June 12, 2012
Lately I have been recording poker videos with Inavacuum and BalugaWhale. It was a fun expierence. I did feel kind of stupid in both but I am not going to say no if I can work with such great coaches. I have not been playing in a month now and I have been extremely busy. I can't even believe it has only been a month since my last blog post. I have had so much done that it feels like a half year, atleast. I took action. I finished everything I wanted to get finished. I have 1 month ahead where the same work ethic is needed and then it's time for vacation.
Because of both poker videos that went well I have been wondering why I never got any higher then 100nl. I did work hard at it. I had awesome (free) coaching, watched every poker video available and really put my time into studying. After some reflecting I came to the conclusion that I don't really care anymore about why I did not succeed. Reality is that I did not met my goals and I quited. The time I wanted to put into poker was not available for me anymore and I didn't want to play just a couple of hours a week so it was time to let it go. Maybe not for good, it's not the first time I went on a very long break from this game.
I left poker, something I had been doing for atleast 4 hours a day (including studying poker) for over 1 year atleast and with that, I also decided to stay away from forums as much as possible. All of a sudden I had this huge gap where I really had no clue what to do with my time. I would wake up, start working on school. Then, 4 hours later, I would take a break. In that break I looked around in my living room being totally confused and literally searching for things to do. I love working out, but that's something you can only do a couple of hours week.
This big gap was almost 1/3th of my entire 24 hour day! What the fuck!
So i had to search for things I enjoy doing besides poker. I love reading, i love movies and I love tv series... but I can't do that all day long. Besides, I also have to study for school. For school I have to read a lot too, so reading for fun was kind of impossible. If I spend too much time on reading I remember jack shit.
I worked some more for school, and some more. I hate doing nothing.
I really want to find something I can be engaged in like I was in poker. With the same passion and dedication. But, without letting it interfere with school. I could never combine school and poker. I don't know why. School is extremely important for me, so is sport. Those have stayed with me, so I will stick to that. Besides school I love giving presentations and I love writing (something I learned from workshops i had to do for school). So I think I need to search in that area. I also enjoyed being in those poker videos a lot (hope u enjoyed them aswell!), so in some way I have to admit I really like to be in the center of attention haha I don't think it's very important to learn a new skill (or build uppon a skill) that is related to what I study at the university.
It's amazing how 1 change in life can lead to changes on all fronts. It really feels like I am building a new life. I closed one door and I am searching for another door to enter. I am really excited to finish this schoolyear and to get to summer where I plan to be doing not much at all. Also super excited in finding 'my new thing'.
Good luck with poker! And stay open for other things if you feel like you are in a rut. You might just settle for less then possible while your goals already past uppon you. That comfort zone is one scary motherfucker that needs to be the enemy at all times to reach a life-level of awesomeness!