le petite tilt.

so ive been noticing that a change in mind is mandatory to play this game. i recognized it yet, still it is a newborn idea and not even close to be manifested in my head.

all the speeches you came across during the years about how to approach the game have been compatible with my earlier understanding, iiif you ignored some of it :P right now it looks like "letting the game come to you" rather than "forcing it" to speak in riddles.. is not what my ego wanted to see. the influence i can have in this game still is big, but not in the way that i choosed to when "on tilt". and my tilt is not ending ever, unless something really weird happens like me playing well but loosing.

exactly this happened after a long streak of semitilt in november:

i ran 25 stacks < ev and my bankroll was crippled. i actually moved down in limits, what i would not have done on tilt. tilt is such a stupid word. naming the child by its name would be much better, but its easier like this isnt it. 

so analyzing this graph hopefully leaves some anchorpoints in my head, should i be turning into a tiltmonkey again. non sd should have told me that im an idiot earlier on, but i just thought.. whatever. lets seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee where this gets me.

another "problem" i already named within this text is, that my ego hates to see things clearly, i wanna crush by force. whatever. so this game gets BORING somehow. you may have experienced how much fun chasing money is. lol.. while a stable, realistic approach to the game is bleh. be patient, wait, ok variance, :)), idiots. bla right?

btw 11bb/100 72k hands including 30k of tilt \o/