Mission To Malta

… there was a Dude! A pretty sad and lonely Dude, who just got out of a 4 year relationship with a woman he had loved very much. He was a Dude, who was known to take these kinda things the hard way and so it was only normal that he felt like shit for quite some time. But since that Dude was not 14 anymore (in fact he was 31) and did not go through a breakup for the first time in his life, he knew better this time. He knew better than to enter into a self destructive pattern like he had been known to do in the past…

Well, even if it is pretty tough to guess, the Dude I’m referring to is myself. It is also true that I was pretty good a fucking everything in my life up badly after breakups. Once it got so bad, that after 3.5 years of still not feeling better and getting seriously suicidal I had to pay the local mental institution a visit (a visit that lasted for 11 weeks). After that I felt better, quickly got off the meds and found a new girlfriend soon thereafter. However, when you have the depression in you, it kinda never really goes away, so next breakup, next fuckup? FUCK NO!!! Not this time!

I decided that this time will be different. I conciously worked on myself from day one after the breakup and even though it’s a “2 steps forward 1 step back” kinda process, I’m feeling way better now than I would have in the same situation in my past. During that process of working on myself I also decided that I need a goal in my life. Well, the goal of having children with the woman I loved wasn’t available anymore, so I guess I decided that now I needed ANOTHER goal. “Grinding It Out” to pay the rent just wouldn’t cut it.

It had always been one of my dreams to one day leave this country (I live in germany), and now since I’m single again I don’t have to come to an agreement with anyone. I’m completely free to do whatever the fuck I want. I can spned long hours in front of my computer without anyone bitching about it and I can mvoe to wherever I want to move without considering someone else’s wishes, dreams, dayjobs etc.

I’m gonna move to Malta where the sun is shining a lot more than it does here (good for people like me with a tendency for depression) and most importantly where online poker is 100% legal. I’m gonna put in the effort that is nessecary to achieve this goal as soon as humanly possible.

This blog will track my progress towards that goal.

Sugar Nut