August 14, 2010

Disappointment

I made a small tweet the other day with basically just put out the fact that at the moment I'm feeling really disappointed in the way things are going.

Probably some minor form of life tilt but generally I try and set high standards for myself and in 2010 the only constant really has been failing to meet them which is why I'm kicking myself a little at the moment.

Bascailly given how well 2009 went, not just from poker but the fact I actually managed to, y'know, keep my job when over 20% of the company got a pat on the back and a kick in the pants out the door, and I felt a genuine feeling of growth.

This year has just been stop/start awful and I just feel like I've been going backwards if anything. 

First poker-wise it's been quite a comedown to go from a 3/6 killer to someone who is basically relying on rakeback at 1/2 recently.  Embarrassing more than anything else and yes I've run like crap and it's a small sample etc and I shouldn't be worried but I'm feeling a symptom of a bit of a larger problem.

Bascailly for anyone I've spoken to they'll know that the last 7-8 years of my life have basically been fighting a battle and it's one we're actually close to winning.  However it's also been mentally and physically draining and I honestly belive that if we don't win it this year we're never going to.

We're both sick to the back teeth of fighting and, bascailly, getting almost no help whatsoever.  We're tired of laying out plans that would seem to work only for someone to give us a totally BS excuse why they can't help.  We're both tired of politicing and downright backhandidness that we have to endure every day and we're sick of the fact every time we stick our head above the parapet someone feels the need to take a shot at us.

As you can probably tell we're both suffering from stress and it shows by the fact that when we go for a walk at night it's usually to air greivances and we have to go for a 2-3 mile walk every day.  To be honest I think it's affecting my mom worse than it's affecting me as she blames herself for all this happening.

The one bright spark this year was my trip to the US and I came back to the UK with a new sense of vigour etc and it took all of about 2 weeks to get buried again.

But..

Self-pity doesn't get anyone anywhere so it's time to put my head above the parapet one more time and this time I'm gonna find who's shooting at me and order a paradrop!!

There are good things happening. 

Our new garden is awesome and we actually got the first new plum tomatoes recently (Bigger than a Grade 1 Egg).  One of the tomato plants actually snapped under it's own wieght of tomatoes there are that may, it's been repared ingeniously with a cane and I think an old pair of tights.

The new Premiership season starts today!! Man-Cave at the ready!!  Projector? Check!! 5.1 Surround? Check! Sky HD? Check! Fridge full of drink and Freezer full of Ice Cubes? Hmm partially check, will need to fix that.  Awesome imo.

My little bad run at the tables will end....and when it does there's hell to pay.  I haven't put as much effort into improving as I have to give up now.  Last year I went through a 350BB downswing and came out the other side with a 1500BB upswing without even taking bonuses and RB into account.  Form's temporary, class is permanent.

Speaking of Class the new DC LHE Coaches...holy shit I think DC just hit the mosquito of disappointment with a 15lb lump hammer.  Way to go guys!!

I have Starcraft, Brood War and Starcraft II.  'Nuff Said.

Maybe something else good coming on the horizon...we'll see.

Sorry about the rant there fellas.  I'll be ok.  Time heals all wounds...eventually.

Posted By Boomer at 10:33 AM

2 Comments

2 Comments:

supml posted on August 14, 2010 at 16:38 PM

92099097

Hi there,

believe me, sometimes it seems that it all goes down during one short period.
I had the same shit last year and I am still fighting back to get back on track.
But I am getting there...

Cheers
Marius


obadonke posted on August 16, 2010 at 07:08 AM

Obadonke_twitter

hey booomer, hang in there.


 

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