June 12, 2012
Awesomeness
Lately I have been recording poker videos with Inavacuum and BalugaWhale. It was a fun expierence. I did feel kind of stupid in both but I am not going to say no if I can work with such great coaches. I have not been playing in a month now and I have been extremely busy. I can't even believe it has only been a month since my last blog post. I have had so much done that it feels like a half year, atleast. I took action. I finished everything I wanted to get finished. I have 1 month ahead where the same work ethic is needed and then it's time for vacation.
Because of both poker videos that went well I have been wondering why I never got any higher then 100nl. I did work hard at it. I had awesome (free) coaching, watched every poker video available and really put my time into studying. After some reflecting I came to the conclusion that I don't really care anymore about why I did not succeed. Reality is that I did not met my goals and I quited. The time I wanted to put into poker was not available for me anymore and I didn't want to play just a couple of hours a week so it was time to let it go. Maybe not for good, it's not the first time I went on a very long break from this game.
I left poker, something I had been doing for atleast 4 hours a day (including studying poker) for over 1 year atleast and with that, I also decided to stay away from forums as much as possible. All of a sudden I had this huge gap where I really had no clue what to do with my time. I would wake up, start working on school. Then, 4 hours later, I would take a break. In that break I looked around in my living room being totally confused and literally searching for things to do. I love working out, but that's something you can only do a couple of hours week.
This big gap was almost 1/3th of my entire 24 hour day! What the fuck!
So i had to search for things I enjoy doing besides poker. I love reading, i love movies and I love tv series... but I can't do that all day long. Besides, I also have to study for school. For school I have to read a lot too, so reading for fun was kind of impossible. If I spend too much time on reading I remember jack shit.
I worked some more for school, and some more. I hate doing nothing.
I really want to find something I can be engaged in like I was in poker. With the same passion and dedication. But, without letting it interfere with school. I could never combine school and poker. I don't know why. School is extremely important for me, so is sport. Those have stayed with me, so I will stick to that. Besides school I love giving presentations and I love writing (something I learned from workshops i had to do for school). So I think I need to search in that area. I also enjoyed being in those poker videos a lot (hope u enjoyed them aswell!), so in some way I have to admit I really like to be in the center of attention haha I don't think it's very important to learn a new skill (or build uppon a skill) that is related to what I study at the university.
It's amazing how 1 change in life can lead to changes on all fronts. It really feels like I am building a new life. I closed one door and I am searching for another door to enter. I am really excited to finish this schoolyear and to get to summer where I plan to be doing not much at all. Also super excited in finding 'my new thing'.
Good luck with poker! And stay open for other things if you feel like you are in a rut. You might just settle for less then possible while your goals already past uppon you. That comfort zone is one scary motherfucker that needs to be the enemy at all times to reach a life-level of awesomeness!
3 Comments:
StackHunter posted on June 13, 2012 at 00:00 AM
Hi Snappie,
I have just seen your blog and read everything (took me over 30 mins, lol)the last 2 posts are absolutely fantastic. I am in a similar situation at the moment. I am a 22 year old student, finishing his engineer degree and looking for a 1.5 month traineeship in this summer (without it I can't finish my degree).
Three days ago I had a meeting with my good friend from secondary school. He moved out of there to the capital of my country and he works there as a programist. He has some basic experience in job searching and he told me that expierience is ultra important. He said that this is 'my last chance' to fill my CV with some new workplaces.
Besides doing a traineeship he advised me to look for another job during my last 7th semester. That means I would have to work and study at the same time. That also means I would have to give up poker...My 2nd biggest hobby after cars. Something I dedicated a huge chunk of my life. A passion that gave me so much fun. A beautiful game that helped me to make some money and as a result fullfil my dream - buy my first car, a BMW.
One side of my (probably my heart mostly) tells me I can't leave poker. It is my source of income and opportunities. It is a chance for buying a better car and everything I need. A big financial help. Something that shouldn't be left after putting in 4 years of huge effort. I am back at 100NL, learning poker really hard with a decent help from MagisterLudi - a player that became my inspiration (similar to Grindcore's style, 4-tabling and playing for winrate, no bonus whoring). I am a much better player now than I was one year ago, during 200NL shot (got raped there, but made a shitload of mistakes). I would like to get back to 200NL and show my real skill...
The other part of me (my brain) has some serious arguments.
a) The future of poker is in danger. Black Friday, USA is out of the game. First blood. Some new regulations and France+Italy have been separated. Double kill. Spain as well. Killing spree. Stupid regulations in Poland, treating poker as a game of luck, making it close to impossible to play this game legally in this country. Boom headshot.
And poker is getting tougher and tougher every year. Tfu, every single month. GOD LIKE!
Beating 100NL for 10 bb/100 is now very hard, if you are not really good.
b) This is the way to get a good job. I'd love to work for BMW or maybe as a trader, though here I'd have to learn everything from scratch.
So now I am facing probably one of the biggest decisions in my life.
River: (Pot: My future) 2 players
Life bets POT and is All-in, StackHunter requests TIME
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
I hope I will take the most +EV move.
cam167 posted on June 13, 2012 at 07:13 AM
Awesome post snappie, and you to Mati.
I'm myself in a similar spot, not really feeling the game the past few months, and the firm I worked for went from 30 - 6 workers within a year and a half, so I just got the boot to, and decided to start a new career as a salesman.
I'm glad for the training process poker has given me, as I can apply it in my new endeavors too. I bought some audio books, watched YouTube vids, and taking notes all the time :)
But when the family is a sleep, and I used to play poker, I don't know what to do, can't watch and listen to sales stuff all the time, so as you snappie, there's a huge gap, I feel kinda (this is sad but) empty, like I've spent soooo much time with this game, and forgot to have other things, eventhough all the coaches always said, remember to have other things on you life.
So I'm hoping to find another hobby soon too.
Good luck to both of you.
SnappieVouz posted on June 13, 2012 at 07:46 AM
Stackhunter: The question i nowadays try to ask myself are: What does my heart say? (this sounds corney but it important, what feels right a lot of the time is right), and... the second question is: What will be the decision that I can benefit from in the long run? (poker lesson all the way) .. The answers combined to those questions seems to help me. Because the answer becomes analytical and how I feel about things :)
Cam: For every door closed, another door opens. Just trust that an eye opener what you should be doing, comes to you!
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