June 09, 2010
Getting better every day
I guess I'm finally at the angry stage of the breakup. She sent me an email today assuming that she was going to be able to take our couches, coffee table and end tables. Well remember you left me? Plus I'm kinda looking the other way on the expenses on my visa card that technically she should pay. It's quite amazing how much of a shedevil she is being. It's crazy how much she hid this 'real' side of her for two and a half years. I was blind as a bat. She ran me over and now she is trying to back up over me. She makes a big deal of me 'not causing drama.' UMMM HELLO! Remember you told me that you were breaking up with me and refused to even talk for like a fucking week? All that time without a moment apart then BAM. Nothing. She wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't see me. The nerve she has seriously. She is worse than the normal person that only gives a damn about themselves. She disguises it by using her fake love for you then gets all she can out of you. Then she cuts you off after you have made plans to get married! I guess it was fun to get a new boyfriend, run away from your mother, move in with me, get a new house, get engaged, get a ring....etc etc etc. Must have started getting old. The normal everyday grind of being spoiled must have been a shitty life. Jesus H Christ....
Anyways, I saw a counselor last night. He was kinda creepy, but it was fine. Made me feel a whole lot better about things. Had the worst headache of the year last night. It was either from not enough sleep or because I wasn't getting enough to eat. I woke up sick as hell this morning of course, pucked up about a gallon of heartburn. The rest of the day I have been feeling fine. Been keeping busy. Took my lawn mower to get fixed by some guy my family knows. Took some boxes and shit on my porch to the dump. Ate a six inch sub at Subway. Most I have eaten in one sitting in a week. I woke up so damn early that I have everything done and all night to worry if I am going to get a headache or not. I guess I'm going out to eat with my parents and my brother and his wife. Dunno how that will go. I know I won't eat much.
I think I'm going to clean out my fridge of everything cause all of the food in there reminds me of her and it makes me not want to eat at all. We'll see. Hopefully I can get a decent amount of sleep tonight and not wake up feeling like shit. Also I'm going to try and just get outta bed when I first wake up in the morning because laying around trying to get a couple more hours of sleep makes me think about things and makes me worry and then I get more sick.Â
Probably another update tomorrow because I'm trying to find things to do. Hopefully I can get poker started soon.
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