February 15, 2010
Ok I peeked at my graph - And I'm glad I did it!
So I made a vow this month not to look at my HEM graph or cashier window for the whole of February.
Well this morning I was tearing my hair out after a real grind of a session, and I just couldn’t take it any more. I had been struggling to get any traction this week, and it wasn’t all C game, I just wasn’t getting any real action spots.
I felt lost, de-motivated and confused. I needed an anchor, something to bring me back to the reasons I put myself through this. So I loaded my graph and I looked at the peaks and troughs and the final total, and it felt like coming home.
I looked at an upward trending redline, and remembered the pride I felt when I got it running flat.
I looked at the spikey blue line and remember that when I show down its always with a good hand, and I’ve usually been stung by some wierd backdoor gutshot or two pair.
And I looked at the profit and remembered that no matter how bad I think I am sometimes, I am freerolling on this bankroll, and that’s more than a lot of players can say.
So now what, having failed in my challenge not to obsess over these stats?
Well I think it was good for me. I think it was right to concentrate on the hands, not the results. I think it was right to assess each session as a single entity, each week on its own merits and the fortnight as another step on a long road.
But I also think it was good to remind myself that I am winning, and that even when the going gets tough the graph goes up in the long run.
2 Comments:
Niklius posted on February 15, 2010 at 12:15 PM
Curious; how many hands did you go without looking at your graph. I think it is a lot of fun to not look at like 5-10k and then go back over and really study what happened and remember gameflow and such.
ron0914 posted on February 15, 2010 at 22:06 PM
Em yes 5k hands. I wonder if you can setup an HEM filter for a time period or a range of hand numbers in the database...
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