June 25, 2009

Gauss Goes to Vegas

So I wanted to set out some of the things I saw in Vegas recentlly, before I forget how funny some of it was.

First I played with a hedonistic nutjob at Venitian. This guy had a big ol Bahamas type hat, and sandals. His nails were long and grizzled. He was a nice enough guy, but listen to what he broke out and put on the poker table: a big box of Good and Plenty, a box of Andes Mints, a tub of salted almonds, three kinds of flavored chocolate, a tin of aspirin, coca leaves (ya, coca leaves) and a few drinks to wash it all down with. He ate constantly to the point that the cards were getting marked with his food remnants and the dealers made him put this grocery store on a cart. Then he would flirt with all the ladies, and Im thinking, dude, no woman is going to let you near her with those inch long dirty, nasty fingernails. How can some dudes not see that? If your fingernails are an inch long, AND dirty, how are you going to ever be with a woman? I just dont understand how some cats dont get that. lol poor hygineaments.

Then I got yellled at by a hooker. Hey where you staying. Balleys? why dont you and me go back to Balleys? So I say, “no thank you, I dont think thats a good idea”. So this hooker looks at me, thinks about it, then yells “Stupid!” at me and storms off. Its not like I got involved in her day and wasted her time, she tracked me down, got all up in my business, and then yells at me. w.t.f. Anyway, lol hookeraments.

Then, after playing at Bellagio and Mirage I would wind down with some 3,6 limit at Balleys, and I met the person who is quite possibly the worst poker player on the Planet. This guy was Indian and didnt really understand the game or English. Over three days I personally saw him dump about three K at 3,6 limit. Three large! Impossible at 3,6 you say? No, for reals, he would raise and call down every hand he played, then flip over 8,2 offsuit on a KJA board. He was horrible, it was like he mainlined mescaline. It seemed he had no concept that poker was a skill game, and thought that the correct way to play is to bet and raise and call every hand to the river. He would rebuy for $100 about twice an hour, and played day after day. loldonkaments.

Im not sure its funny, but the antics at Bellagio were notable. first off, this joint was crowded, real crowded. I played some 20,40 stud, some 15,30 LHE and some 4,8 holdem. Basically most of the people I played with were total tools. Yelling at dealers, arguing, criticizing….. It was like an adult nursury school. Roll back the clock thirty years and these people have progessed very little, arguing over blocks and crayons, biting each other and whining and crying everytime they lose a hand. I may not be the best poker player in the world, but I got the emotional aspect of the game down much better than these infants, Ill tell you that fo sho. The place was basically too crowded and hostile. Just a brutal environment, but interesting. One thing about the Bellagio is that the tables are too close together and your chair gets jostled constantly which I can not tolerate, particularly if I am in a hand. lol infantaments.

Oh, and then there was the octegenarian angling. Never play stud with anyone over sixty. My last trip to Vegas was in December, and I met some very nice older people at Bellagio and got talking to them. They all told me they rarely come to Vegas, they are visiting family etc. etc. Guess who I see when I come back to this 20/40 stud game six months later? The same old people, in the same game, in the same damn seats! WTF. I can see your a good stud player, and if you tell me you don’t play often Im still not taking a pair of dueces to the river, why you got to angle on me oldstuff? anyways, are they good people? yes. are they genuinely nice people? yes. but are they poker players first? yes. lol octegenarianaments.

Poker did not go very well. I lost a little and was disappointed. I play mostly limit, and did not get very many good hands. When I did get hands, I got paid handsomely in value town. But all in all I think I played allright, just not very good cards which happens. I think a lot of my losses came from rake and blinds. Maybe i played too tight but I dont think I was folding winners, a lot of hands were getting shown down and I was clearly right to fold. Just bad cards, that’s limit, it happens and I hope I can say that a worse player would have lost more with my cards. anyways there is always tommorrow.

Luckily for me, I found some real good decks at blackjack and was able to make up my poker losses. At least three times on a $15 table the count went to plus twelve or more I (basic hi/lo counting system) and I was able to increase my betting and take down some big wins. Once I hit an 11 on a dealer 5 and was able to double down for over $200 win. Everything else I touched also turned to gold. Like I would sit down at slots to kill some time and win $150 betting .50 cents when some stupid bounus got triggered. Anyways, I study poker all the time and had to travel 1000 miles to lose at that and get lucky at other things (allthough the blackjack winning was not luck). lol cardcoutingaments.

Some other cool things went on. Went to 6/19 PRR show and met Seebs, Stapes and Timtern. Shook Bear’s hand at Bellagio. Saw tons of stars. I played a tourney at the Golden Nugget and got it all in on a flush draw and lost with forty players left. Still a good risk I think to try to double up and have a real shot. I also played some limit at Golden Nugget, and was impressed at how chill the dealers were compared to the strip places. Totally different environment and vibe, much more relaxed and friendly.

Other notable things that went on were watching the smoking hot women in vegas. God damn. thats all I got to say. God damn you are en fuego ladies. Vegas is the best and the worst all at the same time, right? You got guys eating fanstastic food and gambling for hundreds of thousands of dollars, and right outside some poor bast%#4d is getting paid $5 an hour to hand out girlie flyers in 100 degree plus heat. I saw a cat in what was once a nice suit, passed out in a bush with a cigarette burned down to his knuckles, busted dreams.

anyways, like they say, Vegas is either the greatest place on earth or the worst, it depends how you look at it. Peace.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY13Qpo532Q
more http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxL_n…eature=related at 2:40 Lisa Fischer, shes a brick…House.

Posted By Gauss at 05:53 AM

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Gauss