September 13, 2010
I'm sure some of you reading that last post were probably a little weirded out understandibly. I did enough during Labor day to kill 2 baby elephants. In your eyes you have to be wondering why someone would do so many drugs. Well, the standard reasons do apply in this situation.
TBH in the past I never really did that much. Besides weed and alcohol I mostly steered clear while my friends went wild. Most of my good friends love to do stuff like that but I always kind of felt guilty.
It wasn't until this summer that I decided to embrace my inner degen rather than be ashamedÂ of it. Its a valuable asset in my future success if I can properly hone it and focus it towards great things. By embracing it and just kind of letting go I'm basically testing my threshold of how far I can slide before I either catch myself or get into another bad spot.
You see, I personally think that most successful poker players have an inner degen/demon stirring inside of them. Everyone always seems to go back to Phil Ivey but what comes to mind about him is he slept under bridges in Atlantic City because he would blow his roll and didn't have enough bus fare to get back. He had a fake ID and he told his mom he never wanted to work a 9-5. He laid down his entire 50K bankroll in Larry Flynts game and told his friend if he lost it he would quit poker for good. Such a degen.
Yeah, he has some incredible natural talent that some of us will never touch but at the end of the day Phil's Degen Guided him to great success! He learned how to tame it and focus that energy towards greatness. If he didn't know how to tame it he'd be broke or dead. This is with anyone who has an addictive thrill seeking personality. It can lead you to success or total self destruction. Its really all on you.
Theres this thing about accountability that I've been learning lately. I never really understood the word. For a long time now I've always thought it was silly to blame gambling or drugs for ruining a persons existence. Theres billions of dollars being spent on rehab for some sort of addiction to something.
That is so Level 1 IMO. Its not the drugs or gambling, its that person who is the problem. Simply telling them not to do either isn't going to stop him from becoming addicted to something else. By holding yourself accountable you're in full control. You need to be in complete control to be successful in life.
That person has never been able to succesfully tame their inner Degen so they find themselves stuck in cycles they can or will never break. You have to break the degen cycle or you'll just end up like the fish with 1 fin. The fish with 1 fin can only move in a circle and is at the complete mercy of the current. He can't move side ways, backwards or forwards. If people who focus more on the person rather than the substance then they would solve all those problems. In this world people always say, don't do drugs, don't have pre marital sex, don't drink and drive, don't get into fights, Well yeah thats fine and all but you aren't really addressing the real problem which is that particular person.
Throughout this past year I have luckily been forced to look at myself from rock bottom, a position that really brings things into perspective. Its very humbling and enlightening to smack your face into the dirt and get back up. I have been able to see the cycles I have been stuck in for many many years.
A very good exercise I suggest you try is to map out your own cycles. Everyone has them. No one is stuck in the middle. There are ups and downs constantly. If you do this successfully you'll be able to catch yourself next time you feel like slipping or become more aggressive when there are a lot of positive vibes in your life. You'll be able to figure out what gets you into a positive mood and what things get you in a bad mood. You'll be able to better handle your life down swings. It's basically a way to map out your life. If you map it out correctly you will be able to see the correct pathways as well as avoid the pitfalls.
I personally haven't mapped everything out but I'm well on my way!