December 18, 2010
First off I'm pretty hungry so let's just get that cat out of the bagel now. (Rugrats quote, true story)
Anyway I was listening to some INTERNET RADIO - corollary - how has internet radio gotten some absurd name? - and the topic of holiday movies came up. What is the BEST holiday movie? Clearly answer that question in comments.
I don't really like any holiday movies. I never really paid close attention to any of them so I have a very vague recollection of what actually happened in all of them. Please don't tell me what happened, don't correct any of these in any way. I want to remember them like this until I'm at a holiday party SO BORING I say to myself "I will actually sit through this and see what happened". Plus I think there's a decent chance my recollection of what happened is significantly better than the movie itself. Without further ado, let's hammer out a list using the deucescracked blogging platform bullet system. Technology is our enemy so we must keep is closer than our friends.
- Miracle on 34th Street - Santa is real but he works at Macy*s. I'm sure it's because he can reach a lot of people but once you start taking that edge off it's nice to infer that the economic hard times have spread all the way to the north pole and santa needs some extra cash.
- A Christmas Story - idiot kid is warned about the dangers of a bb gun, like all idiot kids says "i'll be fine" and then ACTUALLY shoots himself in the eye. It's like when I was a kid and my parents told me I couldn't play with this old lightbulb (I liked to take stuff apart and then make weird contraptions with them blah blah). They said I would break the light bulb and get glass everywhere. I said I wouldn't. I was an idiot kid so...
- It's a Wonderful Life - I like this one I lied.
- Babes In Toyland - I'm pretty sure this is like some TWISTED adventure with evil monkeys and things coming to life and evil does not prevail. Someone gets killed but there's no blood.
- Home Alone - Ok. I remember the old man who slaughters people with a shovel. The problem is these movies are all a big mix to me. One time he's in NYC and those guys are the sticky bandits. The 1st one they are the wet bandits. I could go on for hours on these movies and how creepy that guy who slaughters people with the shovel is. A snow shovel is a deadly weapon.
I'm pretty sure those are the top 5 holiday movies of all time. Bad Santa gets an honorary mention for the one like about not shitting right for a week. That line is so vulgar I can only type it, not say it lol.
Off to a family holiday party. This one should be fun though so no movies.