May 18, 2010

Hey bro, thanks for reminding me I gotta sleep!

I walk in to the bathroom at 1 AM. I’m like, yeah I should go to bed before 2 AM today. I take a piss, go back in front of the computer and finish watching a video by Bond18 before I start talking to people on MSN. I’m talking to a friend of mine, and at about 1:45 AM, he says “I should go to bed, I need to get up at 7 AM”. My instant reaction was “OH SHIT, IT’S 1:45 AM LOL”. It’s 1:57 now, and I’m in a discussion about how cool Norway is compared to Sweden.

[ ] Went to bed at 2 AM.

Posted By ohjoy at 11:58 PM

0 Comments

May 16, 2010

I found this extremely funny

På tomannshånd. [NSFW]

It’s a Norwegian blog by a girl who plays chatroulette, but browse through it. There’s a lot of funny shit in there, and all the convos are in english. :D

Posted By ohjoy at 11:21 AM

0 Comments

May 12, 2010

Sick Q high call imo

Full Tilt Poker $100.00 No Limit Hold’em – 6 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BB: $104.35
UTG: $84.65
MP: $366.00
CO: $311.15
BTN: $202.00
Hero (SB): $466.40

Pre Flop: ($1.50) Hero is SB with J Club Q Heart
3 folds, BTN raises to $2.50, Hero calls $2, 1 fold

Flop: ($6.00) 9 Diamond A Diamond 8 Spade (2 players)
Hero checks, BTN bets $5.00, Hero raises to $18, BTN calls $13

Turn: ($42.00) 6 Spade (2 players)
Hero checks, BTN checks

River: ($42.00) 8 Club (2 players)
Hero checks, BTN bets $23.50, Hero calls $23.50

Final Pot: $89.00
BTN shows J Spade T Club
Hero shows J Club Q Heart
Hero wins $87.20
(Rake: $1.80)

Ship the change.

Posted By ohjoy at 03:26 PM

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May 12, 2010

[x] potlimitobama

Dealer: potlimitobama wins the pot ($39.60)
potlimitobama: ship the change

Posted By ohjoy at 02:31 AM

0 Comments

May 10, 2010

$2k day at 1/2 (((:

Hi guys. I made some money.

Posted By ohjoy at 10:16 PM

0 Comments

May 09, 2010

I am the worst loser

I’ve been doing a fair bit of losing recently. Not in poker, but in FM2010. I started a file with a ton of different leagues and I want to see where this thing is going. I started with a very low reputation in the lowest league in my home country, Norway. I started unemployed, and I think I’m in 2012 on my save. I’ve been through like 4 different teams, because they’ve all been pretty shit except for one of the teams I got during mid-season. The problem with all the mid-season teams is that they all seem to have economical problems so even if the team is good, most of the star players have to leave and then you have to bring in new guys and they have to gel etc. If you’re familiar with playing FM for more than 4 – 5 seasons, you’ll know what I’m talking about.


Digital drug. Highly addictive.

Anyways, I’ve been doing really poorly as a manager in that game, and I’ve been losing a lot of matches. Nothing riles me up more than losing. I get angry whenever my players are playing shit, and I think it’s even worse because their performance is out of my control, but then it isn’t. I don’t know what it is, but maybe it’s a feeling of incompetency? Whenever I’m playing FIFA and I fuck up, I know exactly what I did wrong. I know how to fix it. When I’m coaching kids in football, I know exactly how they can improve and how to become better players. To a certain extent, I am like that in poker as well. I know exactly where I fucked up, I know I can’t unfuck it, but I know how not to fuck up in the future. I’m not delusional and saying I’m the greatest player since POTRIPPER, I’m just saying I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on.

I don’t feel like that in FM. I feel like shit is out of my hands some times. Some times my team just drops the soap and they walk off the pitch like penguins because they’ve been fucked so hard up the ass. Whenever we drop the soap, I fucking lose it. I feel like throwing cute kittens in a grinder and just pressing go while I video tape it and play it back in slow motion to Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse. But maybe this is a good thing? If I’m losing, I’m feeling out of my element. I’m a big proponent of pushing your comfort zone, but when it comes to losing, I’d simply rather just not.


Cannibal Corpse – music to kill kittens to.

I really just wanted to post a little quote, but I decided to add a little backstory because I think it makes for an interesting read.

“I never want to be called a ‘good loser.’ Show me a good loser and I’ll just show you a loser.”
- Stu Ungar

Posted By ohjoy at 01:27 AM

0 Comments

May 02, 2010

Estoy usando mi blog!

I just made a schedule to help me keep some structure in my life although I am transitioning to the liberating profession that is online poker player. It’s going to be tough, but it’ll definitely be good for me. No more playing Football Manager in the mornings, and doing zero workout or little useful stuff for the first 4 – 5 – 20 hours of the day!

Speaking of Football Manager, do any of you guys play it? It’s like crack, but in a good way.

Posted By ohjoy at 10:50 PM

0 Comments

April 26, 2010

SO F TILTED LIEK

A lot of the people that know me know that I have some serious tilt issues. They’ve cost me a lot of money, a lot of volume and a lot of different objects that have been known to go flying through my room from time to time. It has also cost me a couple of walls, with some nice holes in them.

To me, tilt is like a creeping monster that sneaks up behind me and kind of breathes down my neck. It doesn’t just happen, it’s something that happens over time. I guess you could say it’s like slow working poison, where you first get infected and you feel fine. As the poison starts running through your veins, it starts clouding your judgment. It’s not like if someone suddenly fronts you and goes like “FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER” and pushes you in the chest. Most people would respond to this situation in a fight-or-flight manner, because the animalistic brain interprets this as a threat to their survival. Tilt is a lot more like some guy who builds trust with you and you think he’s all cool (and maybe even one of your best friends) until you suddenly find out that this guy has betrayed you – maybe he stabs you in the back? He still threatens your survival, but not as obviously as the guy who fronts you. Tilt threatens your survival, but not in the same way as having a measle pair of kings in the face of aces. You don’t snap into tilt, you sink into it.

The most common example of people tilting is when they’re running bad. Most people are able to take a couple of beats, say someone starts their session off by losing with KK to QQ and AK to AQ all-in pre-flop. Now we’re at the point of tilt. The player may continue to play good, winning poker, but as time goes, most players dwell by these results. If they now take even the slightest beat, or run into the top of someone’s range with the top of their own range and lose, you can be pretty damn sure that hell is going to be unleashed. In the simplest forms of poker lingo, tilt is the direct cause of being results oriented. Tilt is caused by variance, and variance is insanely brutal. Dealing with variance is like being a fighter going into the ring. It’s you and your opponent, and you’re fighting each other. Variance is only the blows dealt between you. The better you are, the less you’re going to be beat up, but invariably, you will get smacked the fuck down some times. Even the greatest fighters lose fights some times (durrrr vs. isildur1 is a recent example). Therefore, being in control of your tilt is the ability to keep your cool while taking a beating. You can desensitize yourself to variance, but you’re never completely cured from tilt. Your skin is just thicker, and you’re able to take more punches than before.


A pretty good fighter

I’ve been through books like Elements of Poker by Tommy Angelo and The Poker Mindset by Matthew Hilger, and I’ve also been through Joe Tall’s “Tilters’ Anonymous” program, as well as the “Eightfold Path to Poker Enlightenment” series here on DeucesCracked, by Tommy Angelo and Wayne Lively. I have learned a lot of stuff about tilt and how to think as a poker player outside of the strategic aspect of the game, but I have eventually realized that tilt is something that needs to be cured away from the table. There’s a lot of talk about “exercises” that you can do to “play your a-game”, but exercises can only do so much. Those who cure their tilt by doing exercises alone are, in my opinion, only mild cases of tilters. Their only problem is that they’re not in the right mindset when they sit down to play. In fact, I imagine that most people who are reading this, and who think they have an issue with tilt, don’t really have it too bad. This is because I imagine that most people who are reading this post are winning players, and no winning players can be insanely prone to tilt unless they’re extremely good on their best or have been extremely lucky in their past.


Tilt monkey imo. Probably extremely lucky as well.

Tilt is a mental thing, and it’s not something your logical brain can fix just by using positive affirmations or by someone telling you not to be results oriented. It’s a process that has to be internalized through changing your entire outlook on life. Most poker players I know have a completely fucked up view on life, and I am too included in this group some times. As I walk the path towards tiltlessness, I will be writing about my thoughts on the matter. If I ever feel like I have cured my tilt, or come as close as I can possibly come to it, I’ll write a book about it.

If anyone’s currently struggling with tilt, I recommend checking out the stuff previously mentioned. But before you even do that, I recommend everyone to read the book “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. I actually think Tolle is onto something in his theories, and I felt myself changing as a person while (and after) reading his book. As I was reading it, I also realized that the concepts that he introduces in the book are applicable to poker. So if you’re struggling with tilt, you should read “The Power of Now”. It will instantly help your situation. That, I promise you.

And of course, no offense to Joe Tall, I love that man. <3

Posted By ohjoy at 10:40 AM

3 Comments

April 24, 2010

The tale of Brothermouzone

The sun is shining, and outside he can hear the birds singing. “What an excellent day it is today”, he thinks to himself as he slowly gets up from his bed. His bed sheets have that comfortable feel from not having changed them in almost two weeks now. “Maybe tonight”, he thinks to himself, “unless the action is too good”. He was up all night last night, playing with the likes of MOARR, Finansen, iloveu111 and TinyTurtle. His girlfriend called last night and wanted to hang out, but brothermouzone was “too busy”, he told her. “Again?”, she asked, in disgust. “Again”, he replied. That was it for her, she had had enough of his silly little games. She dumped him via text message, but brothermouzone didn’t flinch. He was too busy playing fundamentally solid poker to worry about such trivial things as a romantic relationship. “Feelings are what causes tilt”, is the mantra brothermouzone lives by. He swore by it then – and he swears by it now.

He walks to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The kitchen is all messy with several stacks of what is mostly empty pizza boxes from the last 3 weeks of grinding and an open, half empty bag of paper plates. The smell is distinct, and vaguely familiar to most. The smell of pepperoni pizza, one of the most popular pizzas in the world. What distinguishes this pepperoni pizza smell from other pepperoni pizza smells is the aging. The smell of pepperoni pizza is like fine wine, it gets better with time. In one of the top boxes, brothermouzone finds 2 slices from yesterday’s order. He grabs a paper plate, and proceeds to walk to his office.

As he walks through the hallway, the glaring white walls are gracing his presence. He opens the door to his office. Immediately, in the corner, a black man in a suit approaches him. “Sir,” he says, bowing in the presence of brothermouzone. Brothermouzone smiles at the man, the man most would call an assistant. To brothermouzone this is not an assistant however, it’s a servant. “Let me boot your computer for you”, the servant says, and walks over to the desk. He boots the machine, and two 30" monitors come to life. “Should we do the ritual right away?”, the servant asks brothermouzone, as brothermouzone takes a seat in his black leather computer chair with adjustable height. Brothermouzone spent years adjusting the height and comfort of his chair, and now that he’s got it, he won’t let anyone else touch it. “Yes,” brothermouzone replies, “let us do the ritual”.

The servant proceeds to go to the book shelf, a shelf riddled with poker books, printed eBooks and old porno magazines from brothermouzone’s time as a teenager. He is an old man now, brothermouzone, at the age of 26. He doesn’t need pornography to be satisfied with his life anymore. The servant finds an old Bible, a King James Bible, to be specific, located between Professional No Limit Hold’em and a slightly worn version of Harrington on Hold’em, volume 1. The servant takes the Bible in his hand, and holds it out to brothermouzone. “Place your hand on the Bible now, brothermouzone”, the servant says. As brothermouzone places his hand upon the Bible, you can hear angels singing beautiful songs in the distance. “Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”, the servant asks? “I do”. “Alright. You are good to go now, brothermouzone, but may I remind you that you are under oath, so no bluffing!”, the servant says with a serious tone, almost as if brothermouzone has a little demon inside that must be contained. “Understood,” brothermouzone utters submissively. “You may leave now.”

Posted By ohjoy at 11:19 AM

0 Comments

April 22, 2010

When you gonna let me tap that?

I told myself I was going to write a blog post today. I don’t really know what to write about, so I guess this will be a short one.

I got a PM on 2+2 today, by someone who was reading through the “when you gonna let me tap that?” thread. He wanted to know how I translated “when you gonna let me tap that?” to Norwegian, because we don’t really have a “tap that” expression. We’re more blunt than that, I guess. Anyways, I had totally forgotten about this gem of a thread, and epic game. I recommend the people reading this, especially guys, to check it out and try it. Hilarity ensues.

In other news, I’ve discovered a pretty awesome band called Asking Alexandria. They’re pretty good, and they kind of sound like a mix between Burden of a Day and Attack! Attack!


Asking Alexandria

Posted By ohjoy at 11:59 AM

1 Comments


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