Yes, I'm Protesting Math

It's almost 1 AM, I can't sleep. The reason I used to blog so much when playing poker is it was a great stress outlet. Either way after a good or bad session it was a great way to unwind and relax. Now I'm back to that point where I need to just get lost in my words. Basically the days since black Friday have been humbling money wise. I had a plan for how 2011 was supposed to go and that was blindsided on April 15th. Deciding to put my degree to work in December of this year I started looking for financial planning jobs.

I immediately heard back from a number of companies and eventually accepted a job from Waddell and Reed. I was filled with all sorts of false optimism. I'm supposed to start today. Early Saturday morning I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep. Something was bugging me, looking for answers I realized that being a personal financial planner isn't what I want to do. With a due respect to anyone reading in that profession, it seems as though it's much more of a sales job than anything else. While the money is very good if you can get people to invest, it's not something I want to do. The firms hiring seem to take anyone willing to come on that meet certain qualifications and see who sticks. I woke up my lovely girlfriend who was sound a sleep a said "I can't work at W&R". Some people enjoy that sort of thing, but it's just not for me. I emailed my boss tonight and said I have other opportunities I'm going to pursue.

So now, a week before my 26th birthday I have to come up with a new plan. Currently I'm coaching JV boys basketball for a small salary, although I do love it, it's not going to pay the bills. I have a B.S. in Management with a concentration in personal financial planning that's not going to get me too far in the business world, so what now? Well, I'm going to apply to a few local business schools. I had an unrealistic notion as to what my major was going to lead me to. I wanted to crunch numbers and figure out the best investment, I was captivated when I learned about stocks in high school and to a further extent options and futures in college. I want to be a financial analyst, forecaster, etc. I've spent all my life crunching numbers and coming to conclusions based on those calculations in baseball, I want to do the same with finance. I need to apply to business school.

So I have a list of 2 I'm going to apply to. Both are local and very expensive. My pipe dream is to become a graduate assistant at either school with the baseball team which would cut the cost. I'm going to E-mail both coaches tomorrow with a quick rundown of my baseball accomplishments just to try and plant a seed. I also need to start studying for my GMAT's tomorrow in order to get into business schools. However what I most desperately need right now is good advice. My parents and girlfriend have been incredibly supportive and helpful. I have a couple Emails out right now as to what the best course of action is to my finance contacts but for the first time in a long time I have no idea what the next year is going to bring.

I turned 25 with such optimism and now I'm filled with uncertainty. In the mean time I'm going to have to go back to my Dad's store, as well as looking to give baseball hitting and/or catching lessons. However while it's certainly a scary feeling, it comes with incredible optimism. For the first time since April 15, 2011 I'm going to be able to look forward to a future job. It may be blind excitement at this point but there's no reason in trying to make it in a job you don't enjoy especially when it's 100% commission like the one I was supposed to start today is.

So that's my dilema, a lot of uncertainty. Any advice would be appreciated and if poker wants to make its triumphant return, I'd gladly welcome that to help pay for tuition if the GA thing doesn't work out. I know the MBA won't automatically lead to a better job, but it's a step in the right direction.

Hope all is Well,

Mike

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People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily. ~Zig Ziglar

Been going around asking for advice on this. What are everyone's opinions of putting poker on a resume for financial analyst/financial adviser jobs. I'd obviously make it sound bette than just saying I played poker and made money.

PS Will be writing a longish update sometime after thanksgiving. My life is much less exciting without playing poker for a living.

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"The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and the exercise of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed in these two: common-sense and perseverance."

Dear Redsox,

Quit fucking around.

Thanks,

Mike

So I'm lucky enough that I coach a kid whos Dad runs a hedge fund. He has always been nice enough to leave an open invitation to invite me in and see how the business works. I finally took him up on that offer and am glad I did as the whole experience was very cool.

They share office space with a mutual fund and I met with him and the hedge fund's CFO as I was able to learn about both funds. This part was very cool to me, the mutual fund was very quantitative and being a math geek myself it was cool to see them take data and formulate it into a strategy. One funny part about this meeting was standard deviation of the fund was somehow brought up. He mentioned they were in the low teens, the hedge fund was in the high teens then I mentioned that my standard deviation when playing poker was in the 70s.

The look on their faces was actually pretty awesome. From there they asked how I handled it and I talked about trying to remain emotionless, BR management, etc. Then after a bit more about the mutual fund there was a break in the action. I couldn't help myself, with him being such a numbers guy I had to ask if he was familiar with Sabermetrics (baseball advanced stats). He wasn't so then I had to go off on a quick tangent about how batting average is overrated and the goal is to not make outs. I could've gone on on an hour talking about it but decided to close it by just recommending the book Moneyball to him.

From there I met Andy who was a trader at the hedge fund and I got to see his desk which was like a poker players dream setup. He had 4 monitors with a bunch of info on each one. One thing I found funny is that he used AIM and when I commented on that he goes yeah "I only use it for business". Which is the same for me as none of my "real life friends" use it anymore. All the information they have to use is incredible and very powerful. However again it goes back to not using too much emotion and making good calculated +EV decisions.

Clearly there are a lot of similarities between the financial field and poker. Now if it were only easy to get a job with a hedge fund or mutual fund I'd be all set. Either way though I was lucky enough to experience this as a lot of people won't have this opportunity, it was a blast.

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"The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear" - Socrates

A couple days ago I had to turn down US Open tickets. Not the first round like I saw last year, the US Open quarters at night. Something I watch every year and an event that would be incredible to see live I had to pass on. As Rick Pitino once said "It sucks...it stinks and it sucks". I've been slowly realizing the affects of not making > $100/hour over the lats 6 months but this is when it set in for good. In the immediate future, gone are the days of the random trips, and unnecessary spending while I'm making some money it's not nearly what it once way.

While I can't complain too much, this summer has been great this was the day I was scared of. It almost feels like whoever shut down poker in America has won. While there are many sad stories about people with gambling addictions playing poker I gotta imagine there are several with many successful poker players. Those who paid their taxes, worked hard to succeed, and turned a game into a living. There's always two sides to every story and it seems as though a few people in congress didn't care  when they were trying to shut it down over the years.

The fact of the matter is and I'm preaching to the choir here I'm sure is that it is a skill game. You look at long term results and the true skill of a player comes out 99% of the time. This isn't like going to the casino and playing craps, the good players have the edge and it'll come out over time, I guess that's the most frustrating part. Along with the fact that I still haven't heard a good reason the government shutting it down.

However I think the most deflating is just that I miss playing. I miss just firing up 2-4 tables and going against whoever came along. When black Friday hit I was having a blast learning PLO and seeing the progress I was making. I was also going to learn mixed games (actually thinking about doing that during my time off) just because those seemed new and interesting to me. I miss making videos and talking about interesting situations. I've often said that some of the most interesting people I've ever met was through coaching poker and guiding someone from 50-200nl was a great feeling and I no longer have the opportunity to do that.

So here we are 6 months later and it's humbling. I've now seen the full effects of April 15th, 2011 and there just no good that has come from it. Right now I feel like Mike McD in rounders when people who know my situation ask how I'm doing I generally respond with "I've been living a little light" like he tells worm. Hopefully there's a time in the the future where I'm able to make a triumphant return, but for now I'm humbled and it's completely frustrating since it's 100% out of my control.

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"It is always the secure who are humble." ` Gilbert Keith Chesterton.

I'm copying this post from last year as it's very important to me and the WEEI Jimmy Fund Telethon is going on the next couple days. I realize many poker players don't have excess cash at this time, but figured I'd float it out there in case anyone felt like donating. Plus the stories of these kids are awesome:

I've been incredibly blessed finding poker as a profession. It has allowed me to travel, create my own hours, and has set me up well for the future. Not to mention is a lot of fun, I'm basically playing a game for a living. I give a percentage of my winnings every year to the Jimmy Fund and honestly it's my favorite expense of the year. I first got into it because I wanted to donate to a charity and the Redsox message board I read has an annual fundraiser as well. However the point of the post is to highlight what happened on August 17 2007 and why it was so easy to donate after that day.

Typically I go to Boston every summer for a game at Fenway park, the summer of 2007 was no different. I was riding up there on August 17 to see a 3 game set against the Angels. There was actually a doubleheader that day which was Clay Buchholz major league debut but I only had tickets to game 2. Coincidentally that was the day of the Jimmy Fund/NESN radio-Telethon in which NESN raises money for the Jimmy Fund.

Jordan Leandre was a patient at the Jimmy Fund clinic. He was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma at an early age and has battled it for most of his life. He loves baseball and watching the Redsox. In 2006 he sang the national anthem at Fenway from a wheelchair. In 2007 he was out of the wheelchair and singing the national anthem again, ironically at the game I was attending. I can't imagine the mental and physical strain he has had to endure in his time on earth, but he along with every other Jimmy Fund patient I've ever seen interviewed has a great outlook on life.

After he was done singing the national anthem he was supposed to run to first base. Most of the crowd knew this and it got extremely loud as he was approaching first. When he touched it there was a cheer and then a bit of a lull. Sort of like awesome he did it and the noise lowered. Then, he decided he was going to run to second, that's when Fenway became incredibly loud.

Now I've been in Fenway for a lot of memorable games. I've seen adults crying after a walkoff win against the A's, standing ovations numerous times, Yankees/Redsox games, but I never saw the pure emotional energy that was coming from the crowd that night as Jordan ran around the bases. Not only did he run to second, he decided to run to third and then home. Furthermore when the crowd recognized what he was doing after he touched first, we became louder and louder as well.

It seems as though Jordan was just having fun. Being around baseball my whole life I can tell you the first thing that kids do after games when they get on the field is run the bases and they always have a blast. It's sort of like a natural reaction and they never stop at first or second, they always run to the plate. Jordan was no different, It's impossible for a kid younger than 10 to stop at first base, they just can't do it and he like everyone else before him was having a ball. It just so happened he was doing it in front of 35,000 fans in one of the most famous baseball parks of all time.

With both Angels and Redsox players looking on and applauding he raced for third, then home. Here is a video of it. I am convinced it would have been even louder if half the crowd was not crying as he was sprinting around the bases. It is really something I will never forget and why it is very easy for me to donate to the Jimmy Fund each year.

Cancer is really a vicious disease and you'd be hard pressed to find someone who has not had family or friends that have had it. I'm not trying to pressure anyone into donating but here's a link in case anyone is interested as the telethon is today and tomorrow. Or you can text KCancer to 20222 to donate $10.

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One of my good friend's wife is a cancer survivor. He mentioned that there's a race on the last Sunday in September and asked if I wanted to run it. Since I was getting lazy I decided to join. So having 4 weeks to train I'm going to start eating much better and running long distances 5 or 6 days a week the next 2 weeks. As I get closer I'll start training specifically for the race doing interval training and such but wanted to get a solid base as of now.

My goal for the 5k is 21:00. It's certainly doable with this much time to train. I'd love to be able run it sub 20. That's really the ultimate goal but not sure how realistic it is right now. I really struggle with hills and this course is very uneven. Either way it's for a good cause and gives me an excuse to get in shape.

Other than that not much has been going on. Just recorded an episode of Heyball and had to turn down US Open Quarters tickets. It's a bit of a reality check for me but the tickets, the hotel, and the flight is just too expensive for me with how many trips I've taken this summer. I'd have to liquidate more investments and that's something I really wouldn't want to do at this point. It's tough to complain considering that I've been able to go pretty much everywhere I've wanted this summer (except Vegas), but still hurts. 

Just goes to show how much I miss poker as any time in the last 3 years I was able to take small trips like these anytime I wanted. You really do appreciate things like this after it's gone. To add to the pain it'd be very likely that they're going to be very good matches as it's in the second week of the tournament. Thanks again American government.

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"Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it" -Eliza Tabor

I'm a really competitive and obsessive person. It was part of the reason I had success in poker. I was able to dive head first into it and do well enough to make a living. Quick tangent before I get started. I recently went on my photobucket account and had a ton of old graphs on there, so depressing. To see the money I was making before to the money I'm making now it's just so sad to me. I definitely took things for granted but for the government to shut things down, just one of the many examples of how life isn't fair.

Anyways being competitive and not being able to play poker this summer I've turned my focus to golf. Ironically I originally learned the game a few years ago in order to be able to play with clients and not embarrass myself. Anyways now that I don't have poker to occupy my time I've become much better. So far this summer I've shot an 80 twice and recently shot an 83 at a course I've never broken 90 at. Being a baseball player it's taken me a long time to iron out the swing and there are still some baseball tendencies however it's fun seeing the improvement.

In golf there's almost always gambling games going on, I used to be able to wager much more but now it's typically just a dollar a stroke or for a beer at the end of the round. One funny thing that has actually happened twice is coming down to the last couple holes the match has been very close. At this point invariably one of my playing partners starts talking about pressure and how well can I handle it? Saying stuff like "uh oh, they're in my head". I don't think much of it as it's part of usual trash talk between friends. However walking up to the tee both times I couldn't help but laugh at how ironic it is.

I felt no pressure in both instances thinking to myself I've been in pots for thousands of dollars in both cash games and tournies, playing for $10 here isn't going to affect me. Now obviously I can't say that as that would sound incredibly arrogant but it it's what I was thinking as I was about to hit my shot both times. I ended up winning each match.

My financial client list has started to build up so hopefully I'm able to make my annual golf trip to Turning Stone this fall with my brother. I always make it the last round of the year and it's so relaxing being able to have a room on the course, play 18 holes, and gamble the rest of the night. It's something I took for granted before but it's a trip I really want to make now more than ever.

I don't think I ever mentioned how I did in my 2 mile with the exception of my time. Anyways the top 10 in each gender place and I finished in 11th among the boys. Coming down the stretch this little kid sprinted by me and I could've caught him but remember thinking, "go for it kid, I'm not gonna try to catch ya." If I had known that that was for a top 10 place we would've had an amazing duel down the stretch. Now I gotta hope to get a little better to place next year.

In addition I'll be running a 5k in 5 weeks. I started training for it today. Right now my realistic goal for it is under 21 minutes but I'd love to be able to make the 20 minute mark. I'll keep everyone updated with my progress.

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"A great man will not trample upon a worm, nor sneak to an emperor." Thomas Fuller

- Since I don't take sleep aids I still have trouble falling a sleep from time to time. Haven't blogged in a while so figured I'd just ramble a bit. Firstly wanted to talk about about the whole Girah scandal. I've followed it from the start and as usual when something like this comes up whether it be in poker or day to day life, when something doesn't add up, there's always more to it. That's certainly the case with Haseeb, I posted on the DC forums that this was like a 100 piece puzzle with 15 pieces missing. The sad part is, even though he has revealed a lot it's obvious he's still hiding something. The story still doesn't add up.

When I read about things like this I really do appreciate my upbringing. I forgot where I heard this, but Haseeb could do a lot better if he just listened to this advice "When you have a difficult decision, the toughest one is usually right." While it'll be difficult initially it's usually the one that has the least repercussions. However he insists on writing these long blog and forum posts where pieces of the puzzle become uncovered but we're just taking baby steps. I just don't get it, either disappear or come clean.

- One thing that I've come to realize from reading about this is that if I ever commit a crime and see Vanessa as the prosecuting attorney, I'm screwed. From her posts on this case it's obvious she figures out the tough questions to ask and can read between the lines incredibly well. 

- This season of Curb Your Enthusiasm has been incredible. I mentioned to my brother that HBO really makes a huge mistake putting Entourage second as going from Curb to Entourage is like going from the penthouse to the outhouse. The Palestinian Chicken episode might be my favorite of all time and single Larry is much better than married Larry. I used to rank Seinfeld ahead of Curb but I may have to reconsider.

- One of my good friends was the first to get married this weekend. The wedding (or what I remember from it) was a blast and I wish him and his beautiful bride the best.

- With all due respect to Notorious BIG, I disagree with him on "Mo Money, Mo Problems"

- My fantasy baseball team the MoLesters is making a late season charge. I was 20 games back of first about 7 weeks ago, since then I'm 52-25 in second place and only 5 games back of first. I have a tough schedule the last 2 weeks, but its been a fun run.

That's all I've got, hope everyone is doing well. For those that can play online poker, hope you're crushing.

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Consider what you think justice requires and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons: for your judgment will probably be right but your reasons will certainly be wrong. ~ Lord Mansfield

Yesterday I worked with at my Dad's story for the first time in a long time and as I expected it was a reminder of how easy I once had it. Not much will humble you like being on the go for about 9 hours in an 80-85 degree warehouse putting cases of beer in peoples car and sorting empties. The good news is the actual work is easy the bad news is it's exhausting especially when busy which it was yesterday.

As far as how my finance job is going, it's slow. My boss says it's never busy in the summer and I have 4 or 5 clients lined up for the fall but in the meantime I've had to watch my spending since getting home from AC. While I'll have some income coming in in the fall it won't be near what I was used to. As the old saying goes "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone" and it's times like these that really make me miss online poker and the how easy it was to have money. In fact I was cleaning out my car the other day and saw an old bank statement from August 2008 and I'd give up quite a bit to be able to go back to how much I was spending back then.

On a completely different note I was channel surfing the other day and came across the last 20 minutes of Secretariat on a movie channel. Excited that I was going to see the Belmont I kept it on and was cautiously optimistic. It'd be awfully tough to mess up arguably the most famous and captivating race in history. Unfortunately Disney managed it do it. For some unknown reason they didn't use Chic Anderson's call and they somehow made the victory seem less dominant than it really was. It was almost a blessing in disguise that I was able to catch the last 20 minutes so I didn't have to waste my time watching the first 100 minutes of the movie.

Speaking of horse racing, after watching the debacle of Disney's recreation of the Belmont I decided to rewatch Zenyatta's run in last years Breeders cup. For those that don't know about Zenyatta, she's a philly (a girl) that was 19-0 in races against the boys. She was attempting to go to 20-0 against a very tough field, he style is that of a closer and she generally always like a bat out of hell down the stretch. I won't spoil the race for you, enjoy.

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"He who walks with the lame learns how to limp." Scottish Proverb