Back To The Trap House

Hey all,

for those who take a peak at my blog every now and again it's been quite a while since I've consistently done posts. A lot has happened to me since those times most of which is hard times for the short term but really great for the long term.

I have been through a lot and it's truly been a humbling experience. A lot of people would be angry, bitter or use a lot of self-deception to protect ego but I am grateful for what has happened. It's made me the person I am today and forced me to really take a long hard look at myself and make some mindset changes. These changes in mindset help focus and be a little more realistic about things. 

Once that happened I was able to approach poker a different way to the point I began absorbing the information in a much more efficient manner. In my journey I have made a conscious effort to read a lot of forum posts. I thought that through them I could soon see the different language winning players used compared to losing players.

One of the biggest things I noticed and blocking most players from being successful is self-deception. That was one of my biggest problems and continues to be to this day. It's your biggest problem as well but most of you may not even know it. I have an ego and so do you. The thing you have to understand about ego is that you should never stop challenging it with new information. You never think you're above learning something new. Once you do that the world will start leaving you behind. It's a life-long wrestling match and the only way you can take and keep the upper hand is giving it a constant influx of information and challenging it.

A way in which our ego can handicap us on a day to day basis is blaming other people for our shortcomings or deficiencies. I have friends who constantly blame other people for not being able to get girls when in all actuality it is themselves who prevents them from getting girls. I hear people everyday blame co-workers or their bosses for poor work performance. In poker all you have to do is sit at the table for 2 minutes until you hear some live donkey blame his poor pre-flop hand selection on bad luck. They don't even know the true definition of a suck-out but if they flop big with a poor hand OOP and get outdrawn by a hand with more pre-flop equity they blame bad luck. Never mind they were OOP and limp calling with X hand isn't profitable over the long run. 

I had a friend that I grew up with that is so incredibly lazy he creates lies everyday to justify being lazy. Actually come to think of it I have several friends like this. You do to. It could even be you. What's his excuse for being lazy, dumb and not trying? He blames the government! By blaming the government, something much bigger and powerful than he, instead of his pure laziness he doesn't have to ever face the harsh reality. 

It doesn't have to be the government. It could be that someone was distracting you or your teacher or your coach or the book that you read. It's all their fault that this happened!

I believe that there are people out there that truly cannot control the situation that they are in. They are the true bearers of bad-luck. An example is being born in an environment without clean water. Or your parents drinking while pregnant with you. Human trafficking children. These people truly are the ones who have gotten dealt a pour hand and unfortunately because of they their circumstances can never be reversed.

But the reality is that most of us, where we are in life right now and how we feel about ourselves is completely in our control. Where we are in our poker game is in our complete control. Sure there are people with ceilings of potential and yeah some people get a head start while others have to crawl out of mud but that can all be overcome. I see it everyday in the forums and at the poker tables. Players constantly blame their awful play on the dealer or another person or god knows what.

Dissecting yourself to the point of reality is painful for a lot of people. That is one of the first steps you have to overcome to actually get yourself on the right path to becoming a winning player. If you can't do that then it doesn't matter how many posts or videos you watch or read. You'll never absorb the information.

Heres the thing though. Theres no way of telling how long it will take you to overcome this. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's completely dependent on how that person was raised first and foremost. Poker goes against so much of what we've learned as correct in life that constantly bruising ones ego is something most people aren't ever really willing to do. The second part is completely up to you however fast or slow you want to make it happen.

I don't say all this stuff to discourage you. This is the truth. There is some great news to go along with this negativity. The good news is you have the power to change it and the harder you work becoming more aware and challenging yourself and your ego the faster you'll move down that path in becoming a profitable poker player.

I work hard. I stopped blaming my 60 hour a week job that drained me everyday for not getting better. Instead of complaining about not having time I made time to learn and play. I would wake up 3 hours before work and 1-table micro stakes before work. During work I would pull up a forum post or two throughout the day and break down hand histories or theory. After work I would make dinner and play until I passed out. I'd watch a video and take notes after work. I asked my friend for help, who had far exceeded my skill level, even though I was bitter and jealous inside about his success. I had to come to terms with the fact that he exceeded me because he actually put in the work. Then I had to accept his offer for help since he offered to do so. Of course in the past I would avoid it because I had to face the reality that he was better than me and that was painful. I had to stop lying to myself first to take the next step.

I broke down just about every hand in my HEM. It took me 3 months of an hour every night but I did it. 

A good friend of mine who plays high stakes kept telling me to play micros and 1-table? What? Fuck him I said. Me? 1-table micros? I didn't need to do that. Doing that turned out to be one of the biggest turning points of my poker career. He told me to 1 table and break down every single decision. It worked but at first I was angry and offended that he would even tell me to play micro NL. I was way smarter and had way more skill I could skip that step, right? Wrong! He told me if I couldn't beat the micros I couldn't win at poker. I had to face that tough reality that it may take me years to build a bankroll and get out of the micros. 

But then I told myself that I didn't have to stay in the micros for long if I studied my ass off and applied the knowledge correctly! So I worked even harder and thought about poker even more!

And here I am today. I have a nice supplement of income to pay bills. I'm outplaying people at my stakes. How do I know this? The environment will let you know when you put in the work. You don't have to lie to yourself anymore! Remember when you were losing and you were blaming other people? That was nature telling you that you didn't do the work and that you were lying to yourself! 

Am I where I want to be? Not yet but I'm well on my way. I have goals I still want to accomplish but I can honestly tell you that I'm back on the right path. When you stop deceiving yourself you begin to notice things at the tables you never did before. You start seeing that side of you, the one who blames everyone but themselves, in other people. Because you were that person you understand that person so you can outplay that person. You learn to pick off their language. You notice more tells and betting patterns. You understand frequencies and combinatorics because THIS TIME I actually did the work. I didn't lie to people or myself to put on a show. It's a process and depending on YOU is where the process begins and where it ends.

Is there a lot more work to do? The work is infinite and never stops. You never graduate. You don't get a silly piece of paper that you can show off to people so you can work for a boss and live a low risk self-deceiving life-style.

So you should ask yourself right now, are you being honest with yourself? Because if you're lying to yourself just a little then you can't win at this game. You have to take that first step, even if its a little baby step, to start the process.