Life with a Balanced Range

…Golf (part 1)

Learning to play poker and golf have some important things common. Getting interested in either activity hooks you quickly at first, but that initial hook into the game also gives birth to a path paved in frustration. Both games are limitless in their offerings of challenge to both the novice and advanced player. Played at the highest stage they are both pure theater and for those new to either adventure it is especially difficult to separate optimal from poor strategies.

Some of the optimal foundations of learning to play golf can speak to our development as poker players. Both games are studies in the effects of concentration. To have your “A” game in either effort is largely decided on the quality of your focus on that particular day. To become successful at the poker table requires us to define our mistakes as matters of focus. In some cases, we are so inexperienced we simply aren’t prepared to consider all the relevant factors that we should consider in a decision. Perhaps we are still focusing on the strength of our hand in absolute terms or worse yet, we are not actively observing our opponents at a level that allows to move past relying on HUDs to make real reads. This misplaced focus is common, deadly to our “A”, but absolutely within our control.

Having had the experience of working as a golf shop assistant in college I was able to witness plenty of examples of what we might call a “shop pro.” Being a “shop pro” was easy, all you needed to do was have the newest clubs, the newest bag, the most stylish golf polo all combined with neglecting real practice. Needless to say, “shop pros” ended up looking much better than they actually played. This was obvious to everyone, except the “shop pro” of course. The poker equivalent is the player who collects obscene levels of poker related resources, reviews them with low intensity, treats his own coaching sessions casually, and is mostly interested in poker knowledge that confirms where he is correct but never where he is wrong. The poker “shop pro” ends up sounding better than he actually plays.

Prowess at poker and golf both rely on mental strength. Each hole, like each poker hand is a restart to our challenge. Our reactions throughout move us either closer to or farther from tilt. To escape the pitfalls of tilt-oriented thinking and performance great players develop a new definition of scoring. An effective tip for golfers is to never count your actual shots taken hole by hole. Instead the scoring is saved for post-round which saves your energy in the middle of round. Saving the scoring mid-round/mid-poker session lets you focus on the important factors to consider for your next shot/hand. Too many new poker players determine arbitrary and preliminary methods to “score” themselves (checking the cashier page mid-session, checking HEM or PT3, etc). In the end we can’t will our score to change (like golf, poker scoring pencils don’t have erasers either) but we can play with higher levels of concentration. Ignoring the score in our sessions helps learn more quickly from our mistakes, repeat them less, but recognize the mistakes of others more quickly.

stayed tuned for more on viewing practice at golf and poker…

As of this writing the Tiger drama has just shifted from bizarre incident full of speculation to a bizarre apology full of judgment. Assuming that the general facts do involve marital infidelity, I think the attention the drama is as much a reflection of us as it is of Tiger. Tiger, throughout his career, has always been presented as, and in many ways lived up to, a super human. Time after time we watched him achieve beyond a mere mortal’s wildest dreams all while making it look easy.

To hear of a hero in such ordinary trouble, reminds us that even at our best, we are just a bad decision away from appearing all too human. Countless observers will now recount the tales of other famous people with similar public indiscretions. And it’s these familiar scenes that has shown us that Superman is mortal. Seeing past Tiger’s protected image just shows that we are all broken people in some degree either by circumstance or by choice. This is what is truly human and familiar.

While we praise perfection and drive to pursue it, we will all eventually find it unattainable. But to look into the mirror, one constructed by our own choices, and accept our weaknesses, make proper amends, and to press on with authentic humility is as heroic and unfamiliar as any human can be.

Yep that’s me the one who prides himself at never getting sick, at home, sleeping all day, miserable.

However, just when I though I was feeling bad, I saw this….http://ballhype.com/video/keith-ballard-chops-tomas-vokoun-in-the-face/

Unreal

Yesterday was my nephews 4th birthday and we had a brief celebration at my mom and dad’s house yesterday afternoon. He is my only sisters only child, and definitely fits the category of a child wanted against some steep biological odds. Due to some complications it was highly unlikely that my sister would ever be able to have a child, and yet, with some good fortune she had Mathew (my namesake). The path to that great first birthday was full of ups and downs, with the balance tilted toward downs. Trying to start a family was, to that point, the most disappointing experience of my sister’s life. Since his birth each birthday brings some reflection on unexpected blessings and the triumph over disappointment.

The amazing thing about human experience is that when your poor fortune changes, its very hard to go back and experience the full level of disappointment you once had. On one hand, you know it was hard, but the relief of your dream realized can numb you to the previous effects of frustration. This has some parallels to thinking about results in poker.

Recently, I saw a post with the subject line that was something to the effect of “help with 12 buyin downswing”. However, if you looked closely at the graph posted there was some steep climbs and dips but the overall effect from beginning to end was a breakeven picture over a relatively small sample size. Tendencies to view our results in such a narrow and negative way show, that while the game can appear cruel, we are the most cruel to ourselves.

Imagine for a second if we viewed a real life event the way some poker players view their challenges? Take my sister for a moment, If we graphed her level of happiness about starting a family it would be a large trend downward over time with a much more brief period looking up. Would we really say that my sister observed a long emotional downswing (with a footnote about a recent short upswing)? We would never focus on the negative portions with such intensity, especially since they were largely out of our control. Sounds familiar right????

In poker, we do some curious things, we record our frustrations, we write about them, we post about them, we take graphic pictures of them and even post the for public inspection. We rarely balance that out with positive attention. So remember…

your graph (or other real life result) is only partially viewable at a moments glance

we all have a tendency to highlight the negative experiences we have, but we can control our focus about them even if we cannot control the occurrence

there are others who have felt like you do now and can, by their presence, remind you that you will survive

and sometimes we triumph, but its up to us to plan the party!

Decided to get into the blogging business, which isn’t that surprising, except to consider how long it has taken me to start one. Part of the issue for me was deciding whether I wanted to write about poker or about my general views on the world, with the intention of keeping both separate. I sometimes feel a bit unique in that I have a failry compartmentalized view on life. I am married, with 2 children, and work in management at a large non-profit. In other times I have been a high school teacher and a minister (did someone just say faith and poker in the same paragraph, crazy right?), and in the last couple of years a semi-serious card player.

These ventures don’t always blend well and I am often surprised by the reactions of work/real life folks hearing about poker as well as my poker connections about my work/real life. Part of growing up, I suppose, is about learning to tell yourself the truth. So the truth is…I am just trying to get better at life, and poker is a great metaphor for that challenge.

So what you will find here is a mix of poker strategy observations, my thoughts on the mental side of poker (and life for that matter), and some other ramblings about marriage, family, etc. All in the effort to first discover some truth but always to tell it.