Back To The Trap House

I was told by my counselor months ago that my thrill seeking personality is a slippery slope. I like to ride the ride line and see how far I can push it. Sometimes I push it too far and fall off the cliff......

Never seems to fail with me. I slipped again this weekend and went a little more wild than I probably should have. I really do enjoy weekends like this though. It's worth the everyday grind of work.

The important part is getting back to my routine and hitting it hard again. I used to feel really guilty when I would rage like this but thats the difference between a burnout and someone who becomes successful, how you manage your lows and coming back from them.

In the past I would go into a depressive hole and not leave my room for days. Now I will still happily wake up early and go out and get shit done. My life is not for the faint of heart but it sure is lots of fun!!

On Friday I went to Paul Okenfold at this concert venue by my house. Okenfold isn't as big as he used to be obviously but he's still fun to listen to. I didn't really enjoy the crowd that much and overall the concert was below average because of this. I ended up hippie flipping and making out with this girl who says she was 23 but could easily be debated.

A calzone place opened up by my house and I dropped in, took a calzone home ate it and passed out. The next day I'd have work at 9AM.....

I awoke and got ready for work with my ear's still ringing and feeling a little sluggush. Work wouldn't be very enjoyable and I was pretty worthless throughout the day. The only bright spot was a ginormous bowl of PHO I ate for lunch. For those of you who don't know what Pho is, its a giant bowl of broth with rice noodles, jalapenos, sprouts and thin slices of beef thrown in. The beef isn't fully cooked and cooks in the bowl before you eat it. Its my new favorite food and i probably have it at least once a week.

Anyways, I got off of work early at around 5:30 and went home to get ready. There were people meeting up at my house to pre game before and I needed to clean up a bit. I had met a cute girl a few weeks earlier and invited her to the show after telling another I couldn't go with her anymore. I grabbed a 30 pack of hipster juice (PBR) and was ready to get moving. We still had a substance missing from the picture but we could easily secure it at the show if we wanted to. Although I had hippie flipped the night before I had every intention of doing it again despite the fact I would be taking this girl I had just met a few weeks earlier. I decided that when I met her I was probably one of the most fucked up I had ever been. I was about to get super fucked up again so if she didn't like it she could kick rocks. This is me and this is what I enjoy. No more pretending to be someone that I'm not.

It would be a good night since I had just got my free Weezy shirt in the mail and was excited to wear it out. The concert we were going to was Lotus and Infected Mushrooms. Lotus was a hippie electronic jam band and infected mushroom was just weird but really fun to listen to. I took my chocolate before I got there so it would kick by the time I arrived. This was another venue that was close by my house and within walking distance. The house is owned by my good friend and DC coach on here. Thanks to him and this location I'm having some really epic degenerate weekends!

Everything started to kick in and I almost freaked out but was in control. It was just a really intense come up and I hadn't tripped so hard in my life. Well, I had but this time felt different. The music was just soooo intense and I was very impressed by Lotus! I will be checking them out next time they come through Colorado.

After the show ended we went down to Cervantes Masterpiece ball room. Its neither a masterpiece nor a ballroom. Its just a janky run down concert venue full of good times! They were playing a Dub Step Show on one side and jam band music on the other. I kept going in between the two sides. It felt like I was walking between 2 different worlds which doesn't make any sense unless you had ingested what I had. The music was two polar opposites one being mellow and relaxing and the other intense. We would stay until both bands stopped playing around 3AM and head home with my date. XXX

The next morning I awoke still in the mood to party. I woke up and took her home glowing from the amazing night we had together. Not that you perverts but the shows we went to. As soon as I dropped her off I picked up my friend John. Not that John but one I went to High school with. We declared it to be a degenerate Sunday and began bar hopping around East Colfax. A few of Johns friends were at a strip club called Shotgun Willies. I didn't have money to be blowing in a strip club but the guys there had it covered so we hopped a cab and went.

As soon as we got there party mode activated and we picked up some more substances. It was pretty empty for a Sunday afternoon I guess. I don't go to many strip clubs. I'm just not a very big fan of the atmosphere. I began drinking but slowly my mind grew tired from the previous 2 nights and I started to pass out. Everyone else left except my friend and I and we just kicked it drinking while a few strippers came to say hi. At this point I hadn't spent a dime on any of them and wasn't planning on doing so. As one talked to my friend I laid in my chair feeling her up. I fully expected her to ask me for money but she didn't nor did she ask my friend for any either. Maybe she was enjoying the convo? I don't know.....

At this point I was passing out and our waitress said if I didn't again they would kick me out. I hopped a cab back home and laid down on my balconey with a cigarette. I must've passed out briefly because my neighbors came out and asked if I was ok. At that point I just awoke and went inside and fell asleep. The degenrate weekend had ended and it was time to get back to reality.

Some Poker stuff: I haven't been playing as much the past 2 weeks. I got really side tracked recently and it all culminated in going off the deep end this past weekend. Everytime I played I spewed stacks like I used to but not to the same degree. I must've lost my momentum but it has been somewhat hard for me to focus when I play. I'm going to pick things back up again and get back on my routine. This job doesn't agree with me but I made a commitment to myself to stay for one year while I grind up. I have a vote of confidence from my friend Russ that I'm good enough to make it far but I need to work through my own leaks before he offers to back me again. He's coaching me and willing to sweat me whenever I play but I haven't quite taken advantage of it yet. I've been so busy.....

When or if I leave this job next March I will have lots of good things on my resume. I'll have management experience, Sales experience and finance experience. This isn't what I want though. I want to travel for a few years. I just want to pick up and go for a while and whatever way I can achieve this I will. With poker it seems more attainable and my only option right now. Whether I will be good enough to sustain that lifestyle next March is TBD but I will find out. Given the situation I was in earlier this year I won't take it for granted. I understand the difficulty in manifesting this dream and have a greater appreciation and respect for it.

I asked my friend if he would stake me in tournaments but he said he couldn't at this time. I have always been profitable in tournaments and while i should be focusing on cash games I love tournaments. I can't get enough of them and maybe need that hope of binking one for a decent score and moving back up to 50 or 100NL. I can beat those games like I can beat micros but thats not the point. I have to take my bumps and bruises again so I can fully understand and appreciate the level of difficulty. If I have a big month at work I can just roll myself but things have been slow moving........

Anyways, I appreciate anyone who reads my blog! Thank You!

Heres my favorite song right now!

Skrillex-Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeNSzJ2-Jw&feature=channel

La Roux-In it for the kill-Skrillex Remix

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpEOErRV-u4&feature=channel