Female poker geek anonymous

I have ran my bankroll over at Stars up nicely since starting this blog. As said before, the VPP crawl is extremely slow at 1/2 and I still haven’t cleared that damn 650$ bonus yet, will have to rally soon. I do have 2 other bankrolls over at Cake and FTP, though. Cake it’s actually big enough to be playing 2/4, too; great, since there aren’t many Cake games going usually, so need to spread out over limits to get hands in. At FTP, the bankroll was a measly 800$ when I started clearing the 100$ bonus they offered me.

I played a lot .5/1! Have cleared about 75$ of the bonus and have 2 more days to do the rest (fml). But haven’t been doing well. What’s worse is that I’m well in the green with RB and the bonus clearing. I won some prop bets, so my balance stayed around 800$ all the time, yet at the end of the session I would look at the downwards line on the Pokertracker. Finally on Thursday, I won something like 70BB (70$) and the line started to slowly go up again. Phew, or so I thought…

Cue Friday, losing day, of course. Down to 820$ again. This is insanity (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results)! Why am I wasting my time?!?! Here comes the confession: I sat down at higher limits HUHU to get the money back!

I wouldn’t have made the confession if I had won, right? Yeah, I lost. Down to 540$. Sad, sad puppy I am now. Not sad that I lost the money, because, hey, it’s gambling money and I was playing with and edge and all that stuff. Sad at me, really that I was so dedicated and doing so well for a month and a half, yet it all poofs away on some night in which I randomly decide to go to higher limits when I shouldn’t have.

This blog was about honesty and owning up. Well, I wasn’t very good last week. Worst part? Winning ~120BB at .5/1 on Saturday! It was there all along “my skill”, that the line was going to go up at one point. Why in the hell do I have to force things!?!?! If Friday .5/1 and Saturday’s .5/1 sessions had been swapped I would be on cloud 9 telling you how wonderful poker is and that I had a 80BB weekend. Instead, I’m sitting here confessing.