May 13, 2011
I have a new "Personal Poker Policy" I wrote for myself and will share that in the second half of this entry. First i'd like to share a truly absurd story some of you may find interesting. The ordeal i'm about to share is nothing short of a classic degenerate fiasco, and I will omit nothing as I feel telling the whole story will be more self beneficial.
It all started in late April while talking to my friend over Skype. We were discussing the evolution of poker and how much the games have changed in recent years. We shared past stories of colossal win rates, and tables overrun by fish. I listened to him reminisce, and gloat of a site so bountiful, I decided I had to check it out for myself.
Our call ended, and I immediately Google'd what sounded like the promise land of online poker, a guaranteed winner. I proceeded to download the client only to realize I already had a registered screen name with the site, but I didn't recall ever playing a hand there. I finally recovered my login details, and was ready to make a small, experimental deposit. I planned to test stakes up to 200NL and decided $400 was more than enough to determine the level of play. I fired up 3 tables of 100 NL 6-max, and posted out of turn on all 3. The software was clunky and not very user friendly. It had no auto reload, nor did my hud work. I had been playing for about 5 minutes and decided I may as well add two 50 NL HU tables to get a feel for the HU traffic. I open the first one and buy-in (4 tables total at this point). I try and open a second HU table and instantly get an error message saying I am at the maximum number of tables allowed. I double checked my settings, scanned the tables to make sure everything was looking as it seemed, but nothing I did enabled me to open a 5th table. After messing around for at least 5-7 minutes, I finally got confirmation that I wasn't going insane, when a friend of mine told me that 4 tables was the maximum per player at FishHeaven.com. I thought it was almost comical that such a site even existed, and it all started to make sense. What "reg" would EVER want to play on this site? No player transfers, or auto reload, a lame VIP bonus program, and a 4 table maximum. It became clear that that bodog poker would live up to it's name.
I was uncertain whether or not I should deposit more and try the HU games for real, or wait for more reviews before depositing a useful sum of money. As I 4 tabled I browsed the site and noticed they had a casino. Now I have been known to partake in some ridiculous gambling adventures in the past, so I didn't think twice about exchanging my poker tables for a roulette wheel. I bought in for my whole balance of roughly $380, and began to do some small spins. I was playing inside, which means I was betting on individual numbers, and was betting 5-6 numbers at $5-$10 per number, costing anywhere from $15-$60 per click. Not hitting one spin It took me all of about 10 minutes to lose $360, and be down to my last measly $20 dollar bill. I slapped my mouse over the table and spazz clicked a random number until my full $20 balance was in play, and disgustedly clicked the spin button. I did not even know what number I had bet until I heard a robotic voice say " 24 Black, Player Wins!" (or something close to that) Apparently I picked number 24, the winning number, and got paid $720. I was kind of like "WTF?" for about 5 seconds, and then the excitement of having a roulette bankroll sunk in (sad). I didn't care about the $720. I was more happy that I got to spin the wheel again, and spin I did. Only this time I did not bet my usual $5-$10 per number, and started betting $20-$30 per number, up to $100-$140 a click. I was back to my initial $380 in under 5 minutes, and in a fit of roulette tilt (not as bad as poker tilt) I bet the entire $380 on four numbers, $100 on three numbers, and $80 on one number. I am not sure what four numbers I picked, but I do know I picked number 6 because that was the winning number, paying out $3600. I was stoked to get a score , and figured i'd take one last spin putting $100 on zero, and be happy to quit with $3500. As the wheel spun I was typing a brag message to a friend over Skype, when I heard the sweet sound of bodog's virtual dealer telling me I had won again. Another $3600! for a total of $7200!. I instantly decided i'd risk $700 and spin until I was at $6,500 even, then quit.
I spun the wheel a few times and before I knew it I was below my pre-determined stop mark, and was down to $5,000. I continued to spin as if I did not win anything. Each losing spin masked the fact that I had just scored a decent sum of money, and in a trance like state I continued to play. The next few hours are kind of a blur. I do remember winning a lot of spins betting the max of $100, but I have no real memory of what I was thinking (lol it was very weird), and at this point I was up over $35,000. I don't think I realized how much I was winning, because I continued to spin over, and over, and before I knew it I was up just over $50,000.
It was at this time that I realized..... HOLY FUCK.... 50K?.. STOOOOOPPP U TARD, however I did not stop, but I think I will stop this blog for now and finish the entire story in my next post. I wont say how it ended, but I will say that it did not stop on bodog... I will finish it next time tho.
I will include my poker bit on personal policy document in my next post as well..