Snappievouz

Since my traineeship is over, which I passed pretty well, I have some hours left on the day to grind a bit.

I am playing 30nl, and altho I am kind of rusty, the rustyness seem to make my game better. I am not sure what happened but I am way calmer when I am playing, I am playing solid and way more straight forward then I used to. I think it has to do with the unconsious competence sequence, it kind of makes sense that I am playing the basics (unconsious competence, i did learn something at DC) and forgot all the fancy shit (consious competence before my +/- 3 months break). I always had to think about way to much stuff because I was studying all the wrong things. Because I was studying the wrong things I took all kind of knowledge into my gaming time not even knowing when to aply what anymore.

I now play with a lot of uncertainty too, but I am uncertain about to 3-bet, to fold or to call. To open a hand or not, to c-bet or not. To cold call or not. What exactly the range is, and, how much to bet. That is pretty basic stuff and I think its way more important to keep my focus on those things, rather then thinking about creative lines, and advanced topics like balancing and meta games. I know its out there, but I don't need to focus on it at 30nl.

Now I need to spend time learning poker again, and playing. I am going for a 3 hours playing/1hour studying protocol. The challenging part for me is to really stick to the basics, which makes the coaches I am choosing to watch important. Krantz is kind of no-option. Grindcore is not (except red line ep 1, the myth)... So what is? I am not familiair anymore with the database of DC, I need to rewatch a lot to focus on the right things now.
I think I watched poker videos back then and was searching for excuses to play like I really wanted to play, which probably wasnt all that good and profitable.

I might have been good, and run bad for an entire year at the micros/small stakes, but truth to be told, I think I have been a poker player with a good basic foundation being messed up by all the fancyness and tilt that sneaked into my game. Its a different time now, and it shows in the hands I have played so far, the hands I won (mostly straight forward stuff) and the hands I lost (mostly coolers) Getting 'reads' on players, learning to note take, learning to make sound reasons every step in the hand and keeping things simple as possible is my aproach to the game since I started to play again.

3k hands so far, - 26$

Snappievouz is keeping you up to date.

There was a time where I really believed I would like to have my days packed. I was sitting at home, depressed, smoking my weed and doing nothing. Doing nothing and using drugs makes me go into my head even more and I always came to the conclusion: I really want to get busy!

On the other side, I am a big hippy. Flower power. I am 29 years old and still in school, have partied a lot, had fun with a lot of women, and have the craziest moments with my friends. I am still in school, because I never did much at all living a crazy, insane life. I should have worked harder back then, but oh well. Its all good. No biggie.

I guess I got my wish. I work from 8 till 5 at the moment with a traineeship I have to do for school and when I get home, I have to make assignments and getting busy with building websites. I train way less then before, and had to change my goals from keeping a rock solid body into a 'just doing sports for the health benefits'. I eat well to stay fit, and train whenever I can.

The money I had witdraw from my poker account after black friday is still in my bank account and I really miss poker. I miss the days where I grinded my whole evening away and studied poker obsessively. So obsessively that even my coach said I really need to chill a bit more to make poker work for me.

I never lost money with poker, but I never got higher then 100nl. I would dive into sick work ethic, just to get burned out and not play at all. Witdraw, deposit, rinse, repeat.

I find it amazing that I can be so sucked into something, completely lost in it just to find out, a year later, that my life has flipped completely in a way i would never anticipated without the thing I was so completely obsessed about. It happened with music, It happened with poker. Goal setting is great, but it seems to me life partly happens, and is completely unpredictable. I have the power of choice, and choices seem to be the most important thing on the big journey. I set goals to aim, but in the end, its about the journey.

Still, I really miss poker. There has been several times the past month where I wanted to put my money back into my poker account and start grinding again only to realise I really dont have the time to get to the grind again. Its 21.57 now and I did not have a moment for myself until I started to write this blog.

Its not to whine, because i love making progress. Its grinding, but on a different level. Its grinding, because I am working harder then ever. Getting to it, eventho I really want to chill out. Reading another page, while I really would like to play some xbox. Getting of the threadmill, because I know I still have to read or work some more. Then going to bed, only to repeat the process at 7 o clock in the morning. There was a time where I wished that I was busy for +/- 16 hours a day and I finally got to that point.

Its nothing compared to mineworkers. Its nothing compared to parents of newborn babys so fuck it. I get to it, and do it. I just really miss poker. But I can't. If I play poker, I want to grind it, hard. Playing a sick amount and really getting at it, and doing it. Impossible. But damn, I miss it.

Go grind, you low life, and enjoy it.

I am an attention whore. Got nothing to say. Have a good christmas and a blazing newyear!

I am full of shit and my life is one big rollercoaster. No shit, you say. Well, fuck you.

I have been playing poker the last few days. Here we fucking go again. The thing is, I was driving my car listening to my favorite rockband (how girly) and I had this itch that I felt like playing poker. I then realised I wanted to play poker because of poker, not because of mid stakes, high stakes or becoming the next Krantz. I just wanted to play. I deposited some money, got a good reload bonus and I have some rakeback, but I don't really care. I just wanted to play and I am going to see where it's going. Was up 3 bi's after 1 hour of playing which was a good start.

I played some more of modern warfare 3 and I unlocked my golden weapon with the PP90M1, damn that gun is FAST and AMAZING. I LOVE it.
My setup: Attachments, red dot sight and silencer .. I might change the red dot sight to get more range on the weapon, but since I am rush player in this game I dont really need more range. Played couple of matches and was done with it.

I don't want to jinx it but I also have some other stuff where I am working on which I am really excited about. If I am further in the proces I will definitely tell whats up, but for now.. I want to keep it for me. Even my girlfriend doesn't know, or my mom. It's very exciting and for some fucking weird reason I really like that nobody knows about it. Somebody with ideas why it can be important for a person to keep something they working on for themselves? Is it insecurity? What is it? I am interested. People that study psychology in the house?

Going strong with lifting weights, not adding much weight but I am training as hard as I can. I also added running to my schedule and I love that I figured out how to push myself there. Kickboxing learned me how to push trough, and it learned how to fuck around with plateaus. Thoses plateaus are often way further then you think you are capable of, but you will know it once you hit it. I love to run. Don't know why.

I dont really kickbox at the moment so I needed to do something to get my cardio up and running *zing* again.

Cool. Thats it.

Still alive. Hanging aroung with my bitches, and chilling with my bros.

I am playing  a lot of modern warfare 3 at the moment. I suck at it, but I like it so much that I just keep at it. Some battles I only have 3 kills, and some battles 12, but never more. I keep playing around with the perks, with the weapons, with the profiency, but in the end it's my aim that is the worse. The recoil doesn't make it easier and the fact that the last time I played a console was at the age of 8 neither. My 360 has been standing in the bedroom for some time without ever being touched, and now I am playing it hardcore. I am at level 58, which only says that I am playing lots of Mw3 and not so much what my level of skill is.

Who cares, I am liking it. Playing with friends, its awesome.

I am doing lots of weight lifting at the moment, and I am not becoming big, it;s not my goal. I have set the goal to be at 10% body fat next summer, which is a hard thing to accomplish for someone that loves eating. I am at 14% now. I have been eating way to little for the last year, and maybe before that too, which came as a bit of a shock. My body needs 3000kcal a day, and I wouldnt be suprised if I have been living on 1600kcal for some time now.

I have been slowly adding more kcals, but all clean foods. I can easily eat a pasta and I will be at 2500 in one meal, but to get to the 10% I need to watch my food intake better. Also going from to little to what I need will add a big layer of fat easily.

Weighing your intake is annoying, but I get used to it. I need 89g of fat, 250 of carbs and 200 of protein at the moment, and it kind of makes it a fun challenge every day to get the food in.

It's a fun goal to have, to get to 10%, but in the end I will probably just stay around the 13% when I hitted my 10%. I just want to see if I can do it.

My e-mail box makes me feel like I have been a big gambler playing poker. I get all these great offers from Poker stars and other that they really want to see me back at the tables. I have been playing 888, but the last time I saw a hand was probably weeks ago. I find it hard to find the motivation to grind. I am not making any money with it, so why play a game where I have to look at a bunch of cards falling down on my computer screen while I can blast away on the 360. Idk, maybe my poker days are over, atleast I ended up being break even :)

Why I still post here? No idea, force of habbit probably.

Week of illness where I look a lot like my mom. Monday, tuesday I took off, wensday I went back to work and got told I should go home. I did not. Fellt exhausted at the end of the day (we had to give workshops all day long). Today I went again, because we had a meeting and got told that I had to go home, this time I did.

I bought Xbox live. I bought Modern Warfare 3 and I love it. I never gamed that much but I enjoy it a lot. Have played versus some friends already and it's lot of fun, no matter how much I suck.

It probably will go a bit better in the future? Lets hope!

Now I am going to drink some tea and play some more. Yihaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Im enjoying poker again. Im such a weird guy. I could tell you I love sports, just to tell you in about a month I have not trained in months. I don't know. Sport is very consistent in my life, but poker really is not. Poker comes and goes. I think poker has found its place in my life, and I just enjoy when I play it. The big difference is that I don't need to play it.

I always felt guilt when I was not playing poker. I needed to grind. I had a great rakeback deal, so every moment I didn't put in a hand, I would lose some rakeback. I would not only lose rakeback, I would also miss the upportunity to play in a great game.

Reality kicks in the door when I realised a. I am not that good b. Am I still enjoying life as it is?

Looking back how I spend the past year, it kind of makes me sad. I have always been this very social guy with lots of friends, but the last year I only spend time at the gym doing muy thai or weight lifting or playing poker. Thank god for muy thai and thank god for the fact I am at an education where I can avoid people even if I wanted too  HUMAN resource management.

I could not let go of poker, I just could not. I worked hard but I over trained my poker brain. It never had rest, I would think about it, think about it again and after a horrible session I would think a bit more about it. In a way, I think poker is fucking dangerous. I learned about bankroll management but what if I had deposited all my money in one big tilt session and put it on the line at a HS game. The line is so fucking thing and it's unregulated as a motherfucker.

I understand 20 year old high stakes players not giving a damn about who the fish actually is, but that fish could be a father of 2, a leader of a family putting not only his own money, but also the future of his wife and kids on the line... and no regulation. No one pulling that trigger to put an end to it.

If you stay drunk in the public you will be thrown in jail for behaviour that does not fit in society, if you keep playing poker the only thing you will do is put money in the pocket of a rich 20 year old. Nobody cares.

Poker is gambling. I am sorry to say it. Yes, there is skill involved but that doesn't change the fact there is luck involved. As soon as luck is involved, gambling is involved. We are the lucky ones. We got a grip on ourselves. Not because we are so great, but only because our brain functions in a certain way that does not allow us to go to far. If we do, we get pulled back. We got lucky because we not only learned the game, but we also got lucky because we realised that bankroll management is important. We got lucky that we dont have other addictions that will throw bankroll management through the windows to hit the higher games. In sober condition ive known poker players who had to move down because of a big tilt session, now picture yourself drunk or under other drugs.

Poker is a game that is played by winners and losers, and the moment you are dealing with big bucks you are dealing with big losers. Big losers that are ruining their life to make the poker players life a bit better. We have the occasional rich lawyer that likes to game once in a while, sure. But is that the fast majority? Probably not.

In a way, it's sickening that poker players that worked hard lost their bankroll because of black friday. In a way, it's sickening that maybe thousands of people got into problems because of poker. Maybe in the end it's all for the better, grinder versus grinder, games that get tougher because the fish is dying. Makes the game more fair, the edges get smaller, but bigger for the once that want to work harder and harder.

Poker players are leaving the game because its not easy money anymore. Poker players are complaining they will never get to 400nl (not realising if they cant get to 400nl, they probably wont last very long at 400nl). Maybe it's all for the better. Poker is the sport where it doesnt matter what skill level your on, a basketball rookie can play Michael jordon, for lots of money, it does not matter.

Maybe this is turning into the new way poker is played. Not having the bankroll to play 200nl, but having the skill set to 200nl. No more fish left. Only fish in the definition where one is a lot better then the other. No more big differences in skill level.

So after being sick for a couple of days I got through season 1 of Game of thrones. There might be some spoilers, so if you still want to to see it, dont read until you see the ~ mark.

I liked it. But what is up with Sean Bean being killed? I think he was an to important character to be in killed in the series. I also hate it that he confessed. A true king like that, will not confess, not under pressure and not when being talked into nightmares. The whole serie he has shown this skill that makes man a man (being congruent and cinsere with himself) and in the end, he ends up being not the man he was during the season. I don't know, I think they could give him another season. He would have made a great king, altho I think its a pretty nice idea to have two kings now. War and shit. Lovely.

Another thing I raised my eyebrow was the scene with the baby dragos.. please. All in all, still a great series and looking forward to season 2.

Now I am going to lay on the couch watching 'how to make it in america.. can never be good. But Mitch likes it, and I loved the first episode of archer, so i will give it a try.

So great about downloading: What you hate, can be erased.

I am playing 888 poker with the poker name I_sok. Some sort of a challenge. Pretty aggro bankroll management, since I don't really care. Playing 0.06nl and just enjoying my time when I am playing. I have a strategy of playing tight, with no bluffing and folding a lot. Seem to be a winning strategy altho I got it in with QQ vs KK versus a maniac which doesn't help to get my roll up. Whatever. I got myself from penny stakes to 50nl before, and I want to see if I can do it again. HEM has a weird problem. Mucked hands are shown as AA, all the time. And I have lost 1.50$ so far, and I have been losing that for almost 1 hour. I am not complaning, only problem is that I lost more... so my hands doesn't seem to be tracked very well.

Krantz inspired me. Not with poker, but with writing. I finally started my dream of writing a novel. It's something that comes and goes, and now I finally decided i am just going to do it. I treat it like my blog on DC, if I can get 1 person that enjoys what I am writing, it was not for nothing. My blog is well viewed most of the time, so I hope atleast somebody likes what they are reading. The same goes for my book.

I just started with the first page and I dont care where it's going. I am not going to check google with 'how to write a book' nonsense. I am just going to write 1 page a day. If I do that for 200 days straight, I would have a book of 200 pages. I am planning to wring 100 pages. So that would mean I would have written my first novel within now and 3 months (+/-). The book can suck, the book can be full of grammar mistakes but I dont care. I just want to do it because it seems like I might enjoy the process and I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy. I am only 28 years old but till now I lived such a crazy life with such insane life expierences.. I think I can use a lot of it just to write. On the first page my character is going to a poker game, just saying. I am not going to make him play on-line poker.. or maybe I am. Whatever! 1 page a day, I have no fucking clue what the next page is going to look like.

Tonight I finally see my GF again so I am looking forward to a weekend of watching lots of series and/or movies. Tomorrow I have to work a bit between 10 and 3 .. but sunday I can finally sleep out. Really looking forward to it.

Alright. Going to make me some scrambled eggs now. Didn't feel like cooking :)

Games of Throne, I am at the first season, just at the beginning. I hope it's going stay as good as I know feel about the series, but it might turn out to be not as great. I have the feeling that when you get older you see the same things characters go thru. The main character Sean bean is probably going to fall of his throne to make a major comeback. I hope I am wrong, because so far I really love the series.

I have also been watching "through the wormhole", which I find fascinating. I have no clue about science, but the universe and all her mysterys, I find interesting.

I have downloaded 7 more series, and if somebody has more suggestions, please name them. First I want to keep watching Game of Thrones. I am not sure how I would enjoy a series if I also watch other series. I want to get into a series, and if I watch a couple at the same time this will not happen as much.

I also want to update my IPOD. I have been listening to the same old Jay-z albums for some time and I freaking tired of my IPOD play list. I want some relaxing car music. I listen mostly when I am on the road, so I need on the road music. I have 160 gig, so plenty of space to bomb my ipod with brand new music (new for me).

Hmm. Poker news! I deposited 50$ on 888 poker, I wonder if I could make it to 100nl within a year with such a small bankroll. I am playing 0.06 now. Its just a little challenge since I am not playing poker at all, but I do enjoyed it. I now try to get the enjoyment back and I do that by playing extremely low stakes whenever I want to play. No more grinding every day, where poker feels like a big must.