May 09, 2010
Iâ€™ve been doing a fair bit of losing recently. Not in poker, but in FM2010. I started a file with a ton of different leagues and I want to see where this thing is going. I started with a very low reputation in the lowest league in my home country, Norway. I started unemployed, and I think Iâ€™m in 2012 on my save. Iâ€™ve been through like 4 different teams, because theyâ€™ve all been pretty shit except for one of the teams I got during mid-season. The problem with all the mid-season teams is that they all seem to have economical problems so even if the team is good, most of the star players have to leave and then you have to bring in new guys and they have to gel etc. If youâ€™re familiar with playing FM for more than 4 â€“ 5 seasons, youâ€™ll know what Iâ€™m talking about.
Digital drug. Highly addictive.
Anyways, Iâ€™ve been doing really poorly as a manager in that game, and Iâ€™ve been losing a lot of matches. Nothing riles me up more than losing. I get angry whenever my players are playing shit, and I think itâ€™s even worse because their performance is out of my control, but then it isnâ€™t. I donâ€™t know what it is, but maybe itâ€™s a feeling of incompetency? Whenever Iâ€™m playing FIFA and I fuck up, I know exactly what I did wrong. I know how to fix it. When Iâ€™m coaching kids in football, I know exactly how they can improve and how to become better players. To a certain extent, I am like that in poker as well. I know exactly where I fucked up, I know I canâ€™t unfuck it, but I know how not to fuck up in the future. Iâ€™m not delusional and saying Iâ€™m the greatest player since POTRIPPER, Iâ€™m just saying I have a pretty good idea of whatâ€™s going on.
I donâ€™t feel like that in FM. I feel like shit is out of my hands some times. Some times my team just drops the soap and they walk off the pitch like penguins because theyâ€™ve been fucked so hard up the ass. Whenever we drop the soap, I fucking lose it. I feel like throwing cute kittens in a grinder and just pressing go while I video tape it and play it back in slow motion to Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse. But maybe this is a good thing? If Iâ€™m losing, Iâ€™m feeling out of my element. Iâ€™m a big proponent of pushing your comfort zone, but when it comes to losing, Iâ€™d simply rather just not.
Cannibal Corpse â€“ music to kill kittens to.
I really just wanted to post a little quote, but I decided to add a little backstory because I think it makes for an interesting read.
â€œI never want to be called a â€˜good loser.â€™ Show me a good loser and Iâ€™ll just show you a loser.â€
- Stu Ungar