Back To The Trap House

This puts a smile on my face

Its been about 2 weeks now and no alcohol. My new years resolution was 1 month no alcohol or drugs. Weed doesn't count because in my opinion that is just standard. Its more of a mind expanding herb than anything and is +EV for any poker player.

I also think that booze is one of the worst things for you. In fact I would go as far as to lump it in with heroine, crack and cocaine. Not saying I have done any of those 3 (or have I?) but as far as the destruction it causes on your body and how addicted people get I would say its equally as bad.

I have done countless stupid things on booze. In fact I could write an encyclopedia of dumb shit that I wouldn't have done had I been sober or on weed. Anything from driving drunk, fisticuffs, sleeping with girls I would later regret doing, saying embaressing stuff, dropping my iphone in the toilet, throwing up, making a scene at family outings and so on.

On weed I have done none of the above unless you count driving while high a crime which I do not. I have never gotten into a fight high, slept with a low class woman, thrown up or said embaressing things. If I did say anything remotely embaressing it was most likely harmless and we all laughed about how dumb it was.

With that being said Getting piss drunk sure is a fun time. It feels good to just let go, dumb yourself down and act like an idiot. WHY? Fuck if I know I'm not a psychologist......

I have noticed some changes in my mind set and psyche ever since. It feels nice to wake up on a Saturday and feel normal. I feel like I'm building some solid momentum going into the new year. I'm much more clear headed in general. I really can't remember a weekend in I don't know how long that I have not at least gotten tipsy and more often than not, piss drunk.

I notice a big difference in how people react to me when drunk as compared to high or normal. Its like on different types of drugs you give off different types of energy. Sometimes people are just creeps and the drugs and alcohol just magnify their creepiness. I would say that on booze you walk a fine line between being fun and a creeper if you aren't a creeper already. I've crossed that line on booze before several times and not felt good about it in the morning.

You can balance it for sure. I would say that 1-5 drinks I am just fine. If I pace myself throughout the night after that then I do good. But once I hit 6-10 drinks and depending on the speed in which I do so thats when I start getting sloppy. This is when any charm I had quickly disapears. Any chance of getting laid flys out the window. Even if I wanted to get laid I couldn't because my dick stopped working around drink 6. Around drink 7 my face radiated drunk and drink 8 and 9 I can't even walk straight. Drink 10 is when I black out and around drink 11 or 12 is when I start running my mouth. Drink 13 I puke and don't remember and drink 14 I feel like death for two days.....

And then next weekend we do it all over again like some sort of never ending rap video but not quite as cool......

Well, I am done doing that. I am sick of it and if I ever want to be a poker player then it must stop immediately. I have been thinking about this more and more. What does it mean to you to be a poker player? I'm a poker player you say and so are you right? Not so fast. Just because you play doesn't make you a poker player.....

To beat poker, you have to be poker. Thats it. You have to give yourself to this game. That is the only way.....

Its a huge sacrifice. Its an obsession. Its a way of life. Not many people are willing to do this. For some of us its much easier because we have nothing else. For others its a fight to the death. Not literally but the death of your old self.

I hear from time to time from successful players they sometimes wish they hadn't gone down this path. It takes over everything. Its always there and there is nothing else. You think about poker so much that it becomes your reality. You can't escape it......

So embrace it....

My friend Johnny often told me about a year ago if you just give yourself to poker it will give back. Just put in the hard work, focus on the process and you'll turn the corner. Well, he did. I watched from afar as he became a poker player.

Its 2 opposite ends of the spectrum. We came up in the same game. He's an example of doing everything the right way I am an example of doing everything the wrong way. He took the right path and I got lost in the jungle.

I'm on the right path now. The rest is up to me. In a game filled with so much chaos you'd be surprised at how much control you have but only if you give yourself to the game.....