Palm the Joker

Couldn’t find more than one good spot at 3/6 HU NLHE today, so I decided to mix in a 1/2 HU PLO game. Villain was waiting for HU action at multiple tables, which made me prematurely tag him as a strong winning player, but I figured fuck it, it’s just 1/2 and I’m strong HU in any big bet game. Well we get into the match, and I feel like I’m playing very well. He’s a bit passive and weak-tight, and I’m making moves with good frequencies and controlling the pot well. He has a kind of hilarious leak where his button VPIP is way too low. Ship all the small blinds, please. I semi-cooler him in a couple spots that he might have overplayed a little, example AAxx v KKxx in a match that was playing pretty passive preflop.

Well he starts talking a bit of trash, saying I’m getting really lucky and whatnot. He’s right that I’m running hot, but I still think my edge was significant. He asks for more tables, which I initially refuse as I don’t want to play more than 2, but soon the 3/6 NLHE villain quits me up a little bit. PLO nit says he wants 2/4. I tell him that I’m still learning the game, which was honest but I probably should have snap-accepted given the way he was playing. I’m a chatfish, but I guess I sucked out because instead he asks “2/4 NLH then?” LOL yes please.

He expresses his dedication to 2-card spew right away with this gem of a hand:

Full Tilt Poker $2/$4 No Limit Hold’em – 2 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Hero (BTN/SB): $407.50
BB: $431.50

Pre Flop: ($6.00) Hero is BTN/SB with Q A
Hero raises to $12, BB raises to $40, Hero calls $28

Flop: ($80.00) 2 8 3 (2 players)
BB bets $66, Hero raises to $145, BB raises to $391.50 all in, Hero calls $222.50 all in

Turn: ($815.00) 7 (2 players – 2 are all in)

River: ($815.00) 5 (2 players – 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $815.00
Hero shows Q A (a flush, Ace high)
BB shows K 7 (a pair of Sevens)
Hero wins $814.50
(Rake: $0.50)

Ship it? Damn, I don’t know what I would have done if he’d won that pot. I’m on my last keyboard now, can’t break any more of those.

Rest of the NLHE match doesn’t produce anything too exciting. A little ways in I realize he’s floating my c-bets in reraised pots everytime, so I kinda shut it down. Basically he is getting too wild for me to do anything but sit back and try to catch the spew. Meanwhile, I keep grinding him down on the PLO table and he starts getting pretty tilty there too, eventually making some shove with like 10% equity versus my top set. He stacks off one last time in the unlimited betting game and snap-leaves with this chat line: “i love you.” Um, thanks? I guess he meant my plays were pretty bad, and to that I say SCOREBOARD.

Ended +~1100 in PLO and +~850 in NLHE vs this guy. About half of that subsidized my loss at 3/6, so it didn’t really end up as an amazing day, but it feels good to absolutely destroy a dude.