http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overconfidence_effect
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2038703/How-overconfidence-improve-chances-success.html
“Marcus Aurelius Antoninus hired a serveant to walk behind him to whisper in his ear, ‘You are just a man….just a man,’ as he received the praise of the adoring citizenry.” - snarble :*
a-game is enlighting. whenever i'm trying to and achieve playing good.. it is just enlighting. so many spots are coming up that i need to master, so many anchors,crosses,ankles that i have not mastered yet. so many folds i cannot do because im stupid, so many raises i didnt do... man.
damn this is so awesome, now all i need to do is keep on doing my homework and improve (even further. HEHEHEHE)
yeah, i need to actually work on it and not end up playing all the time. recognizing those things, writing them down and trying to solve it is a BIG task. i just hope i will be able to do it.
http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Von+Bezirk+Zu+Bezirk+Feat+Azad+and+Jeyz/3NyL5i?src=5
been talking to our daddy tackle on skype about how bad im feeling atm and he was perplex, because i still have an estimated 10bb/100 winrate lol. he thought i'd be complaining on a high niveau, but i really suffer from tilt big time. we got into it and were able to talk about the issue itself rather than judging wether my issues are real or not.
my mind is trying to sort out the issues that it makes itself and i am not sure about its triggers yet. i have had this problems my entire poker career. i know i am able to make the best decision, but i cannot apply my theoretical understandings often. last 100k hands i suffered from tilt in 50k hands. 50% tilt, 10bb winrate. yeah blabla, i know that i will be broke shouldn't i figure it out soon enough.
well, let's see where it takes me
if you have (doubt it) followed my posts so far you came across me suffering from overconfidence, winner's tilt and so on. my earlier post shows that i crushed pretty heavily just to loose the entire winnings on a higher stakes. so how is this supposed to work out? i cannot be a loosing player on those stakes. i spazzed out, fps, blablabla.
when i first moved up i continued to crush, was up a sick amout but then i lost it (it=control) and boom down.
i have to get into this, i really dont get it
still struggling with mindset stuff, but working on that. i oftentimes have questionmarks above my head, but working on a more stable strategy as well.
looks like i survived being 25 stacks below expectation (ai ev), but im not even happy about it, i have much higher expecations as mentioned in my last post and i kinda wanna jump steps and try to overcome this by shotting ridiculous stakes :\ STOP IT DANIEL
hey sexy
i wanted to post this yesterday already, but didn't have much to say about it. i was taking a shot at higher stakes yesterday and rather than worrying about the amount i lost or won, it made me think about how easy it is to ignore variance when playing a deep brm. it also made me realize how important every decision is only due to the shallowness of my bankroll. this is really interesting. i was so much more focused, there was no autopilot whatsoever..
and im curious wether me only being focused when shotting is the leak, or me starting to autopilot. anyways there is a new height to reach.
how does one retain this level of thought, this mindset over a longer period of time? actually.. how does one have this playing deep at all?
i just was playing my regular stakes again and i dont even pay much attention to whats going on anymore. why :( it is kind of easy, boring and there is no danger involved lol. i have had this problem in late october when i started taking shots, BECAUSE i was bored. yesterday i took a shot playing great, focused and so on. it worked out, so no tilt, no chase,
it might even be the magic of something new that made me tap rather than taking big steps in there actionwise. should i take shots more reguarly i think i have expectations and those will simply erase the beautiful mind i had yesterday.
i am always worried about this and i see many people being totally into it as well... like when your grandpartens used to say "what are our neighbours supposed to think, gosh! :(((" at least that's what i saw in movies. this constant pressure one is in to realize the ideas one has of himself is what makes people care about themselves i suppose. i have very noble and romantic ideas of where i wanna be (part of), but my actions are so so far away from this being real. it is my wildest dream and yet the only weak n shaky hope i got. there is not much i have in my hands right now that i could call my identity, it is growing and falling each day and it is measuring itself upon my idea of future. "BUT BUDDHA SAYS THERE IS NO FUTURE. THERE ONLY IS PR.." stfu.
it is not really helpful to have one's ideas being very far fetched as it ignores where i am at and the slightest fall makes me worry about my entire world, integrity of my actions and wishes, yet life.
it looks like i am that unhappy with my current situation that i am driven towards a better tomorrow. and often times, when something is in my way, i suffer from a bumpy road... my world falls apart and i need to stand up again, but that takes some time. i have read something interesting in mental game of poker about this. it is only a small passage, but it might turn everything to a point that i can live with my hope in way that makes me develope faster. it is about not to dream, but make it a goal. it is such a simple idea, but jared tendler is talking about how dreaming about achievements is making them real somehow. what i am looking for now is a more stable way to achieve what i want, rather than fall all the time, just because a fat cat is blocking the street.
something just happened. SKYPE. i was defining myself and said i like old europe more than other cultures and i hate those trendy asian philosophies and alternative medecine and all that crap. and he was like "you cannot hate what you dont know!" and i was like... looks like i can. and then he put me in my place and said that i would hate everything.
now i dont even care about correcting this, but i had the idea to and this fits in with what i wrote so far.
the end
oh wait. why did i pick this title again? adjusting identity? well it is adjusting to our point of where we are at right now, things change, our views adjust to our point of experience and knowledge, so our grade of stability in identity changes. we have made further steps and see progress. for that to be true we have to have a path to walk upon already though. and this actually is the first time im happy to announce that i wanna be successful in poker and make enough money for whatever. im gonna be a millinoaire.
hello
so the last few days if not weeks in my head have been about ego and how to deal with it. it was to name the phenomenon to not be overwhelmed by it. naming your fear so it cannot hide.
one's worth is the amount of money somebody else would pay to be in this persons position. (sorry have to stress this quote :P even though it is ignoring the path of development)
the following lines try to describe an emotion, affect, or whatever that is.. but im not quiet there yet to name it. it "feels" like they are part of each other, blend in or something. talking about ego and passion
to be driven by ego/passion has something inspirational. it is the idea to grow, while blank theory is not making us go anywhere. that's the place where discipline leaves passion behind. if you are not passionate about the object, you propably shouldnt be here. i think that ego should not be ignored. ego has its merits and those who say to blind it out most likely just have a sort of ego that is not able to mess with most others. ego is build upon our success of actions and might not be accurate all of the time. there are common misconceptions such as narcissm, where ego is trying to ignore once flaws. flaws that have to be ignored because they seem to be so important to hero.
ego is benefitial for one thing. if your ego is not the biggest, you propably have more focus for the object (or you lie to yourself). if your ego is too big, it rises above the object and puts you in focus rather than your actions (and you lie to yourself). and if your interaction with the object is in focus it looks like everything is in balance.
i think having a good relation with your ego, having reasonable confidence of your actions it key.
actually i think there might be a misuse of some words... lets put it like this, what most ppl think is ego is the force trying to defend the position you have found yourself in in a situation - your relative identity (at this moment). the "force" trying to put you in a position you can live with. dont get yourself confused with "those ignorant humans always trying to be at the top".. you respect people and some even might put you in place, in a position you are the student. and you like it. passion finds its place in this simply there, that you actually care about being positioned.
if that makse any sense. :P
i just wrote a sentence in here and thought "oh pick up mentalgameofpoker" and tada here we are.
i was looking for that confidence chapter at the end of the book but stopped at page 196, where it says something about freerolling your talent and i also liked the first passage on the next side, which is about dreams and reality. when i clicked on "new post" i wanted to point out where i am at in 90k hands after my fresh start, wanted to reaffirm or readjust my goals, wanted to be just everything page 196 is talking about.
the state of mind proposed on those 2 pages really is helping me out today and i think i need to manifest that. i should copy that and put it next to my screen.
so 90k hands 12bb/100 overall being 25% of winnings < EV. i had a long 30k hands tilt stretch in there, or as you call it "downswing", yeah right. last 20k hands were as good as the first 30k hands, going for glory with 25bb/100 (20 sessions, 2 loosing). with that winrate i need to play another like 30k hands to be able to move up in limits. thats nothing, daniel, face it! dont loose it!
thats actually being realistic here. my mind is always like oh no im never going to achieve this that and so on. i always am prepared for the worst, what makes me ignore the good things like me running like hell through the stakes. it is my way to cope with bad things that might occur. i always seem to be prepared for them while i never acknowledged that doing things for my own good might make it less likely for me ending up struggling. i need to experience that! need to! do not loose this thought! and my talent finally might freeroll. man, jared. genius.
these days i am very focused on training and mindset again. i wanna talk theory, hands and try to prepare myself, prepare the career i wanna go through. i am making good progress in terms of theory and strategies, just need to force myself to practice what i came across in theory.
cu.
hey
had to take some time off until i was ready to get back to this topic..
we have this skype group going on and actually act like you propose most of the time. i ask questions all of the time, i just "bring em out" without really bothering how foolish i look asking. it is not even a concern, i am asking to understand and so on. but i need a surrounding that accepts and acknowledges this.
the group refined itself with some new people joining and i continued the usual but my mind thought to recognize that i had lost my identity in this group. suddenly i was the fish, just because i was asking questions and others were like "sure", "it's like this.." just like they ate knowledge and i was stupid.
this was kinda annoying to me today it is different and mutual respect grew, so we were finally able to start working together and my worries are gone.
my problem was that the question came up who i am in this. i did not like the position i was put in.. or the position i felt like i had been put in.. might not even been real lol.
i remember that i kinda felt entitlet in the beginning, then lost big, lost confidence, but came back some months later. my level of arrogance shrinked significantly since the group started and i have a more healthy approach to the whole poker thing.
i dont see it as a big problem what my idea of myself was... okay i have been kinda arrogant, might have plateaued a bit, just felt entitlet or something. in the end it was just a concern of identity. still i was asking all the questions about pokertheory or handdiscussions that i ask today. nothing really changed.
when im reading through the forums i see the same phenomenon. people pleateuing others.. like grindcore is adored all of the time, dc's starlet. i see people believing that their knowledge is unquestionable (unlike what you pointed out with reaffirming, disproving e.g.) and others believing their words, because of the strength of that person's belief and the isolated logic that they found in their idea...
if i felt homy in here i dont think those things would have even appeared to me. why would somebody not doubt their own opinion, what are you looking for in here? it is like showing off rather than working.
i had those issues when i started here.. i felt more homy when i was unquestioned and i believed to be "somebody", while today i actually understood that im "just" somebody and the position im in is much healthier for my personal developement.. still it is some kind of identity, just a more benefitial one.
so unlike others saying you'd be able to blend out ego, which i doubt, my question remains how to live with it and how to define it, get along with it, and cope with other's claiming positions they do not belong in. in a family this would be super easy, in a small village.. well maybe, in the entire universe? come on. being able to put somebody in their position requires one to be in a position by himself, otherwise a degree of injustice would occurs. i am 100% positive with this statement and i am not a fan of shifting reality or nature just to believe not have to deal with things such as ego or identity.
see we have been talking about ego the entire thread without naming its undoubtful link to identity. i'd like to refer to SnappieVouz
"I am not going interfere in this discussion because I feel it's kind of useless, to be honoust.
There was a time where I was all serious with forums, defending my ego (forums is a place for egos talking to other egos and egos always want to be right) but I realised it's not important at all. It's not.
It's not important to be right, or to be wrong. It all just doesnt matter."
he interfered my thread with the words "get a life" and proved he still is out there. it is obvious to see that everything snappie changed was his point of view rather than his nature. he still profits/suffers from the same human nature, but has given up basically. has given up trying to find his place in this group of people.
i am really not sure that we can say that giving up actually means growing up in this case. i dont argue, i jsut dont know. thats the point where you, direstr88, are coming in. you had this pleateuing story about your chess-career and everything that has changed is your viewing angle, just what i described with my fading arrogance.
so in the end, what is left is a lesser degree of illusion in the idea of one's own identity. thats how i see it? and still identity wants to be fed with something.
we have been talking about ego and it looked like we are naming a monster, while ego just tries to defend the position we try to reach and once we found a stable identity this is gone? fin?
btw i try to be honest/real now.. i think the reason why i am asking all of this and have the highest interest in the human nature is that i have limited myself as far as my memories go. i dont take care of my needs nor put myself into positions i feel good in. i am in no position whatsoever. i just try to understand
well guess you need to name the devil for it no longer to be able to hide and scare you
story of my life
i have written about this in blogposts earlier on and basically just am writing this down to sort my thoughts.. hope there are no links missing and you understand where i come from to write all of this
