FuzzyPuppy Snarls

So I dealt a hand of poker in our daily tournament. At the 200/400 level, our hero of the post limped, 2 others limped and the BB checked. With 1800 in the pot, the flop came J76 with 2 spades. The BB shoved all-in for 4800 and UTG went into the tank for almost 3 minutes, an all too common situation these days.

When UTG came up for air, he finally made the call. He turns over T9 offsuit. First of all, I cannot even imagine how even people with no knowledge at all of the game can be so bad. Having no experience is no excuse for being so stupid. I may know nothing about say cable cars in San Francisco..but I still know that standing in front of a moving cable car is stupid.

Nevertheless, this leads to the most bizarre part of the hand. The guy TANKED FOR 3 MINUTES. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall watching his brain attempt to decipher whatever it was trying to decipher. He used every bit of brainpower to conclude that he was making a good decision. More often tha not, I am convinced that humans are not, in fact, the first “intelligent” species.

POSTSCRIPT 1: The BB flipped over his KJ, improved with a backdoor flush draw and promptly lost to the inevitable river 3-outer 8.

POSTSCRIPT 2: A few hands later Mr. T9 attempted to tell me that I was doing a sidepot wrong. Dude, if you lack the ability to tie your shoes or post an ante, kindly shut your stupid mouth about dealing procedures

I think the decision was correct. The PATS 4th and short conversion attempts were in the mid 70’s. Other factors likely decrease their true percentage of making it. I will give them a 65% chance of winning the game outright. However, you must also add the small chance Indy does not score from where the ball is turned over. I believe this is an extra 5% chance (conservative) giving the PATS the win 70% of the time.

I would venture to say Indy will score a TD after a punt far more often than 30% of the time so the decision was greatly +EV in my mind. With that said, if Indy had Darrius Heyward-Bey in their receiving corps, this would be a trick question as Indy would lose under every scenario! By the way, as Raiders fan I will soon rant about their ineptitude I am sure.

The funniest (or scariest) thing about this situation is the vast majority of sports figures and writers who say this was the stupidest decision of all-time. Even if you want to play with the variables, the decision must be pretty close. However, many cannot even acknowledge this as a possibility! Dealing with these level 1 thinkers is great in poker but leads to many exasperating moments in life. COME ON PEOPLE! Use your wasted brain mass to actually think about situations instead of just being a sheep who does and says whatever the masses do or say. This is the sort of crap which has the world (and America in particular) in such a funk despite our obvious advances.

OK…my 1st blog was a vent. I needed the cathartic healing power of banging a keyboard for a few minutes. Unfortunately, I need this far too often in my poker playing as I am a certified Tilt Monkey. I am the Phil Ivey of poker tilting. Tilting is a consistent, powerful force in my poker existence that has prevented me from attaining the success I desire. Since this blog will hopefully encompass 25% life, I must also tell you that I tilt at life. People bother me. People acting like idiots is barely acceptable. People acting like idiots because of a blatant disregard for others send me into a rage. I am not exactly the hide behind your computer type because I have no qualms about telling someone they are a useless scumbag who should be executed for simply being a selfish asshole to their face. In fact, I do it frequently to my own detriment because I rarely sugarcoat and abhor kissing ass.

But I digress…as for poker, I have the same old poker story except I have made only 1 poker deposit per site in my life. Well…here my story diverges from the Krantzes and Anskys of the world. I have always won, but never in large amounts. I loved poker when I first started but not as much now so I do not play very often. I have only accumulated 11,000 FPP’s on Stars for the year. However, making money at poker is better than having a real job. I am hoping to develop the dedication, tilt control, and knowledge of the game necessary to lead a comfortable existence. We shall see.

This may end up being the worst opening blog post in history. I only created it because I felt the need to scream. The object of my disdain is the Nuts. My current ire has increased drastically in the last 3-5 minutes when opponents flopped them against me 4 times.

Ever since I was a child, I hated nuts. I hate them even more so now. Most of my largest potential scores in poker have been derailed by an opponent’s nuts, usually turned and occasionally rivered if they were drawing dead to 1 card on the turn. They also flop the nuts as well; moreover, all of these occasions seem to involve annoying scenarios in which they played a hand terribly and get a 1 in 1000 flop that fits the situation perfectly. Since I was just 2-tabling and villains just flopped the nuts against me 4 times in a few minutes, I felt like venting.

Please Poker Gods…stop rewarding them for overlimping KK as I sit minding my own business in the BB with A4 to see the K44 flop. The same can be said for their stupid 97suited. Inevitably I have J9 of spades and get the T86 flop with 2 spades. I can’t ever leverage fold equity on these flops when they have it every time.

Conversely, on the rare occasions I am dealt AA in a non-big blind position while getting a walk, can you not give me the nuts (set) when they get “tricky” with flatting KK preflop in a dumb spot. I feel this is a reasonable request in some stupid 50 or 100NL cash game when you have given me KK v. AA twice with less than 100 players left in the Sunday Million.