Road To Epistaxis

Ok, so I had a horrible day yesterday. Not only because I lost much but because I didn't play my best, lost focus, got emotionally disturbed and so on. I find this to be one of the great mysteries of poker for me and probably one ofthe largest mistakes blocking me from being a constant winner. I always come to this pot. I grind for a week or two, I win, I lose, I have an ok winrate and then suddenly one day it is like I can't win a hand, I lose everything. Yesterday I lost to quads two times in 5 minutes. Both times I sat on the best full house. One time with an Ax hand the other with AA. I had a great hand, but I did not have the nuts.

More and more I am realising what separates a big winner from a marginal winner is often not their poker abilities but their avoidance of tilt. Even though I didn't play horrible yesterday I still spew away chips in situations where I have a really good hand but clearly not the best one. I need to stop this.

Something that always comes after these days are doubt. I doubt my ability to play poker, to ever move up, to beat the stakes I play, to improve, I doubt almost everything. I can't see the path to improvement anymore. Usually I have to watch a couple of videos and the memories of the path I used to follow reappears. Anyway, this shit is disturbing as hell. It just have to stop. Reset, now.