Wave of Mutilation

So, this past week has been bittersweet-ish. I’m heatering at 2/4, but running like a slippery wet dog anus at 3/6. I mixed in some 1/2 ROOOSH for fun and that obv goes swimmingly.

I think I’m cursed by Voo-Doo magic at 3/6 or something. Honestly, the hands I’ve lost there are gross. Not green slime you can’t do that on television double dare gross, more like vomiting up a buffet’s worth of chinese food and making a milkshake out of it. DOWN THE HATCH! yeah that’s pretty fuckin’ gross. On the other hand I’m happy with my play, but I’ve found a leak. Whenever I get frustrated/tilty/things go poorly, I become a calling station on the river. I found like $200+ in bad calls in just a few thousand hands. I don’t mean close calls, just, bad/tilted calls. So going to work on that. Not much else to say about what’s up lately, it’s been a relatively quiet grinding week. I do think we have some interesting hands though :) Try pie, try….

Biggest Pot – Nothing too interesting here, just a lost flip at 3/6 vs. a dude I have a pretty aggressive dynamic against. I think he hates me because I double barreled one time and he made this lolarious gigantic turn c/r which would basically be poor with his entire range in the situation, and I was like LOLOLOLOLOL in chat, and folded. Shame your opponents into tilt!

Full Tilt Poker $3/$6 No Limit Hold’em – 5 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG: $657.30
CO: $988.90
Hero (BTN): $760.15
SB: $750.00
BB: $824.95

Pre Flop: ($9.00) Hero is BTN with K A
2 folds, Hero raises to $18, SB raises to $66, 1 fold, Hero raises to $138, SB raises to $750 all in, Hero calls $612

Flop: ($1506.00) 8 J Q

Turn: ($1506.00) 4

River: ($1506.00) 2

Final Pot: $1506.00
Hero shows K A (Ace King high)
SB shows T T (a pair of Tens)
SB wins $1503.00
(Rake: $3.00)

Dumbest Play? – Villain is some sort of a reg, I’ve seen him around various stakes over the years. 1/2 RUSH, we’re deep, I’m leading the flop in a 5 way pot, barreling the turn when he calls, and jamming the river. Now maybe I’m just bitter b/c he tank/called my river bluff, but I think KQ is a fold here in his shoes nearly always. Especially considering that the hands he’s bluffcatching against (flush draws essentially) are wayyyyyyy less existent given that he has blockers! DUH. AND I’m UTG at ROOOOOSH so I don’t have THAT wide of a range deep. Meh I think this call sucks. Am I bitter? Or is this a super awesome profitable snap call? Tell Fender plz.

Full Tilt Poker $1/$2 No Limit Hold’em – 6 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

SB: $214.00
BB: $200.00
Hero (UTG): $906.65
MP: $233.00
CO: $205.45
BTN: $342.70

Pre Flop: ($3.00) Hero is UTG with A T
Hero raises to $7, 1 fold, CO calls $7, BTN calls $7, SB calls $6, BB calls $5

Flop: ($35.00) 3 8 5 (5 players)
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $27, CO folds, BTN calls $27, SB folds, BB folds

Turn: ($89.00) K (2 players)
Hero bets $72, BTN requests TIME, BTN calls $72

River: ($233.00) 6 (2 players)
Hero bets $800.65 all in, BTN requests TIME, BTN calls $236.70 all in

Final Pot: $706.40
Hero shows A T (Ace King high)
BTN shows K Q (a pair of Kings)
BTN wins $703.40
(Rake: $3.00)

Avant-Garde – Villain in this hand is a super popular poster on 2p2 and he plays higher up, higher than me etc. I am pretty sure. This is a great spot to let people level themselves. I wouldn’t be surprised if he floated here a lot wider than he did. Also this kinda forces him to play bigger pots with his marginal top pair hands and draws that he’d usually want to pot control. Not something to do all the time, but mixing it in is nice. This was at a ROOOOSH table so it HAS to be good :D.

Full Tilt Poker $1/$2 No Limit Hold’em – 6 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

SB: $183.25
BB: $215.25
UTG: $193.00
MP: $428.15
Hero (CO): $220.20
BTN: $251.00

Pre Flop: ($3.00) Hero is CO with K A
2 folds, Hero raises to $6, BTN calls $6, 2 folds

Flop: ($15.00) 2 K 3 (2 players)
Hero checks, BTN bets $12, Hero raises to $37, BTN requests TIME, BTN calls $25

Turn: ($89.00) 9 (2 players)
Hero bets $59, BTN requests TIME, BTN raises to $208 all in, Hero calls $118.20 all in

River: ($443.40) A (2 players – 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $443.40
Hero shows K A (two pair, Aces and Kings)
BTN shows K J (a pair of Kings)
Hero wins $440.40
(Rake: $3.00)

LOLOLOLOLest Hand – Um, I flat the 3b because I has no history with villain and they’re 3b’ing my MP raise. We flop the pizza joint, 555, Domino’s style. Standard flop call. Turn he POTS it, and I’m a bit worried I’m getting destroyed by AA here, but if he does have a smaller pair I don’t want to let an overcard roll off and lose his dough (monies), so I bag the sauce (jam) and he snap makes a cardboard box (folds). I honestly thought to myself “what? did that just happen?” AWKWARD.

Full Tilt Poker $2/$4 No Limit Hold’em – 5 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Hero (CO): $422.40
BTN: $850.40
SB: $402.00
BB: $388.10
UTG: $513.70

Pre Flop: ($6.00) Hero is CO with Q Q
1 fold, Hero raises to $12, 2 folds, BB raises to $32, Hero calls $20

Flop: ($66.00) 5 5 5 (2 players)
BB bets $54, Hero calls $54

Turn: ($174.00) 3 (2 players)
BB bets $172, Hero raises to $336.40 all in, BB folds

Final Pot: $518.00
Hero wins $515.00
(Rake: $3.00)

Sickest Cooler – Continuing my neverending story of running bad at 3/6 in all directions, we have this retarded pot vs. a fishy dude. I’m pretty sure I’m stacking like everything in his range that isn’t 44 or 3×. Yes indeed he has like every pair up to 99 (he was aggro enough to be 3b’ing big pairs etc.) and yes indeed he’s never folding them. The river is like the best card to jam here b/c poor players never fold, nobody folds a boat obv. OOPS QUADS!!!!!!! YOU LOSE!!!!! GOOD DAY SIR!

Full Tilt Poker $3/$6 No Limit Hold’em – 6 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: $616.90
SB: $1449.00
BB: $606.00
UTG: $1536.00
MP: $619.20
Hero (CO): $600.00

Pre Flop: ($9.00) Hero is CO with T T
2 folds, Hero raises to $18, BTN calls $18, 1 fold, BB calls $12

Flop: ($57.00) 3 4 3 (3 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $42, BTN calls $42, BB folds

Turn: ($141.00) 2 (2 players)
Hero bets $111, BTN calls $111

River: ($363.00) 3 (2 players)
Hero bets $429 all in, BTN calls $429

Final Pot: $1221.00
BTN shows 3 A (four of a kind, Threes)
Hero shows T T (a full house, Threes full of Tens)
BTN wins $1218.00
(Rake: $3.00)

Good luck out there ladies and gentlemen, into the night like a shadow I slide, but you’ll see me again, and next time I’ll bring my Riddler costume.