http://www.deucescracked.com/blogs/imill

Ok so basically there isn't a dull moment in my life lately.  I just wish there was more positive moments.  I started feeling pretty ill over the weekend flaring up a couple of times a day and being very tired.  My face was getting more swollen and crusted by the day forcing me to take a train to Manhattan for an emergency appointment.  I'm glad I took action as soon as I did because I have a staph infection in my face.  The real scary part is about 2 years ago I had MRSA so I'm scared of going through that process all over again, especially knowing the more dangers it can cause.  My blood pressure was high which can be a result of my medication or stress from the pain.  I will be seeing my doctor next week about that.  If there is a problem then I'll be prescribed meds for it.  This makes me regret playing a few nights back when I was a mess and couldn't sleep so I decided to distract myself with poker and dropped 6 buy ins in 30 minutes.  Ugh!  So my one tax return came in this week so there's the car money I needed.  I ran around with my friends like a lunatic getting the money wired and the proper paperwork.  Everything was cleared today and then I found out where my car is...Connecticut!  It's a 3-4 hour drive pending traffic and the only hours I can pick it up is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 830am-3pm and Friday 830am-1pm.  Fucking ridiculous oh plus another $161 in fees and I have to go to the DMV because my plates were destroyed.  Give me a fucking break.  The plan now is to get the car, trade in for a wash and take a lease which at minimum will cut my monthly in half.  FML.

Well I didn't make what I definitely had a chance to make but I did receive good news from Nissan.  According to the letter I only need to pay $2172 with a 15 day period from date of issued letter which is Feb. 25.  That means the last day I have to pay this is Saturday March 12 which is awesome.  Before I post my last graph and total I wanted to ask for honest opinions.  I've been very honest about my situation and my graphs.  Any of you other poker players have any similarities in graphs?  What I'm trying to ask is do you have a high BB/100 winrate of 30BB/100+ and equally lose just as much?  I hear over and over again good players win at 3-5BB/100.  I just can't seem to grasp that.  I think I have to develop a system to track in short periods of time what I'm actually winning at.  I don't think I realize how much I win/lose in a frame of time.  You can answer me openly or PM me.  I really think I have some talent to be able to take my game up a notch but I might need to work on a coach to stop the spew nonsense.  One thing I've learned is that this is not an easy feat.  Unfortunately all I got was backlash, malice, and criticism.  Even during my worse not even a, "hey man no biggie.  Clear your head and make the correct play every time without being result oriented.  Know when you're playing your 'A' game."  I would just like to say thank you for making me try harder.  Though I didn't reach my goal I know it's definitely possible...for me at least.  I'm interested in seeing what happens in the next couple of weeks.  Stick around.  You might learn to like me.  Deuces.

Winnings $333.35 Bonus-$100  Rakeback-$277.18  Total-$710.53  Goal-$1400  Difference -$689.47 

Just trying to clear my head.  Need to forget about yesterday.  Having a sweat session tomorrow.  I do have some good news.  A friend of mine is loaning me $300 so that definitely helps me out.  Takes some weight off my shoulders.

So today (tuesday) I had to go to Manhattan to see a doctor who was going to do more extensive food testing on me.  To make a long story short, she wasted my whole day asking me questions about something totally irrelevant and came up with a prognosis that if she were to take 5 minutes to read my medical records she would have seen I already tried it 2.5 years ago and it didn't work.  And I'm out $500.  Soooo......I get home and fire up some tables.  Some days you need to just take a day off.

I'm beginning to get embarrassed when I post these epic fails.  I hope somebody is paying attention and maybe see some potential here.  I posted some questionable hands and probably should put another one or 2 up but it's late and I'm mad tired since I haven't slept in the past 3 days.  Seeing a different specialist tomorrow to take another test.  As much as I'm taking poker and this challenge seriously I would trade it all to find answers to live a happy life.  Deuces.

This is the reason why I'm still at 50NL.  I get anxious and tilt and it's the same old story.  Today had all the makings of an epic session and I can't grasp it.  After the first big drop I took a break for a few hrs had dinner, etc.  Then I come back and make a great all in flop call, and loose.  Then I get it all in again w/AQ against an aggro blind, run into KK.  And so it begins.  I finally calm down and get a hold of myself and talk my way through it and things start to get better.  Here is the hand against a fish that I feel awful about and turned off the computer right away.

Full Tilt Poker $50.00 No Limit Hold'em - 4 players - View hand 1205460
DeucesCracked Poker Videos Hand History Converter

SB: $50.25
BB: $102.60
CO: $35.00
Hero (BTN): $173.75

CO posts a big blind ($0.50)

Pre Flop: ($1.25) Hero is BTN with K K
CO raises to $1, Hero raises to $4, 1 fold, BB calls $3.50, 1 fold

Flop: ($9.25) J Q 6(2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $6.50, BB raises to $28.75, Hero raises to $169.75, BB calls $69.85 all in

Turn: ($206.45) T(2 players - 1 is all in)

River: ($206.45) 2(2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $206.45
BB shows J Q
Hero shows K K
BB wins $204.45
(Rake: $2.00)

I am my worst enemy.  Tomorrow is another day.  Deuces. 

A part of me should be upset for throwing a minimum of 2 buy ins early preflop w/suited gap connectors.  It's like no one can fold aces anymore preflop?  Really?  Anyway my early morning session ended on a positive note.  My night session was stuck in neutral for the most part but I finally was able to break through.  I played 5k hands today and made +4k in FPP.  5k more and I can buy a $100 bonus. Here are a few hands I noted.

This was against a player I was owning in 3 bet pots.

Full Tilt Poker $50.00 No Limit Hold'em - 6 players - View hand 1203953

DeucesCracked Poker Videos Hand History Converter

CO: $51.25
BTN: $51.10
SB: $49.10
Hero (BB): $95.00
UTG: $103.40
MP: $52.55

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BB with K Q
3 folds, BTN raises to $1.75, 1 fold, Hero raises to $5.50, BTN raises to $13.50, Hero calls $8

Flop: ($27.25) T J 7(2 players)
Hero checks, BTN checks

Turn: ($27.25) 6(2 players)
Hero bets $81.50, BTN calls $37.60 all in

River: ($102.45) 2(2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $102.45
BTN shows K A
Hero shows K Q
BTN wins $99.45
(Rake: $3.00)

This was a straight cooler

Full Tilt Poker $50.00 No Limit Hold'em - 6 players - View hand 1203940

DeucesCracked Poker Videos Hand History Converter

BB: $63.25
UTG: $38.50
MP: $64.20
CO: $109.50
Hero (BTN): $83.80
SB: $50.25

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BTN with J A
UTG calls $0.50, 2 folds, Hero raises to $2, 2 folds, UTG calls $1.50

Flop: ($4.75) J Q K(2 players)
UTG checks, Hero bets $3.50, UTG calls $3.50

Turn: ($11.75) T(2 players)
UTG checks, Hero bets $9.50, UTG raises to $19, Hero raises to $68.75, UTG calls $14 all in

River: ($77.75) Q(2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $77.75
UTG shows T 9
Hero shows J A
UTG wins $74.75
(Rake: $3.

Tough call against fish

Full Tilt Poker $50.00 No Limit Hold'em - 6 players - View hand 1203942
DeucesCracked Poker Videos Hand History Converter

UTG: $50.00
MP: $102.05
CO: $62.95
Hero (BTN): $50.00
SB: $86.60
BB: $57.00

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BTN with 9 A
3 folds, Hero raises to $1.50, SB raises to $5, 1 fold, Hero calls $3.50

Flop: ($10.50) A 8 5(2 players)
SB bets $10.50, Hero calls $10.50

Turn: ($31.50) 2(2 players)
SB bets $71.10, Hero calls $34.50 all in

River: ($100.50) Q(2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $100.50
Hero shows 9 A
SB shows 7 Q
Hero wins $97.50
(Rake: $3.00)

$761 to go.  I can do this.  Just make the most optimal play and don't be afraid to make a timely move.  Hope ya'll are enjoying the action.  I'll breathe better when my car is back in the garage. BTW I'm starting a 50-100NL group link is here http://www.deucescracked.com/forums/28-Secret-HQ/topics/353251-50-100NL-6max-Poker-Group?page=0&per_page=15#post_2964831  Deuces. 

Ok so 3am thursday morning my car alarm goes off and when I ran outside to my surprise it was being towed away.  If ya'll been keeping up you should understand my situation that I'm in the middle of selling my shares (price agreed on) waiting on my 2009 tax return done a little more then 2 weeks ago, just did 2010 corporate taxes so now I can file my personal, will be lucky to see any social security disability benefits by March 2012, and I can't work.  Talk about stress.  So I went straight to poker.  Here's the challenge.  I need to make $1400 by friday march 4th or they auction it away sticking me with whatever the difference is between the sale and what's owed to the bank.   What this means is I basically have to double my bankroll in a week.  My family is not supporting me because they think I gambled all my money away which is not true.  My mother is linked to my account and can see where everything is coming and going. I'm posting this challenge to gain fellow DC support and hopefully with your help get word to the higher ups.  I'm going to need help getting my money ASAP and we all know how processors are nowadays so the goal is to make the money and if someone is willing, for me to transfer the money via Full Tilt in exchange for a bank transfer.  I will be posting daily progress and some hand histories.  Please roll with a Don and fly with me.  Deuces.

I just so happen to not be able to sleep (again) and decide to watch something on hulu except I have nothing in cue.  As I scroll down under movies I see Gamers and decide to check it out.  This just blew my mind!  It's a documentary about the world of MMO and how largely popular it is world wide.  They interview players, friends of players, studios, game designers, psychologists, and anything to relate to the virtual world of a 400 billion dollar business.  The similarity between the two subcultures is amazing.  You can check it out here.http://www.hulu.com/watch/215576/gamers

So I can't sleep because I'm so damn itchy I realized I suck at keeping up with the "weekly blogging."  Anyway a lot of things have been going on here.  First off I am beginning to realize that when I start having my "episodes" it really effects my poker and I know that more now because of a recent discovery I have made.  My illness may be linked to fungi in the body.  This is best explained at http://knowthecause.com/  So I've been trying to get all of that information and began the candida diet which can be found here http://www.thecandidadiet.com  It's been 11 day and everyone including myself has seen improvement.  Now back to when I play really bad poker.  A few nights ago I was 10 times worse then I am right now and basically dropped 9 BI's like it's hoooot dropped 9 BI's like it's hoooot.  So bad that I really don't remember playing.  Hopefully this diet will finally lead to some answers so I can live a kick-ass life.

A friend of mine is interested in going into business with me which I applaud him.  We both think similarly and understand job security is uncertain and the only real american way to get out of life is to create,own and build businesses and gain great capital so we can be inside investors.  As of this week my attorney is going over a buy out contract and by March I will no longer be associated with the steak house.  It's not the total end.  I've gained so much knowledge and experience that I now have the confidence to set out and start something new and fresh.  I've already looked into 2 vacant spaces and am actually going to see a closed restaurant for sale this Tuesday.  

On some fun music ish I'm letting you in on what should become the next phenom in hip hop.  He's been doing his thing on youtube for the last 3 years and just this past month he's been in NY talking to labels and on Shady45.  He is musically and lyrically talented and his twin brother is a beast as well.  Check out Wax and don't be afraid to comment.  I love all feedback.