I'm Like In/Out Burger. I Go Animal Style on these Fries.

Running awful at heads up lately. Here are some interesting hands from the match.

Started out crushing villain for about 2k. Here are some hands to show that he’s capable of being an idiot.

Hand 1

Hand 2

Hand 3

Hand 4

Hand 6
(was a bit tilty to stack off here, i like c/r and bet/fold much better than stacking off, but the point is that he’s making weird semibluffs on the turn)
Hand 7
Here he’s stacking off really light, to the point it’s -ev.
Hand 8
Pretty cool spot where I get to make a hero call

blerg.

He gets it in superbad here. Maybe a cooler, but I’m probably not stacking off much worse than AQ in this spot seeing how deep we are.

So clearly he’s very tilted and being an idiot, and capable of making retarded semibluffs. Villain is also a high stakes LHE player, so that explains a lot of the random peels and willingness to see showdown really light etc.

Here are some iffy hands, which I think are mostly still fine. A lot of these hands were near the tail end of his tilting, leading up to the QQxx hand, so I think a lot of these hands are still probably fine. But still very light stackoffs by me nonetheless.

Villain is definitely capapble of making some sort of Ahxxx semibluff here, so maybe stacking off is a bit light, but this is about the bottom of my range. Against a good player I’m def slightly ahead or way behind, but against this guy I think it’s probably close.

Given the fact that I have all the kings and villain doesn’t raise the flop, I really doubt he has a set or a flopped 2p a lot of the time, so his range is very polarized for betting the turn, and he had started checking back some of his weaker made hand combos at this point in the match. So his range on the turn is like usually straights, although I think that’s fairly unlikely since I have an 8 and 9 in my hand, and a lot of straight draws on the flop have 8s and 9s, and a ton of semibluffs, so I decided to just go w/ it.

Against a lot of players I would c/c the flop this deep and oop. As played on the turn I think bet/calling and c/ring are both pretty good options. I really hate his semibluffshove. B/c even though we’re deep, I’m not bet/folding a board this draw heavy all that often. At the worst i’m going to have some sort of gutshot/flushdraw type of thing or 2p or something, and although I’d fold a naked 2p here, a lot of the sidecards in the 2ps on this board make gutshots or have flushdraws and stuff.

I’m never folding the turn and he’s never bet/folding so I think jamming is fine. Call/calling is fine as well for the sake of balance, but I don’t think that’s applicable vs him. I also don’t think this is a very good way to play AK on the turn. It’s also tough for him to have AK b/c most of the side cards in an ace king combo have to have something to go w/ it on the flop and I have both a Q and a J.

Not much to say about this one, but another example of him getting it in super light.

My turn play is awful in this hand Bet/fold and c/r are both acceptable c/c I guess works too if I can make plays on the river, but I’m not inclined to do that vs this guy

THis one happened near the end of the match…idk..haven’t really thought about it, but I’m sure my image was plenty tilty at the time

Def a bit tilty here. Fwiw, I think the preflop isn’t that big of a mistake.

screenshot hooray:

Running god awful. Stuck about a billion buy ins to every huge fish that plays at any level. I’m stuck the most to the huuuuuuge whales from just giant coolers and suckouts, and obviously I get hit/run more than anyone else in history. The worst part is that they probably take that money out of the cash game community and put it into some gay MTT. FML.

Since the beginning of 2010, I’ve been running like shit on a site that well, I refuse to slander them, but let’s just say it rhymes with shmoker shmars. Run approximately at ev on full tilt, but eternally doomswitched on gaystars. I’ve had to do trades to keep my accounts balanced and it’s annoying. You’d think it would be awesome to have an awful looking PTR graph, and have everyone think you’re a fish. That’s what you’d think. But no, I double up the superhypermegafish and they hit/run me and I’m stuck with mediocre TAGgish regs who think I’m awful but refuse to still give me action. It’s awesome. Hit/run by fish half the time, and not getting credit for being bad at poker the other half of the time. If I ever meet Daniel Negreanu I will punch him in the vagina, just as soon as he comes out of the closet. Now, grappppphhhhhs!!!

Here’s how good I run this month on stars:

And here’s how good I run this year on stars:

GG life.

Here are some fun hands I played today

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5267430
Pretty standard cooler. Villain could have possibly checked behind here, but I think cbetting is fine.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5267432
same villain as the first hand, I think he played his hand very poorly. C/ring the flop w/ top/bottom is such a bad play on this board unless you have the right dynamic (which we didn’t), it’s not like the board is super difficult to play on future streets, and w/ the king and jack in his hand, it’s not like he has dry top/bottom. As for my play, I decided to fastplay the flop b/c it happened maybe 2 rounds after the other hand I posted. My bet sizing probablyshould be a bit smaller on the flop when in 3b his c/r, just to make it a nice balance for bluffing. In a vacuum I like slowplaying my hand vs the c/r for the most part, and I get to use the spade blockers in my hand to lower the chances of a flush coming on the turn.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5267431
Here’s a fun hand vs a bad villain who was 3b too much oop. The small preflop 3b is almost never AAxx, so I feel like RR is super profitable as there are going to be a ton of flops that either make me or where I get to cbet and get a fold. Once the flop comes my hand plays itself. I really hate his play though. Calling the 4b is bad w/ his hand, and c/shoving this flop is really bad. This is the best case scenario for him tbh, and he’s not making me fold better hands.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5267478
I got berated for this hand. Although maybe a bit nitty I really like the way I play the hand. I don’t really feel the need to protect the flop, and doubt there are many hands that don’t cbet that can call on this flop. I suppose if he’s balanced when he checks he’s going to have AAJx and Q9xx and some rando traps once in awhile, but most people aren’t balanced. Once the turn comes and he checks again and doesn’t stab he usually has some sort of showdown value, and probably will call a bet some sort of a queen. River is nice for filling up the backseat w/ goldbars to go to valuetown.

I recently watched There Will Be Blood. It’s about a rising oil driller in the 1800s. During one scene he says:

I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone. I see the worst in people. I don’t need to look past seeing them to get all I need. (abridged)

This is pretty much exactly how I feel about people, and poker.

/emorant

mmmmmmmshallowtables. I’m surprised how many people hate playing shortstacks. They’re so bad. And now that full tilt has a special place for all the shortstackers to congregate, it’s probably made the full tables a bit tougher. Let everyone else play 100bbs, I follow the money.

Had to call it an early day. This is why:

I put in a lot of volume in the first couple weeks of Feb. I played well, but things didn’t really go my way, kind of the way things go in PLO sometimes:

After I ran poorly for the first 30k hands or so, I decided that for my long term winrate it would be a good idea to take some time off.

My timing wasn’t so great, as it snowed for like a week straight in Colorado, and I was stuck inside playing Mass Effect 2 (which is a badass game), and eating junk food (which I’ll expand upon later), not exercising, eating more junk food in live games, and losing my ass out. I didn’t really put in too much volume online until the last 5-6 days or so, where I finally pulled out of my funk.

The weather has really put me in a downer mood to be honest, there has been snow on the ground for the last five months and it’s a pain in the ass. I usually like to have a walk sometime around noon or a bike ride or some sort of activity outside. I’ve probably turned into a pale gollum (smeagol?) version of myself, picking my nose in front of the computer, watching shitty movies ankle deep in discarded pepperidge farm cookie sleeves.

Speaking of pepperidge farm cookies, man, they are the goddamn devil. When I walk past the cookie aisle I get that cold feeling that alcoholics must get when they walk past a bar. Add the word “sale” in there, and I’m exactly that, sold. Then happy, then satisfied, then sleepy. But it’s too damn cold out to give a shit. And since I’ve stopped drinking to excess food is what I’ve got.

Look into the face of the abyss:

I also recently saw The Book of Eli. Man, christians and their bibles. If you haven’t seen it, wait for it to come on HBO. It’s not worth $7, or $6.50 if you still use your student discount like I do. Here’s my synopsis:

Denzel Washington is on a mission “from God” with the last bible on earth in his posession in a post apocalyptic wasteland. Along the way Gary Oldman tries to stop him and he gets a couple of cannibals killed. He doesn’t have sex with Mila Kunis and listens to an ipod somehow. Eventually despite his self proclaimed protection from God he gets shot, the way all christian should be, and Gary Oldman finally gets his hands on the bible. Denzel survives for awhile but makes it to san francisco where there are a bunch of people are preserving books and shit on Alkatraz, where we find the plot twist. ZOMG Denzel is blind! GOD made it possible for him to kick ass and not trip over stairs! The bible Gary Oldman now has is written in braille, and denzel dies while reciting the bible to the dudes in Alkatraz. The movie ends with Mila Kunis, who somehow stayed alive throughout the whole movie leaving listening to Denzel’s ipod, presumably rocking out to Earth, Wind and Fire, to spread the message of God, and probably end up being raped by cannibals.

CLIFFS NOTES: DENZEL IS BLIND. CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY.

If you want a post apocalyptic movie that doesn’t have its head stuck up it’s own ass, watch Zombieland.

I’ve kept my word to improve my work ethic and put in the hands/hours and keep my body healthy. I recently accepted a prop bet requiring me to play 65khands/186hrs of poker in february to motivate myself further.

This week, I’ve gone to the gym every other day (did some rock climbing) and I haven’t gone that often in awhile. My forearms are sore, and my hands feel like tenderized pork chops. It’s an ok feeling. I’d rather spend my 10:30-noon being asleep, or eating pepperidge farm milanos watching jersey shore, which what i usually had scheduled.

On the poker front, I’ve played pretty good so far in Feb, but I’m running like tenderized pork chops (see what I did there? Full circle). I did play one bad session, and I suppose I’ve had a spewy hand or two while dswinging, but I’m very happy with my overall game, and state of mind/tilt factor. One thing that sucks about running bad on a bunch of tables is that it’s very difficult to win pots without showdown, and the ~breakeven redline that you’ve worked so hard to get just goes down in flames.

Here’s a hand where I played awesome, and got owned

Screenshots/Graphs:

I’ve been slacking lately. Last month I only played 30k hands or so, a hideously low amount of hands to play, for someone who plays ssplo for a living. So, My new years resolution is to focus harder on poker and robusto my bankroll. In order to revitalize my work ethic, here are some concrete goals I have in mind:

POKER
-Work 5-6 days a week (minimum 40hrs)
-play 75k hands/month

LIFE BALANCING
-Go to the gym 4x/week minimum
-Eat right
-Go Out 1-2x/week (to not be a recluse/hermit/fish w/o social skills)

Yes, I realize how hypocritical it is to procrastinate and make new years resolution post at the end of January, but I’m turning a new leaf. I’ll post updates every week or two and have a monthly recap.

I tried to make a prop bet that I couldn’t play 180hrs and 65k hands in 4 weeks, but I had no takers.

Here’s a good song I’ve been listening to:
Jamie T – Sticks and Stones