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I could kill hours here.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

(601): Are you drinking alone?
(662): no, i'm watching house
(601): That doesn't count.
(662): wtf, then i'm always alone

Also, check this track (click on the play bar):

http://themattsmith.tumblr.com/post/101479588/hey-look-guys-i-just-made-an-internet-meme-eat

Rob

http://www.bash.org/?top

irc chats - similar to textfromlastnight

Some of these are awesome.

Edit: After re-reading some of these, I take it back, they are amazing.

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

Swine Flu??

OMG this was hilarious


<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

This one:


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

http://www.fmylife.com/ is better.
But that track is best.

http://miketysoncheats.ytmnd.com/

http://www.fmylife.com/

Today, a random girl called me asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said "what the fuck" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML

Ouch!

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

OMG I'm completely freaking out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!

lolz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b5CKSqlz60

Also, http://thru-you.com/#/videos/

http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=40&cols=40&id=pAwR6w2TgxY&startZoom=1

You might need a bucket handy for when your mind explodes.

http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=40&cols=40&id=pAwR6w2TgxY&startZoom=1

You might need a bucket handy for when your mind explodes.

epic.