September 01, 2011
A couple days ago I had to turn down US Open tickets. Not the first round like I saw last year, the US Open quarters at night. Something I watch every year and an event that would be incredible to see live I had to pass on. As Rick Pitino once said "It sucks...it stinks and it sucks". I've been slowly realizing the affects of not making > $100/hour over the lats 6 months but this is when it set in for good. In the immediate future, gone are the days of the random trips, and unnecessary spending while I'm making some money it's not nearly what it once way.
While I can't complain too much, this summer has been great this was the day I was scared of. It almost feels like whoever shut down poker in America has won. While there are many sad stories about people with gambling addictions playing poker I gotta imagine there are several with many successful poker players. Those who paid their taxes, worked hard to succeed, and turned a game into a living. There's always two sides to every story and it seems as though a few people in congress didn't care when they were trying to shut it down over the years.
The fact of the matter is and I'm preaching to the choir here I'm sure is that it is a skill game. You look at long term results and the true skill of a player comes out 99% of the time. This isn't like going to the casino and playing craps, the good players have the edge and it'll come out over time, I guess that's the most frustrating part. Along with the fact that I still haven't heard a good reason the government shutting it down.
However I think the most deflating is just that I miss playing. I miss just firing up 2-4 tables and going against whoever came along. When black Friday hit I was having a blast learning PLO and seeing the progress I was making. I was also going to learn mixed games (actually thinking about doing that during my time off) just because those seemed new and interesting to me. I miss making videos and talking about interesting situations. I've often said that some of the most interesting people I've ever met was through coaching poker and guiding someone from 50-200nl was a great feeling and I no longer have the opportunity to do that.
So here we are 6 months later and it's humbling. I've now seen the full effects of April 15th, 2011 and there just no good that has come from it. Right now I feel like Mike McD in rounders when people who know my situation ask how I'm doing I generally respond with "I've been living a little light" like he tells worm. Hopefully there's a time in the the future where I'm able to make a triumphant return, but for now I'm humbled and it's completely frustrating since it's 100% out of my control.
"It is always the secure who are humble." ` Gilbert Keith Chesterton.