Gauss Blog, Never Surrender. Never.

 

 

 

 

Tonight I spent about 7 hours in five or so casinos here in Colorado. Didnt place a single bet, no poker, no slots not one penny, even at blackjack. Some friends were going and I felt I needed to get out of the house but cannot afford to waste any money atm. So I decided to go and see what was what NOT playing.

 

I only confirmed what we already know. Casinos are sad places. These slot machine denzians are out of their minds. I feel bad for them, because its obvious that many of them are so bad off physicaly, and mentally, that you can see how they might want to play slots, just because its something they can do. It doesnt require any thought or physical ability. They are diabetic, on oxygen, shuffling from machine to machine with a grim visage upon their wrikled mugs.

 

Is that all there is for them? Hoping that tonight is the night they win big. Even if they won say 5k, would that make up for all those days where they lost? Its really pretty horrible. It would be different if you felt they could afford it, but its obvious from their clothes that they cannot. I have talked to a few people who like slots until Im blue in the face about poker, or even blackjack, about developing some interest in a game where they have some chance. They just dont get it. For them its the slot machine, thats all there is. They dont even try poker. Such a waste. I really feel every single slot player should switch to poker. Its a better game, more fun, and the odds are better, by orders of magnitude. I am disappointed I have never been able to convert a slot player. Not once. I havent even gotten them into blackjack, where you can play at an edge if you are halfway interested in a bit of study, or at a very small disadvantage if your willing to learn basic strategy. They just wont switch. That occasional jackpot is enough to keep them chasing a false dream.

 

I may suck at poker and never be a winning player, but at least I have a chance, there is hope. These people have no hope, or maybe its best to say they have false hope.

 

I have played slots, very casually in the past, but I think Im done with that, I dont want any part of it. All of vegas is built on those buzzing, beeping, electronic money hogs. Its a pretty ****ed up thing. How many starving children could have been fed, or diseases cured with that money. Poker is a wonderful game full of strategy and skill, its nothing like a slot machine at all. Those machines dont even employ many people, there is no dealer being employed as in blackjack or poker. Its apples and oranges, two totatlly different things.

 

As for myself I cannot afford poker atm. Not even 25nl. Had to cash out for real life needs. I am really fine. I sort of miss the game but Ive always know I dont really have alot of gamble in me. When I win at poker I like to think I played well, over a period of time, that I made better decisions than my opponents. I had no problem sitting in a casino for 7 hours and not betting, that thrill of risk is NOT what im after. Not at all. I think thats a good thing. Its like when I used to count cards at blackjack, the thrill was when a winning session was over, knowing I had kept the count and given myself a good chance to win provided the thirll. The anticipation of waiting for a card to fall is not what gets me off. Never has and I think thats a good thing. I know alot of very good poker players have alot of gamble in them, and DO get that thrill. I do not, quite to the contrary I dont like risk or get a thrill from it. I like thinking about how to minimize risk, thats what drives me.

 

Anyway, I sat there for seven hours and watched all of this degenerate sadness, I even had a $100 cash on me, but didnt feel the urge to place one single bet. So I think thats good. I have played alot of online poker over the last few years and this is the first time Ive been away from it, I was wondering if somehow I had gotten myself addicted to it. I really dont think so, Ill come back when the time is right and I can afford it, whenever that is, I feel no urge to gamble and thats a good thing.

 

 

 

 

Surrender!

 

Life gets in the way and Im going to have to cash out and take break from the pokers. I only have less than 1k online but I sort of need that money for something at the moment. So its not surrender, its retreat and regroup. Im not giving up on my dream of becoming a winning mid stakes player, just taking a break.

 

I have played ALOT of poker since I started about two years ago. This break which should last a month or so should allow me to answer some interesting questions about myself and my play. Am I addicted to online poker? I dont think so, but an enforced break of a month should allow me to look at how I react to not being able to play. This is most likely a good thing.

 

We are talking $2 HU sngs, 25nl, and 10plo here, so even if I am addicted, whatever tha means, we dont have a serious financial issue. I am interested in wether, or the extent to which,  the online poker has interfered with my normal day to day activities and interpersonal relationships. Allthough the money at my stakes is not significant, the time certainly is, so Im looking forward to seeing what develops, even though Im sure that Ill be wanting to play.

 

So there is a real world out there, and a little break might be in order. The amount I had to play to clear my $325 bonus at FT was just ridiculous and I was really not enjoying myself. I look forward to coming back to the games with a fresh perspective in about a month. Just because I cannot play does not mean I cannot continue to study the game

 

Thats it for now, as always keep your cheeks tight people.

July 2o1o Quality Control.

 

You know, with all my study and good intentions, sometimes Im not sure that all of the hands I play involve quality decisions. While better than past results, my bankroll is nowhere near where I want it to be, and I think the poorly played hands, the hands played on autopilot and while tired may have something to do with it. I know Im more than bright enough to beat these games, the issue I think is quality control.

 

So once again its time to rededicate myself to improvement. I think I will set strict session time limits on myself to ensure that less of my hands are played badly. Its though to sit for many hours and have the 2ooth hand be played with the same focus as the first.

 

Currently Im grinding Rush week and FT mid year bonus, so alot of hands have to be played to take advantage of the bonuses, but I have got to make sure those hands are played well. The sick thing is I saw this issue coming just as soon as I realized how much play would be involved in clearing everything, yet still there have been issues.

 

Heads up microstakes tourneys, which I previously thought would be my go to easy game, have turned into a huge frustration. I dont know if it has to do with all the bonus grinding elsewhere, or level if the of competition has changed or what, but Im not getting it done there and that is disappointing. I have found I can beat 1o plo and 25 plo fairly readily.

 

I love the game but Im actually lookign forward to clearing these bonuses and regrouping a bit. One thing that has gone well is diet and exercise, I am fairly fit these days so at least fast food mailaise isnt a concern. Hope to keep it that way.

 

Overall, I am still a losing player and it pisses me off. I will beat these games eventually though, got to get focused. Never surrender.

 

It's not complex and it's not new, it has been said many times and it's right there for all to see. You know it already, but do you own it?

 

The key to all poker is simply to find a game you can reliably beat and go about grinding it. This is not a game where you have an edge, or a game where you simply hope to win and may well win if things go well. I'm talking about a game you consistantly and regularly beat.

 

I found it online, finally. Embarrasingly, its $2 to $5 heads up sngs. (Im also fairly sure stud H/L fits this catagory but Ill leave that for another day) That's it. Its not glamorous and its not wildly profitable given the time it takes, but it gets the job done. I just finished a set of 25, 8 player, $2.25 heads up sit and goes on Full Tilt and ran and played just about as bad as possible. But I added up the wins and Im still up $17 without rakeback. Since I started this plan my roll has basically doubled (I have also played 25nl here and there during the month and had a winning month there, but the key is the stable profits from the sngs.)

 

So, once you have that base game that you can reliably beat you are free to do whatever shot taking you can afford, knowing that if things go poorly you can continue to study and rebuild your roll at the go to, easy game. Its really that simple, and like many its something I already knew, but do you put it into practice? It really is the key to all poker. I'll never go broke again, and never have to redeposit again if I simply stick to the plan. Hopefully as I get better my "go to" game will be a bigger one that is more profitable.

 

Aside from the obvious financial benefits, you can not underestimate the effect of the confidence this will give you. There are two ways to feel, at 25nl for example. You can be sitting there cautious, knowing that a few beats will push you down a level again, or you can be sitting there confident, knowing that if things go to hell you can just go back to your easy game to rebuild.

 

Aside from that, in general, the year is going well, sort of. I had hoped of course to be at a much higher stake by now, but I am confident that Ill be able to move through 25nl in the next couple of months. I was almost at 5o nl a few months ago when I had a total reversal of luck and blew up. Again though, the big picture is a bright one. No deposits this year, none. The hobby I enjoy is finally paying for itself. I have much bigger goals, of course, but its a step in the right direction.

 

I also have stepped back a bit from internet forums. More reading and less posting. It can be great, but there is no sense interacting when all your doing is getting yourself all worked up in some meaningless flame war. Keep it positive and work hard, leave the put downs to others imo. This game is hard enough online.

 

 

Keep your cheeks tight, and never surrender.

So, April was a total disaster. In the first week of the month I was about to move up to 50nl. My BR was close to $1,000.00. Then I had some serious doomswitch. Same old story, which I know readers would not believe if they were to look at PTR. I have had these periods where I do not win any all ins, even with the best of it. I looked at Pokertracker and was $200 below EV (four buy ins) at the beginning of the runbad. I havn’t looked since but Im sure its at least as bad for the second half of the runbad. At one point I got it all in on two separate tables with a set and got rivered by a pocket pair, AT THE SAME TIME ON BOTH TABLES.

That said, I do have leaks, and like I have said many times, runbad cannot be an excuse to let me off working on those leaks. I will continue to do that. The title of this blog is never surrender, and I mean it quite literally with poker. I will become great or die trying.

So now my bankroll is appropriate for 10nl (LOL). Im not going to do that right now. What I am going to do, is play 100 heads up sngs. These are 8 player tournements where the first prize is $8 profit and second is $3 profit, approximately. I had stared the challenge and unsuprisingly ran horribly at the outset. These shennanigans are in gloats and spews on pokerroad, in case you are that one guy who loves reading others beats. I will
blog about results and experiences during the challenge.

The idea is to work on leaks and learn something by taking me outside my comfort zone, and to profit and rebuild my roll. I have already learned some things about poker through these heads up games:

1. Value Bet. One of my issues with poker is continually looking at absolute hand strength instead of relative hand strength. Already I can see myself checking when I should be betting. When you are likely to have the best hand, you must bet. If you don’t, you will not win at poker. Making the decision to check a marginal hand and show it down is slow death at this game. You must make the pots you win bigger and those you lose smaller. The way you do that is to value bet. The question to always ask is does villans range contain worse hands that can call. Easy idea, more difficult in practice.

2. Stamina and Focus. Heads up poker is teaching me some discipline. It only takes one small mistake to cost you the match and your buy in. The heads up game really accentuates the emotional aspects of the game. I cannot tell you how many villans take one loss and come totally unglued. The heads up game really accentuates the emotional aspects of the game. Every decision matters, very much.

3. Straights are Great Hands for Getting Value. Much of my profit in FR comes from sets. Great, but the key to making money is to have a good hand which villan does not expect. Anyone can flop a set and stack a dufus with aces. Disguised straights get money from a wider variety of opposing hands. I’m working on how to draw profitably, combo draws, draws with a marginal pair, etc. Inotherwords, im working on opening up my game.

Goals for May.

rebuild my roll,

maintain minimal ironman level

have a profitable month, and

work hard at getting better.

Wow, really.. you fell for that. There are no naked women in my bed dummy, and you fashion yourself a poker player. Thats odd.

So, the game is going well. I have made some changes in my life which should allow me to really concentrate on becoming a winning midstakes online player. I have the time and I have the desire, but do I have the discipline. Thats the question. I have been exercising, studying well and getting rest. I just need to follow through, like many things in life it is much easier to know what to do, than it is to actually do it.

I am finally turning the corner in 25nl full ring. While not crushing the game, with rakeback, continued study and game selection I feel confident that I can move on to 5oNL soon. I final tabled a $2 donkament for $14o or so profit. More importantly I finally developed a working relationship with a a successfull tournement grinder, and I am learning. Tournement poker, for me, is still a way to use fpps and take the occasional shot, it is not my focus. I STILL, would like to develop working relations with other small to mid stakes NLHE cash grinders, so contact me if interested.

The goal for April is to crush at 25nl and get my roll ready for the next step at 5onl, and to continue to develop the long term habits of eating well, resting and being in shape.

This months I stand humbled award goes to Thuy Doan, anyone who wonders why should ckeck out her blog on pokerroad. Very inspirational.

That is all for now, keep your cheeks tight and never surrender…………

Day of Run Good

Today was fng biblical dudes. I mean frogs and locusts epicness. Over the course of four hours of play I was dealt AA at least ten times. I was dealt KK at least five times. These hands I won small pots with.

Then I made sets when dealt pocket pairs, I would estimate, about 40% of the time. It was truly amazing how well I hit hands today. The sets I did get paid with as three times, three, I had set over set. Today had to be by far the best results I have ever had in terms of bbs per hour. I also turned the nut straight with tens. I just could not lose a hand today, it was incredible. On top of that the little things went well also, like I would river top pair in a small pot continually. If I can get pokertracker to do what I ask of it for once I will add the stat.

I know I have run poorly sometimes, but today was a bit of redemption, and I wanted to set it down in the blog so I dont always have that excuse for losing. I hope those of you who have never had a day like today do soon, its just really encouraging to know that, while you will have days that will make you want to rip your eyes out, you will also have days like I had today. We are not talking big dollars here since I am still at 25nl, but still, alot of fun.

I dont take anything from it, as I know today was just the pleasant side of variance, but maybe the smart thing to do is to let it seep into my confidence, as if I played real well. Its important for me to know I can be lucky. Btw I am also on the verge of cashng this $3 rebuy on stars, Im short but just got table changed to the button from mp: more good luck. A little tourney rungoot would be icing on this cake yo, call me greedy…. moar rungoot!

(ha, run good at pokertracker also; 21.16 bbs/100 over 746 hands, sick.)

May tommorow and the rest of March 2010 be half as good please. Keep your cheeks tight people, peace.

Once Upon a Midnight Clear.

Sooooo, Ive been running bad and finally hit a stragiht with 6,7 off on the button and won a huge pot. Funny but sometimes a thing like that can motivate you to action. Satisfied, for the moment, I decide to shake off my delivered pizza malaise and go for a walk…

It was about an hour ago, 1 AM, and its a clear breezy night in Colorado maybe in the mid twenties. I live in a suburban area that is next to a mesa. On the mesa there are often Mule deer. So Im walking down this street and see two deer, maybe in their second year with big racks. I whistle at them and they jog off. Satisfied that I am the badest mother ****er prowling the night I continue down this street into a section where on the right there is a ten foot high stone fence and on the left is a long office building. A valley as it were, you can go back or you can go forward but your not getting out of it otherwise.

This thought occurs to me as I see three enormous mule deer in the grassy median of this street ahead of me. Now these things are big. Heads where my head is and racks three to four feet above that. Soooo, I walk toward them and clap my hands and whistle a bit like I did to the others. They stare at me and I stare at them. I move closer and to the side. They turn and face me and stare. Just silence me and the three deer looking cautiously at each other, the rest of the world so quiet that it fell away. Ears flickering, and I consider going back the way I came. But I dont, I suppose if the grand architect wants me to be gored to death by three deer in suburban Colorado so be it.

Anyway, I walked right past them. No more than 15 feet while they stared at me. It was a cool moment. Im 6,2 and about 220 pounds but at that moment those deer had all the power not me. So it was with an assumed and shaky confidence that I walked by them trying to look confident but unthreatening.

Maybe these are my spirit deer, come to signify my luck has changed. Maybe there is more to this world than meets the eye. I have begun to think so, and I hope so. I hope there is a deeper justice. Anyways. Never Surrender

Im at 25nl and have played quite a bit this year. Id have to look but Id say 5k hands or so already. Really have had quite a rollercoaster at 25NL six max. This is a level I can beat. I had some insanely unlucky days the first few days of the year. Today was redemption. I made a royal flush, quad kings and a number of sets. I won almost 7 buy ins today 10 Jan 2010. ( I did lose with AA to KK all in preflop or I would be up 9 buy ins)

The move to six max is exposing weaknesses. Still not enough three betting and there are some spots where I lose value. This is good though, its one of the reasons I moved to six max and working in these areas will help make me a monster when I return to full ring.

I have moved to Full Tilt exclusively and will not play on stars this year. I had some awful days on stars and allthough its not rational I just dont want to play there at the moment. I have had a number of really unlucky experiences on stars, and really nothing good has ever happend to me there. Its not like I dont have bad days on FT, but its not constant and once i turned 15 f pps into $7oo on Tilt. Again, not rational but after a sustained period of bad luck on stars I just dont feel like being on the site any longer. I also get rakeback at Tilt so it makes sense to play there.

I really have to step up the volume and move through 25Nl as quickly as possible. I have some very defined goals for my bankroll this year and they wont be possible at this limit. Im adhering to some strict bankroll management rules and very glad of it, I am going to set even more strict limits when I get back to 100 NL and higher.

At the end of February I am moving the law office to my home and having a virtual office. It should be seemless for clients, and let me play more poker on my own terms. Im fairly excited about that.

I also want to get out in the world more this year and play live. I would like to play in Vegas a number of times, and California as well if possible. Alot of this depends on finances and there are also local casinos. In any event, I love online poker but I dont want to spend my life in front of the computer, which I have definitely been doing. Im too damn sexy to not share myself with the rest of the world you see.

As Ive mentioned in many of my posts, Im still looking to develop some friendships/ working relationships with people who are also looking to move through low to midstakes NLHE. I have skpe and Im ready to work, just need to find the right people so contact me if your interested.

Thats it for now, keep your cheeks tight.

Well as the year donks its way to an end its time to reflect upon the many ass rogerings and bad beats I have sufferred…..

Just kidding, sort of. So we are at 25NL where we shouldve started initially. I still think I basically ran bad all year at the higher limits like 100nl but there is nothing wrong with regrouping, and building a bankroll down where its safe. Im playing 6 max 25nl and enjoying it. There are many more decisions to be made and its entertaining, much more invlovement than full ring. There is no doubt in my mind that if I grind this level Ill have a bankroll to go higer, probably sooner than later and that is a good feeling.

Looking forward to continue to improve in 2010 and to having a profitable year. Very much want to get out in the real world and play more live, so you might see me at the tables and I would appreciate you taking a shower. I have been playing for about two years but basically spent the first year and a half at mixed games where I did much better. The thing about those games though is there is no where to play live unless your a millionaire, so here I am learning NLHE.

There are many aspects of my game that are coming together like learning to study well, keeping a journal and developing some good practices like pregame meditation. Everyone on Pokerroad and DC has been very helpfull and I apprecitate it. One fundamental weakness remains not having anyone to talk with about poker as in real life interaction. Anyone who is a reg, and serious about moving through the low to middle stakes online games please feel free to contact me. I have started using Skpe.

Btw if I had to state the one thing that I learned this year that is the most usefull I would say its the 5% rule. As in never have more than 5% or your bankroll on a table at once. If you follow this simple rule you will be playing at the right level, with little or no chance of going broke.