the grind

So off to a good start, its 9 am here and I've been up for an hour, showered and ate a solid breakfast. I'm getting ready to put in a few solid hours at the tables. So I've been 15 tabling the 18s and throwing in a few 3.50 180 rebuys which has kind of just been bleeding money from my bankroll. I've had success at them before but when you're only playing a couple a day its kind of just looking to get lucky. I suppose I could keep throwing a few in every day and it would pay off but I think I'm just gonna cut them out completely and stick strictly to the 18s.

I'm still a student at university and have a near full time job so its really hard to put in as much volume as I'd like to, but I have 2 months off school now and with working about 35 hours a week I'm hoping to get a solid roll going so I can work the minimum at my job when school starts up. This shouldn't be too much of a problem if I can just find some  more discipline and stick with what I'm good at. I guess I have some degenerate tendencies that have always killed me in the past. I'd build up a solid roll, hit a downswing and off to the heads up hyper turbos it is. However I'm very proud of myself lately, for about a month I have avoided almost all of my old tilting habits. I've stopped being results oriented somewhat but it is a struggle not to check my poker tracker graph after every session.

I've slowly come to accept the fact that even two outers have to happen some of the time, its just unfortunate when it happens at the wrong time. I think that is a big thing that held me back and caused me to tilt. I would get a feeling of injustice, almost as if I've been robbed when a suckout would happen but now I just shake it off and laugh a little taking comfort in the fact that some day at a final table I will shove and get it in behind and suckout when its most important. It's just part of the game and it keeps the bad players around. 

Anyways I'm off to play a few games, wish me luck