That buck that bought a bottle could've struck the lotto

Yuck, I don’t even feel like playing poker anymore. I handle 5-10 BI downswings quite well I think. Especially when I have little winning sessions here or there shortly after. What I do not handle well are continuous losses, 10-20k hands or more. I just play worse and worse. I can only tell my brain “today I’ll win, I know it.” for so long before I realize I’m just BS’ing myself.

Half this is 200 NL, so it’s only about 12-13 BI’s, but since I’m used to 100NL it feels like 20+. It’s obvious I’m running bad with the EV and like 44% W$SD over 15k. It’s also obvious that I could never play this game professionally if I get upset over this little bit of losing.

I was definitely tilting for some of this. Not crazy monkey let’s play 5-10 tilt, just bad play tilt.

I set goals to review my play but I rarely do. I don’t know why I like to make things more difficult than they are. It’s pretty simple, study past hands=get better, yet I fail hard. So from now on I’m not setting anymore volume goals. I’m gonna play once I have reviewed all my significat hands from previous sessions, am not tired, and in a good mood to play poker. If this means only 25k hands a month than that’s fine. At least I’ll be having fun playing cards, thinking through hands and not mindlessly grinding/on half retard tilt and looking at my graph every 10 minutes.

“Mind was a sponge, but now it’s Sham-Wow” Lupe is growing on me, can’t lie, lyrics are ill, sample is flipped meh Gonna rock songs like this and run like 6-8 miles tomorrow or until I catch a little buzz, usually like mile 4.5.