le petite tilt.

i just wrote a sentence in here and thought "oh pick up mentalgameofpoker" and tada here we are.

i was looking for that confidence chapter at the end of the book but stopped at page 196, where it says something about freerolling your talent and i also liked the first passage on the next side, which is about dreams and reality. when i clicked on "new post" i wanted to point out where i am at in 90k hands after my fresh start, wanted to reaffirm or readjust my goals, wanted to be just everything page 196 is talking about. 

the state of mind proposed on those 2 pages really is helping me out today and i think i need to manifest that. i should copy that and put it next to my screen. 

so 90k hands 12bb/100 overall being 25% of winnings < EV. i had a long 30k hands tilt stretch in there, or as you call it "downswing", yeah right. last 20k hands were as good as the first 30k hands, going for glory with 25bb/100 (20 sessions, 2 loosing). with that winrate i need to play another like 30k hands to be able to move up in limits. thats nothing, daniel, face it! dont loose it! 

thats actually being realistic here. my mind is always like oh no im never going to achieve this that and so on. i always am prepared for the worst, what makes me ignore the good things like me running like hell through the stakes. it is my way to cope with bad things that might occur. i always seem to be prepared for them while i never acknowledged that doing things for my own good might make it less likely for me ending up struggling. i need to experience that! need to! do not loose this thought! and my talent finally might freeroll. man, jared. genius.

these days i am very focused on training and mindset again. i wanna talk theory, hands and try to prepare myself, prepare the career i wanna go through. i am making good progress in terms of theory and strategies, just need to force myself to practice what i came across in theory.

cu.