le petite tilt.

sup. i dont wanna play? that's propably the #1 reason why i lack in focus?

i might try to play less tables again and add one at a time.. but that wouldnt be necessary if i had good focus to begin with. how do i gain focus when i dont really wanna play? and why wouldnt i wanna play :( ? i do NOT like the idea to have small goals, like buying this or that when i win this or that, because my focus would be on the money then. im very motivated when it comes to money, but ..meh. chasing is the devil. i have a great focus on higher stakes, that i propably shouldnt play at the moment.. bankroll says no no no. but i say ye ye ye. i need a solution for this issue. possibly take some time off until i respect lowstakes again? gimme a comment pls

in the end i need to have fun working on my game, which hopefully leads to having fun applying it. let's purchase stoxev and flopzilla? help

it looks like that i do not know what to work on... or how to work at all? i have balugawhales new book, but meh. i have recognized things i find interesting myself, but how do i look into it? stoxev? looks like i need a way to solve problems that occur.. why problems.. possibilties. i like sorting out things, but i cannot somehow. lets buy that SHIT YEAH DJ PAULY D YEAH.

i had written a longer text, but i just wanna summarize everything

• struggled a bit last few days in terms of focus, made some bad plays, because i was arrogant against bad players.
  
• tried some new plays that i do not know wether they are +ev or not. the idea was very clever, it worked out, but still might be -ev. need to look into it 
  
•  non sd winnings broke down quiet heavily, no idea why.. propably bec i was playing bad players lately. 
  
• wanna have a look into donkbetting in general
  
• im up 60 stacks in close to 30k hands winning $6000 in cashgames this month on nl50, bit 100 and some 200