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Hate Mode: Activate.

I've been in hate mode lately, the kind when you hate on everything. You know when you wake up in the morning and hate work? The kind where you put your work clothes on and hate your work clothes too.

Fuck breakfast. I hate that shit too....

Hate mode. I'm just hating on everything right now. I hate my new haircut. My regular barber fucked that up pretty good. usually he gives me a pretty good cut but he found a way to fuck it up. Doesn't a bad haircut just throw your whole world on tilt?

 I hate going to work. I hate the people I see at the gym.  I hate my bank account. I even hate the bag of popcorn I ate last night and the shoes I'm wearing right now. HATE. HATE. HATE.

I seem to have a pretty good way of handling this. Booze or drugs. Or just drugs. I lump booze with drugs since it is a drug. I hate people who say booze isn't a drug.

its been hard to motivate myself to get up in the morning. Thats how my hate mode works. Everyone else's is different but similar. I tilt easily when I'm in hate mode. Its bad for my bankroll although I haven't been playing lately because I hate my bankroll too.

I hate the customers who walk in and ask me for help. Go fuck yourself customer I'm not here to be your monkey but I can dance pretty good like one!

HATE. HATE. HATE.

Well, you get the point. I'm in hate mode. Stay out of my way or you'll get hated on as well. I just needed to get that off of my chest.

Now that I've done that I need to do something to get out of hate mode. More booze? Naw, that doesn't really help I'll only feel like shit in the morning and hate life. More drugs? Depends on the drug but sure it could help!

But what else besides substance abuse? I could make a few changes in my everyday routine and life for one. Everyone gets stuck in these cycles. These cycles go up and they go down but you're in control of them. I'm in a down cycle. I did a few things to cause this. Thats the good news. Its my fault I'm in hate mode. I can turn it off with a few lifestyle changes.

Hate mode, if you haven't figured it out yet, is basically a rut. Its when you lose momentum or get lost. Kind of like when you're walking in a brightly lit house to go get a sand which in a large house only to have the electricity shut off abruptly. You were excited to make a delicious deli sand which only to have the lights shut off on you. Now you're hungry and lost.......

Sorry, had deli meat on the mind....

So what can we do to regain our momentum and confidence? I for one like to read a little bit more. I like to explore new things to improve myself and then implement them. No, not just in poker but outside of the game. Its strange when you improve yourself outside of this game your game improves. A lot of you don't do enough of this and obviously, since I'm in hate mode, don't do enough of it either.

Try something different outside of your routine. Get a few new shirts, maybe change your hairstyle, eat different food, try something new (fuck it, try the opera or go to a show you've never been to before).

Maybe you'll see some new things in your life that you didn't notice before. You'll gain new perspectives and a new confidence you maybe never had before.