April 16, 2010
Who am I? Itâ€™s a deep question to post on a poker blog, but I think itâ€™s important to think about this question. Itâ€™s not necessary to answer it, just to think about it. Recently I started delving deep in to the depths of myself, to figure out who I am.
Like most kids, I finished high school, and started college, or the Norwegian equivalent of it anyways. However, that wasnâ€™t a pain free process. It was the most dreadful time of my life to date. Ever since I was a kid, I have had an uncanny ability to pick up on things and learn it. So much so, that the Norwegian school system has held me back. I could probably have finished a masterâ€™s degree by the age of 18 if the school system was tailored to meâ€¦ but itâ€™s not. What can I do about it? Absolutely nothing. The one thing I can not do is sit here and feel fucking miserable about the Norwegian school system, and blame them for my apparent lethargy. It isnâ€™t really their fault, nor is it mine. Itâ€™s not anyoneâ€™s fault. Itâ€™s an â€œunfortunate chain of eventsâ€ that caused me to become smarter than the average person, yet being the rabbit racing the turtle. I used to dwell on this, but no more. Like a superhero, Iâ€™ll use my powers for good!
Using his powers for good.
I came across this new view on life after having gotten into â€œthe art of pickupâ€. This sounds like a complete cheesefest, and I have to admit that it is. Iâ€™m not going to go into detail about pickup, but Iâ€™ll go as far as to saying itâ€™s the sickest thing that has happened in my life since I started playing guitar at age 15. However, these guys who are into pickup, theyâ€™re also very much into improving as a man and improving the quality of your life, because after all, what generates attraction is who you are â€“ not what you say. This is where I found out about things like self-realization, the ego and the likes. I recently read the book â€œThe Power of Nowâ€ by Eckhart Tolle, I re-read Tao Te Ching and I re-watched movies like Matrix and Fight Club, and I was literally blown away by these books and movies. All these things are central to my new set of beliefs, my new view on life in general.
I have become aware of self-realization. I want to become the best I can be in all my endeavors. It sounds massive task, and it probably is. It takes hard work and dedication. A well-known pickup instructor said that in order to become good with women, you need three things. You need discipline, training and execution. I am ready to put in the work; I just have to detail the fields in which I want to put in said work. If you havenâ€™t figured it out by now, Iâ€™m quitting school. See my previous blog post for some more detail. The plan is to quit school, play poker for about 6 â€“ 7 months, and move to Barcelona in 2011 and live as a professional poker player. Sounds like a pretty sweet plan, yeah? I agree. How does this fit in with self-realization, which was what I started this paragraph with?
Pretty sweet plan.
The Merriam Websterâ€™s dictionary defines self-realization as â€œfulfillment by oneself of the possibilities of oneâ€™s character or personalityâ€. It sounds massive, I know, but thereâ€™s even more! Abraham Maslow, famous for the Hierarchy of Needs, also wrote extensively about self-realization. He defined the term as â€œthe impulse to convert oneself into what one is capable of beingâ€. And to finish it off, Iâ€™ll quote Wikipedia: â€œBased on Maslow, the most common meaning given to self-realization is that of psychological growth and maturation. It represents the awakening and manifestation of latent potentialities of the human being â€“ for example, ethical, esthetic, and religious experiences and activities.â€
Self-realization, to me, means becoming the best I can be at everything I do. Thatâ€™s because I am a perfectionist at heart. In the heat of battle, I do not settle for second. I am a fucking winner, and to be completely fulfilled, I have to reach my maximum potential in each and every one of my endeavors. Iâ€™m not really a dabbler; I am more of a committer. If something catches my interest, I absorb everything I find about it like a sponge. I become almost obsessed by it, and I have a strong feeling that a lot of you who are reading this are the same as me. Very rarely do I dabble in something on the surface, and I mostly end up digging deeper and deeper.
Jessica Alba also likes to dig deep.
So with this in mind, Iâ€™ll end up answering my original question. Not the â€œwho am I?â€ question, because I canâ€™t answer that now. Iâ€™m 21 years old, how can I possibly know? No, the question I can answer now is rather â€œWhat do I want with my life?â€
I want freedom to do what I want. I want to learn a multitude of languages. I want to experience a multitude of cultures. I want good memories. I want to be able to look back at my life and not have it flash before my eyes. I want to be able to get some popcorn, lay back on my deathbed and enjoy the fucking movie. Oh yeah, and I want to update this blog more often!