Small Stakes Shorthanded NL Poker Forums

I need someone for a project!

Requirements: you play poker at either the 100NL or 200NL level (6-max only please), have taken shots (maybe even lots) at the next stake and can NOT move up successfully. you put in a fair amount of volume and have enough free time to groove this project. (camtasia skills are very welcome).

Here are a few questions to answer (you can ship to me by PM or post in this thread). I'm going to pick someone in a week or so.

1. If at first you don't succeed....

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?

5. What site do you play on? Why?

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?

12. Why should I choose you for this project?

Answer with as much/little detail as you like, skip questions if you want, answer however you like.

Let's try and have some fun with this. I'll humor you and whichever substance you were on while creating this questionnaire.

1. If at first you don't succeed, and I'm assuming you want the thing that you're trying to succeed at, you should probably weigh the effort it will take you in having another go at the thing against the likelihood of success and the level of how much it's worth to you accomplishing the thing, and then make a decision.

I'm not gonna say "well fuck, you should try again duhhh" because you might be high and semi-passed out on the couch, trying to reach for the remote but in doing so, realize that the popcorn is actually within arms length and watching lions humping eachother on the Discovery channel is actually teaching you valuable life lessons, which are better enjoyed with popcorn. So in that case, abandon your quest for the remote entirely and go down the path of popcorn and Safari Suave.

2. Let's try and answer this one in more of a poker kinda context. Let's say you open the CO and some mudmonkey 3bets you from the button. You could take the eye-for-an-eye approach and 4bet bluff his his red rear end, knowing full well that most mudmonkeys don't have the coconuts to 5ball bluff you. In that case, I'm all for it. You could also go all zen on him and keep folding till you pick up a hand. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, although I personally get off on spearing mudmonkeys.

3. If question number two didn't answer it already, I'm in the camp of unbridled aggression. Most people won't 3barrel bluff, I will mostly not do any less. If I there'd be more streets after the river, I'd be betting them too. Donkbets will be raised, check/raises will be 3bet or floated and credit will not be given.

4. The last point of question 3 also illustrates my biggest weakness. Sometimes giving someone credit for a hand is the right thing to do, because well, people sometimes actually have that set that I've only read about. But I am not a huge fan of folding. Aces full, Mike.

5 and 6. So now this. Although I would be entirely justified in taking the second pizza this incompetent primate has on his person, the Full Tilt client is already notifying me from the living room that I'm timing out on several tables and my presence is required. Take my $20 and gtfo. No tip for you for the next 5 runs.

7. Mr T. I seriously hate shortstackers so Pee Wee can go and sort it out with the mudmonkey.

8. McDermott. As much as semi-naked sweaty men pounding on each other are appealing to some people, being a poker player I can identify a little more with Mike McDermott.

9. I am way too European to answer that question.

10. Even though it's not entirely clear why I would be in a bar with retards like that, I'd probably leave this miserable cunt to himself. I have no desire to interact with people who think his own shortcomings can be solved by using violence. I refer him to a party the mudmonkey is throwing with Pee Wee. I'm sure Mike Tyson and him will have a lot to talk about.

11. I will pick my teacher based upon what I think I will gain from my interaction with him or her. Since I'm the one paying money, why would I spend my time slacking off and lowering the efficiency of said coaching? I don't think the coach would be the problem in that equation, although I would expect him to correct occasional slipups or lapses of concentration, if this is a frequent occurrence I'm probably not in the right mindset to be coached anyways.

12. I don't know, let's see what others come up with. I'll be asking you loads of questions and you'll actually have to show me that I've made the right choice in picking you as a coach. Plus I am better at Camtasia than you. Also check a hand that went to showdown in your database where you won an all in preflop with AK vs me from the blinds. You were on the cut-off and I believe I was in one of the blinds. I remember squeezing and then jamming over your 4bet. The result of this hand should emphasize point 3.

1. If at first you don't succeed.... then find a better way and try again!

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?
context is everything but i hardly ever fight at all with anyone about pretty much anything, better to make a joke about something than to take it seriously

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?
Being able to know when to get max value

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?
Volume, constantly withdrawing all my winnings to go out and river play in bloated pots

5. What site do you play on? Why?
FTP for rush its more fun and its fast. Prima for fishy games and great rb

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?
Keep the change, all money is fake anyway so I have little value for it in general

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?
I pitty the fool

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?
Tyson - yeah he's retarded but he was a hell of a fighter

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.
What? british back bacon ftw!

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?
would be shocked to find myself there in the first place but id gtf outta there pretty sharpish with my bird!

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?
the latter if its schooling for schoolings sake, but the former if it is a subject actually beneficial to my enjoyment and happiness

12. Why should I choose you for this project?
You'll have a laugh and ive got a LOT of stories to tell about my life in Thailand..

1. If at first you don't suceed try until you die. Quitting is for Losers.

2. Peaceful warrior walks away... but with one of his enemy's eye.

...

10. Scream at her "What bitch? You being picky now?"
Tell the guy: "Come with me and her to the bathroom and I will make her do anything."
Get to the bathroom, smash the guy face until his passes out and undress him. Girlfriend exits bar through the window with the scumbag's clothes. I leave through the front door with his wallet and car keys after I tell his mates that he sent me to drugstore to buy condoms.
I leave in his car, pick up my girlfriend and go have sex.

...

Not eligible but the questions are too good to pass up + I bump your post.

1. If at first you don't succeed....
Ok a serious qn. Re-evaluate and if you can work out why you failed and can overcome then get back on it. Be honest with yourself.

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?
Depends. Usually I prevent trouble but if some guy were to spit on my girlfriend in a bar just because she woulnd't blow him in the bathroom then......

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?
........

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?
Playing when I shouldn't (not focussed/right mind frame), volume, 3bet pots, river aggression, never believing they have it - oh and ego.....probably some I missed.

5. What site do you play on? Why?
FTP because I like the software. Betfair because it reminds me how good the FTP software is and because it isn't reg infested and almost everyone seems to suck at my level.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?
I would like to say I would never order from them again or tell him to gtfo or whatever but in reality I would probably have tipped him the rest anyway. Now if the pizza sucked - well that's different.

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?
No real idea who Pee-Wee Herman is (know who he is but never seen movies etc) and the name inspires ridicule so I guess Mr T.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?
Seriously? Best thing Tyson did was to appear in Hangover.

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.
Honestly you guys in North America have no idea what good bacon is.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?
Another depends answer that goes something like this:
- Run out like a pussy with the girlfriend and run through all scenarios of what I should have done in my head for the next week/month/year, self-hate, get drunk and go back to the bar looking for the a-hole secretly hoping he isn't there.
- Get the girlfriend outside, go back in tell the guy she didn't blow him as she hates cocktail weiners before I attempt to flatten his face and end up in hospital
- Ask the girlfriend why the fuck she didn't just blow him as a humour distraction then end up in hospital
The depends part is a sliding scale of how much I've drunk in said bar and whether his homies are really small.

EDIT: Thought abaout this on the way home from work and if someone did actually do that (hard to put yourself in that spot) I think I would struggle not to just flip....

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?
If it was something I gave a shit about then the strict dude, if not then the other one.

12. Why should I choose you for this project?
You shouldn't - I don't qualify.

Tollbot only plays 1/2 Limit Omaha Hi, but will answer anyway.

1. If at first you don't succeed....

Does not compute. Tollbot never fails.

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind, which forces them to succumb to their robot masters.

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?

Playing poker.

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?

Does not compute.

5. What site do you play on? Why?

UB. They allow more bots like me.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?

Say "$1, please" until he gives me $1.

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?

Pee-Wee Herman. Anyone who hangs out with a robot like Conky is obviously superior.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?

Mike McDermott. Tyson is guilty of robot abuse.

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.

Canadian Bacon. John Candy makes Tollbot's laughter circuits overload.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

Engage rockets.

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?

I choose the strict. Tollbot would never choose the path of least resistors.

12. Why should I choose you for this project?

You don't choose Tollbot. Tollbot chooses you.

1. If at first you don't succeed....

It depends. If it is something that is important to me, I try again and I try for such a long time, til I am able doing it. If it then won't work, I can say to myself that I did the best I could.

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?

It depends There are situations in which you should just take the peaceful route, but sometimes you just have to fight for the right reasons.

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?

Being able to grind for long sessions and not tilt. That's just hugh for your winrate

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?

I believe I play poorly on monotone boards.

5. What site do you play on? Why?

iPoker and BOSS, because I have a good rakeback deal for them and I want to have every option possible to tableselect well.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?

If I like the food service I give him the $20 and tell him that I won't tip him next time. If I don't like the service, I give him the $20, but I won't order there anymore. For them it might be a win of $4.65 at the moment, but in the long run they lost me as a customer.

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?

In Germany I don't think Pee-Wee Herman is well known, but I googled him and I liked the first vid I found on youtube. Never was a big fan of A-Team, so I choose Pee-Wee Herman.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?

I don't know Mike McDermott, but I googled him, too. I choose him, because I loved the Tony Hawk series for playstation.

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.

I have no idea what's the real difference between them, so I choose a different answer:
I love How I met your mother, and I love the Canadian jokes, so Canadian bacon wins

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

I do it for her!

Well obv not.. This is one of the situations I meant in 2.), because he doesn't have the right to do that, and even he is there with 3 other guys, I let him know that my girlfriend won't do it.

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?

That's a tough one tbh. Better for you is I guess teacher A, because you get to learn more and focus a lot more on what you are actually doing. But, I was more like the guy that would have loved teacher B, because like from 30 hours a week at school I was there for only 15. I mean, I'm a smart guy, so I could do it But "better" would have been teacher A.

12. Why should I choose you for this project?

Because I couldn't give a smart answer to the questions 7-9 I like working with you, so why not doing a project together?

1. If at first you don't succeed....

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

Just be sure to still analyze your situation rationally and base your choice about whether or not to continue toward your goal on both logic and your drive to attain said goal.


2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?

You have to be able to balance these two imo. If the peaceful warrior NEVER fights, he isn't really a warrior, no? Like a poker hand, it's very situations dependent.


3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?

1) My ability to put in tons of hours playing and studying because of a) the enjoyment I get from the game/competition in general, b) being a college student with a lot of time on his hands, and c) pretty much having a competetive drive/sick work ethic for as long as I can remember.

2) Not being afraid to get all in/not playing 'scared money.'


4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?

While actually at the tables, being able to verbalize my thought processes in a sophisticated way in the short amount of time allotted.


5. What site do you play on? Why?

Full Tilt Poker because a) their software is the best imo and b) I haven't built up my VIP status on Stars so my rakeback wouldn't be great.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?

I would have tipped him a few bucks anyway so just let him keep the change.


7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?

Mr. T son. nuff' said.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?

Is there a difference?

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.

Candian bacon. Explanation - candian bacon's delectability is my explanation.


10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

I'd probably have to fight him. If I get my ass beat I get my ass beat, but not doing anything would make me feel like such a bitch. And if I get my ass beat that'd probably be great motivation for learning martial arts (or getting a concealed weapons permit), so whether I kick his ass and I'm the man or he kicks my ass/his homies jump in and kick my ass it would lead to something positive.


11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?

If it's a subject I want or need to learn about then the strict/discipline-oriented one obviously. If it's like some required history class or something then the latter.


12. Why should I choose you for this project?

I have a ton of free time to focus on poker (in college for 3 more weeks with not much to do, only obligation over the summer is doing street magic two nights a week in a club - so I'm just going to be grinding/studying all day everyday), I'll outwork anyone else (anyone man), I'm a mackdaddy, got a pretty sick jumpshot, etc etc.

Why shouldn't you choose me for this project?

1. If at first you don't succeed…
A: Don’t forget about bankroll management.

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?
A: Stay calm, that’s plus EV.

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?
A: Recipro(ci)cality. I don’t play “standard” when it is not the best choice. I check/fold where others bet flop and check/fold turn. I check/call where others getting folds. I quit the games if on tilt, when others trying to break even. I table select when others don’t.

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?
A: I tilt when I make wrong decisions.

5. What site do you play on? Why?
A: Entraction, I know most of the regulars there, know there ranges and how to exploit them.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?
A: He gets them all if the pizza is hot.

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?
A: Angelina Jolie.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?
A: Mike McDermott (I am bad at box)

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.
A: Russian ‘salo’.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?
A: They won’t mess with me, I am too big.

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?
A: I will choose a teacher who likes what he teaches, who is committed to his classes himself, I don’t care about the rest.

12. Why should I choose you for this project?
A: Because I can make it.
I’ve been playing poker since 2007, (played about 2 months nl10 in 2007, about 2 at nl25 in 2008, about 3 at nl25 in 2009, 7 at nl10-nl100-nl50 in 2010 till august).
This year started playing in January, playing for 3 months already, moved up from $100 deposit this January from nl10 to about $10k today at nl100. Failed to move up to nl200 in March (lost 18 byins), won almost the same at nl100…
I’ve played about 320 hours and 150k hands in last 3 months. Playing 6 tables – don’t like multitabling…
I am going to play nl400 by the end of this year.

I've been following the thread just seeing what people answer for question 10...

I've been following the thread just seeing what people answer for question 10...

Ha... I just scrolled down doing the exact same thing.

Ha... I just scrolled down doing the exact same thing.

lol +1

lol I wonder why that is?????

1. If at first you don't succeed....

...you're probably doing it wrong.

2. An eye for an eye? Or the peaceful warrior walks away?

A peaceful warrior is a contradiction in terms. And an eye for an eye isn't a +ev trade, unless of course the other guy has better vision than you....so neither/not enough info.

3. What's the strongest part of your poker game?

Hand reading

4. What's the weakest part of your poker game?

Bluffing stations

5. What site do you play on? Why?

Cereus. Because the games are soft.

6. You order food and the total is $15.35. Delivery guy shows up with "No Change" for the $20 you were going to pay with. What do you do?

Make him go and get change, give him no tip when he gets back, and then call and complain about my food being cold--->get credit for free food.

7. Mr. T or Pee-Wee Herman?

Mr. T by a mile. A-Team is the shit.

8. Mike Tyson or Mike McDermott?

Mike McDermott, he had talent and was held back by other people's lack of vision, but broke through that.

Tyson had talent and threw it all away because of his own lack of vision.

9. Canadian Bacon or Ham? Explain your answer.

Canadian Bacon because I am Canadian and because bacon is AWESOME.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

Make her blow him...get a new girlfriend

Haha kidding obv, I'd go tell the bouncer.

11. You can choose your teacher for the rest of the year. One is strict and values discipline and hard work. The other isn't strict at all and you can probably get away with cutting class or listening to music or chillin' on your laptop in the back of the room and not get in trouble, and still pass the class. Which do you choose and why?

Teacher #1. Because passing isn't as important as learning.

12. Why should I choose you for this project?

EDIT: I don't even know what the project is.

But probably because my answers were awesome.

10. Guy spits on and pushes your girlfriend in a bar because she won't blow him in the bathroom, he has 3 homies with him. What do you do?

Any other serious answer than GTFO (with GF, ldo) to this question is stupid. I might want to fight to prove my manliness like any other slightly retarded male out there, but if I lose it's not just my ass that gets a beating... I can only imagine what they would do to the GF.