le petite tilt.

sex sells.

everywhere you go you will see people trying to change reality instead of their view on it (that could very well be the definition of tilt). 
lying, acting, cheating is nothing honest/real/true. honesty lasts the longest. but people might mishandle their own flaws, hide them, cover them up with jewlery, breast implants or simply with ego. fight them with defiance, ignore them with neuroses, being secretively ,whatever. lying to others, lying to themselves. living alongside your flaws, accepting those, being honest  looks like the only way to develope real strength (real!). you have to know your flaws not to be surprised by them, to be calm and patient with em. and not end up fighting those. 

this is a part of the original post 'poker and breast implants' 

read that? k, so yesterday i came across another phenomenon while playing. i saw that there is much more to learn and i saw that my plays are not sharp enough for me to get the best out of them. i realized that no math is backing up my agression. just vage knowledge/experience/whatever.. i dont know how to put it right.. while playing passive you can count on odds, playing aggressively has to capitalize on one's own equity against somebody's range.. combined with foldequity wether it is a previous, the actual or future streets. this requires me to get a wayy better "feeling" for the math behind my aggressive plays, where feeling is supposed to mean uncounscious knowledge or whatever jared tendler meant.

so what has all this to do with breast implants? i thought that i have fought most of my tries to change reality, but there actually is more to come. while playing i recognized the mentioned flaws in my game. situations i do not have mastered (which is like every hand i play in some degree), do not only lead to mistake-tilt, but also i kind of ignore those, overlook them, do not try to understand it.. not quit the session working it out. if one would actually do that, he propably would not play much, but he would sort out the game so quickly, damn. i wanna do that! but my actions are somewhat limited, because i dont even know how to calculate stuff lol (which is the actual problem, im a math fish)

so again, the idea of this post was to name that

 "people trying to change reality instead of their view on it" 

still affects me like hell. i am not where i want to be, sorting out every issue i come across. i actually mark every single hand im playing right now to analyze it later on. it's a good start, but i havent looked at any of those yet. i wanna do my class. homework is playing some poker propably to come back to school and work on everything, not the other way round.

i am new to math as i was new to the mental game, and everything is a big myst to me right now, i should just start working it out now to have an actual view on what i can do at all. 

let's go