June 22, 2012
Rudyard Kipling - confirmed racist, suspected poker degen
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
I can pretty much apply every line of this poem to my poker game. I still need work on some of them to become a man. Today I walked with kings twice, which is uncommon in live poker because you should be getting them like once every 8 hours or so and I got them twice in like 5 minutes. I fuckered up both hands and hate myself. Both times I was 3 bet pre, exceedingly rare in live poker. Both times I just flatted cuz I'm a cocky sob that thinks he can outplay these clueless donors to the game, even out of position. First time flop comes 79J all spades and I don't have the spade. I check/folded to a large $100 c bet into a $120 pot that I knew meant he wasn't going anywhere and was willing to put all 400 in. So I wussed out. I poker stoved it when I got home and I feel pretty ok about this fold. I also could have flatted and pushed any non-spade or ace turn. Anyways, he showed me AJ with the ace of spades. Whatever. Aside from QQ with no spade, that's pretty much the bottom of his range and it's still a flip. Oh well, I'm pretty indifferent to how I played this hand except for maybe just 4 betting and getting it over with pre.
Second time around, still pissed about that one I get 3 bet again by some other dude who is loose pre and will chase any kind of draw but really only 3 bets monsters. Flop is a fairly harmless QTx and I decide to take a bet/fold line because I figure QQ and AA are a good chunk of his range here and he usually goes into passive check/call mode with top pair kinds of hands. I bet 60 into 110 and he raises to 150. So I fold, right? No, the stupid voices start. I can't fold kings twice in 5 minutes what if he has AQ or getting stubborn with AK? What harm is one more card just to see if he gives up? So needless to say, I call it off then the turn comes a jack and I can't fold to his $200 shove cuz I'm actually ok here equity wise getting about 3-1 on my call but the flop was just atrocious. Oh, he had aces and I lost. Ah well. I'm going to try to blog more. It was good for venting for the two weeks or so I did it before Black Friday, why can't it work just as well for live poker?

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