le petite tilt.

after going for glory in this weekends tourneys, realizing my bankroll wouldnt be able to carry the buyin weights (hey brm), i understood that i had to reset my focus to cashgames again. my tourney losses kind of left me ignoring my cashgame career lately and i instantly knew i had to reset everything. let's focus on cashgames again and let tourneys have  a lesser priority.

i am up 40 stacks in 20k hands (20bb/100) that i have played since i did my fresh start. 26 sessions, 4 loosing session, including tilt and bla (see swings in graph). im pretty impressed on how poker turns out once you got a better understanding of where tilt comes from and stop taking your personal emotions for godgiven natural expressions/reactions of/to what is wrong with reality.. instead of whats wrong with myself. if that makes any sense..

right now i am still not too comfortable with my game as there is much more to learn and i want to have a much much better overview about ev in any situation to understand variance better and play a more sharp game overall with much less tilt :P. it's not that i would not know my ev in situations, but my understanding of variance is a bit off and leads to tilt :\. it's the same story as with bankroll management... i am a fish when it comes to this basic stuff, but since i raised my awareness about my mental game i start to see things in another light. 

thanks, blog <3

these days i do not only recognize that i have to be more aware of my mental game, but theoretical understanding as well. im not sure what to write about this for now, but it looks like my mental issues interfered with my learning capabilities/abilities as mentioned in this blog already. i would recommend everybody to write a journal like i do.. i dont even care if somebody reads it. does somebody actually read this stuff? i wouldnt if i was you lol