slaves to that dastardly dame, Variance, and she packs one fucking hell of a punch when she’s PO’d.

So this article is for all of us who are bedfellows with that beautiful bitch. I write this out of my own experiences coping with winning bigger and losing larger in individual sessions than nearly anyone in the world.

Winning.

Whoever you are and whatever the stakes you play, you will eventually lock up a massively winning day. Here are your instructions:

1. Smile.

2. Buy yourself something AWESOME. Something that will still be there when the wins aren’t coming. I’ve got this kind of expensive Locman watch that I rarely wear but bought after my first big session against Phil Ivey. I had a huge losing day yesterday and looking at that watch makes me feel better. And watching Deadwood on my big-ass Sony Bravia makes me feel a lot better.

3. Go out. Celebrate. Party hard or take your friends or family to an amazing dinner. Take a vacation. Revel in the havoc you’ve wrought on all those noobs.

4. Appreciate your life. Smile.

5. Cash out some of it and put it in an IRA or some ETFs or even a money market fund. DANGERLION is no bullmarketpoker.com, but the gist of it is that Future You will fondly remember Past You for doing this.

6. Let the rest get to know your bankroll. They’ll become fast friends and help you get to HigherStakesville faster. There’s nothing wrong with taking a shot at a new limit. But be ready to drop back if Variance suddenly doesn’t like your outfit.

7. Smile. Have someone take a picture. When the big loss comes, you can stare longingly at the picture trying to figure out just how your cheek muscles were able to contort like that once upon a time.
Losing.

1. Write a list of your favorite things and your favorite people you want to have them.

2. Break all of your computer equipment. You won’t need it where you’re going.

3. Go buy some Ecstasy. You’ve always wanted to try that.

4. Find the tallest building you can and a comfortable ledge. Ideally in a public place with a lot of adoring fans at the bottom.

5. Fly!

Kidding.

Here’s what I do, though, and it seems to work for me.

Turn off my computer. Sleep for a long while. Wake up and take a walk or indulge in Chinese food. Think about a plan to get her back (not the money, but Variance. Revenge, obv). Plans are great because they bring some order to what feels like complete chaos. Use the loss as a rallying cry to work on your game. Take a BREAK. Read about poker or review your PokerTracker but DO NOT play. That advice comes from years of chasing. Chasing women never gets you anywhere. Let alone Variance.

Here, I’m going to quote from the back of Tommy’s book. He will be my first official poker coach.

The streak is there when you think about it, and when you stop thinking about it, it goes away. It blossoms and whithers, all in your mind. And when your mind invents a streak, you believe it exists, because you believe what your mind tells you. But the truth is there is only the hand you are playing.

Every loss makes you poorer in money but richer in strength. So a $10,000 loss hurts. But without it you would never be able to put yourself in the position to win $50,000.

Drop down in stakes to regain confidence. Who cares if you played 10/20nl and now have to play 3/6? This is a long-run game. You answer to Future You and NO ONE else. Cash out and buy something cool. Go out to dinner and appreciate that you’re able to play a game for a living and that you’ve traveled to 6 countries in a year while your peers are stuck with 20 vacation days. Remember how to smile.

It’ll be alright.  Winter turns to Spring.  Life goes on.

Y’all on the inside should take this to heart.

And you guys on the outside - stay away from Variance. She’s no good for you (and she’s MINE!)

-krantz

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