March 09, 2012
i feel certain this happens to everyone in their poker career at some point.
off to a good start in march, playin some $3.50 and $7 headsup sngs and a few $2.50 180s. with a couple hundred dollars profit........
then on tues nite after a 6 hour session with a final table at a $3.50 180 man rebuy coming up short for 6th and a 14/3600+ players close call in a $5.40 turbo knockout i decided to play some more, so with the $120 in my stars account i start playing some $3.50 headsup sngs, i get off to a bad start and lose a few buyins then try to win them back and play a few $7 (great bankroll management i know) needless to say an hour later i have $60 in my acocunt. good point to walk away and come back to fight another day. well it would have been, i played some 25nl headsup cash games and needless to say went broke in the amount of time it would take to take a s***.
of course that is a sure sign to call it a night at 1.30am with work in 7 hours but i no i decided to throw 1 last £10 into the account and then call it a nite. so with my $15 i fired up a $7 husng and hoped to turn it around, i played through the nite and switched off me laptop at 6.30am having built the $15 up to $65 and set my alarm for 8.30am for work. i considered myself lucky to have dug myself out of the small hole then at lunch time in work procedded to build my roll further to $125. damage repaired and all i could think of was work finishing and gettin home to catch up with my sleep !!
so i got home from work and my gf called down and left around 8pm. with my alarm set for 6.00am for an exercise class friday morning its now finally time to catch up with my missed sleep from the previous nite - but no - i will play a couple of husngs before bed.... needless to say i was a zombie and proceeded to throw all my money away with little chance of winning i wasnt even capable of concentrating and making simple decisions.
so from feeling good about my game to getting crushed to pulling it back to playing like an idiot i experienced alot of different poker related emotions in a 36 hour period. i do withdraw small amounts every couple of weeks to help with my day to day outgoings but losing the money obv wont hurt me in my overall finances - but it has hurt my pride and that can be more painful!
so wat to do from here.... get back on the horse i say. work finishes at 5pm, from 6 pm i will be back to my bread and butter 6 tabling $2.50 180s in an effort to make back my losses and have set aside all day sat as well. i wrote this blog to remind myself of the anguish i felt and as a warning against going on tilt in the future, but it really made me think - if this is how i felt on a thurs nite after dumping $120 onto the tables - how would the highstakes players feel after dumping $500k at the tables.......Wow
Thanks for reading - feel free to comment - we have all been there before im sure !!